


The Castaway

by Raven_Hallowryn



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: F/F, F/M, Family, Smut, amorra - Freeform, explicit - Freeform, mature - Freeform, noarra, post book 1, post-cannon, the castaway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-30
Updated: 2013-04-30
Packaged: 2017-12-10 00:28:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 73,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/779705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Hallowryn/pseuds/Raven_Hallowryn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Guided by otherworldly forces as she searched for answers, Korra stumbles upon a wounded shipwreck victim. She had no idea how that day would change her life.<br/>(Post Canon (after season 1 finale))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beach

**Author's Note:**

> *~I dedicate this fic to masksarehot. She is an amazing source of inspiration, a fantastic person and I owe her for helping me break my long, long, loooooong writer’s block. Go check out her LoK fanfiction and art, it’s awesome!  
> To be fair I also dedicate this to moni158, her LoK fanart is incredibly inspiring and entertaining. Please look her up on DA. And mongoliantiger has also eventually became an invaluable source of inspiration, please look up her art on tumblr.  
> They were my muses for this. ~*

She stretched lazily, fisting her hands and reaching for the afternoon sky in slow sluggish movements of her standing body before relaxing fully.  
Looking around, she noted there was not much to see- it was a beach like any other, though smaller and sheltered by cliffs via land and by spiky reefs via sea; the sand was fine and very white, marred here and there by the occasional polished pebble or broken shell; the troubled frothy waters spun in an inky blend of aquamarines, blues, indigos, teals and foamy whites in an almost otherworldly pallet of colors, as if the Spirits themselves were painting the landscape; the bright sunlight caressed her dark skin and danced over the water like blinding sparkling diamonds; the breeze carried a soft whistle through the cliffs along with the cry of lizard-gulls and the caw of eagle-hawks; the scent was an unique amalgamation of sea salt, fish scales and moisture with the distant undertones of eucalyptus and pine from the forest and even the far away wispy smells of smoke and ash from the city, though that did not ruin the scent, but made it reassuring instead.  
She sat down, ignoring how the grains of powdery sand got everywhere, from the inside of her clothing to getting stuck in furs at her waist and under her fingernails, instead she rejoiced in the sensations of sand on her feet, burying the appendages into the warm gritty soil and relaxing further. Her boots were long since discarded by the cliffs, near where Naga slept lazily in the sun.  
It was a beautiful place, both for the senses and for the soul. But despite all the beauty, it was not overwhelming or distracting. And distraction was the last thing she needed at the moment.  
She sighed, breathing out the stress of the last three weeks. The war was over but Amon, Noatak she must remember to call him Noatak, had fled with Tarrlok, his bending still intact and neither of them had been heard of since. The Equalists had been defeated, many had been arrested and facing charges while many others were pardoned and some had even joined the volunteer efforts to rebuild the city. The gangs still skulked everywhere but more cautiously now, though luckily their heads had long since fled, leaving organized crime in the city crippled. The police force was back in the capable hands of Chief Beifong and the United Forces Navy and Army men that had been dispatched were given orders to stay indefinitely and help keep order in the city. The council was preparing to regroup and re-elect some members and the creation of a non-bending party was allowed.  
But there were other more personal matters pressing on Korra’s mind- she had finally managed to work out some of her feelings with Mako and they had become an unofficial couple, but now that she had him, despite all their chemistry, something felt off. Perhaps that old saying that “relationships started in times of unease were doomed to be uneasy themselves” had actually hit a mark somewhere; she had always wanted him and it was obvious that he had become attracted to her, but after all the traumatic incidents their kisses felt more like an old whim and an affectionate comfort than actual passion, he had been a stable rock when she needed him but she now felt selfish that she had used him that way, though she was sure he had even more confusion in his own mind, after all there was still Asami. She had loved him though, a sweet innocent and stubborn first love, and she would always love him but after all the trauma and grandeur she had gone through, she had grown from the sheltered teenager she used to be to a woman, an Avatar, and in turn her perspective on many things had tilted- love and relationships were a couple of those things.  
Then there was the Avatar state that she could barely reach much less control. Despite having unlocked it at the cliff, she had never been able to enter it fully though she wasn’t completely useless, after all returning people’s bending was not easy but in itself did not demand a full Avatar state, only a foot in the doorway and the right frame of mind, so that much she had achieved. Worse than that was entering the Spirit World, she found it near impossible to contact any spirit with the exception of the brief, almost unexpected, visits from Avatar Aang’s consciousness and the occasional glimpse at the spirits of the previous Avatars, but she craved the spiritual clarity to understand and enter that realm.  
And then there were the more philosophical and ethereal discussion on right or wrong, of bender and non-bender, of tyranny versus chaos, of who had the right to decide whether one should lose or recover his or her bending, among many other gray area questions that proved far too difficult for Korra’s straightforward and headstrong personality.  
It was all exhausting. The rollercoaster of emotions after losing and then recovering her bending was bad enough, add to it the physical fatigue of all her responsibilities after the war and now all these stressful worries on her mind, and the result was a very lost and confused barely-realized Avatar.  
So she had gotten sick of waiting, patience was certainly NOT her thing. She decided to ask guidance to the Spirits and to all the Avatars, guidance and advice about all these things and how to understand them, guidance on how to bring balance, guidance on how become peaceful and balanced herself, and a light to find the path of her own unique destiny as an Avatar, but the answer had been vague to say the least- for several days she had had flashes of images of that place, for several nights she had dreamed of that beach, of the exact spot where she now sat, currently folding her legs into the lotus position. She could take the hint- that is where she needed to be.  
So she packed a bag and warned everyone that she needed some time for a spiritual search of sorts and that the Spirits were guiding her. It took some convincing and preparing but in the end nobody objected as she left, well maybe a couple of people had objected of her going alone, but she had made sure those wouldn’t catch her before she left. She didn’t know where that beach was or how far but somehow she was guided there by listening to the elements themselves and in little over two days she was there, surprised to discover that it was not so far from the city itself, though still fairly far from Yue Bay by foot, or in her case by riding Naga.  
After her second night sleeping in the open she woke with her head swimming with dreams of the beach that had become far more insistent, allowing her the hope that she must be close; so she bathed in a nearby cave that she found had a spring of fresh water, then began walking along with Naga. She had been making way most of the morning and was eating her lunch, not really tired enough to stop for her food, when she walked out of the forest and nearly stumbled off a cliff. And there it was- the small inlet she searched for was right below her just a few earthbent stairs away.  
Korra lay back under the sun, ignoring the sand in her hair and took a deep breath of that unique breeze. Now that she thought about it more deeply, the cove had been way too easy to find and though it was pretty there was really nothing so remarkable to be found there, so perhaps the dreams and flashes meant not that the place was important but rather what would happen to her there.  
So what to do? Wait? Search? Train? Meditate? She wasn’t quite sure and just waiting wasn’t her style but she settled with meditation, hoping she could gleam some answers from it. It was an art she failed utterly at but her current location lacked the usual distractions so perhaps she could focus if she was stubborn enough.  
Sitting up again, she shook the sand off her hair and assumed the lotus stance once more, closing her eyes and resting her palms on her lap.  
She worked on her breathing as Tenzin had taught her; she cleared her mind and tried desperately to focus. Still, it took a long time, and many peeks around the beach, for her body to fully relax and for her mind to flutter off into a semi-meditative state.  
She wasn’t sure how long she lasted like that, but suddenly her mind’s eye caught a flash of something at the very edge of the cove, it was… - she jerked up even before her eyes snapped open. She shook her head, stumbling a little and trying to steady herself, after all breaking a meditative state required calm and time, not a sudden jolt awake like a regular nap. She vaguely became aware that the sun was not far from setting.  
She blinked and tried to focus on that flash, that image. She did not recall what it was but something made her look to her left, to the very edge of the cove where the tide was getting lower, opening a tiny arm of beach that led to another, even smaller, bay. It was as if that spot had a magnetic pull on her, making her march ahead slowly towards it, but at the same time she was terrified of what she might find and filled with excitement as well.  
But when she reached the end of inlet, she saw nothing. She looked around but there was just sand and a few crabs and lots of dark seaweed washing up with the low tide all the way across a thin strip of beach to some marine caves up ahead. She sighed with disappointment watching the orange and gold hues of the late evening sun bathe the scenery around her.  
«What was I expecting? A miracle answer to all my problems?» She thought bitterly, sitting over a barnacle encrusted rocks and laying her head in her hands, letting her fingers grip at her hair with frustration.  
Some twinkled. Just a little flash of reflected sunlight. But it was angled in such a way that when Korra shifted a little to release her hair, it blinded her directly.  
She stood, blinking furiously, and looked around for the source of the light. It took a few seconds but she thought she spotted something small and glittery and moved towards it slowly, curious but cautious. It seemed to come from a heap of seaweed up ahead. A very large heap of seaweed. Too large.  
“Oh my Spirits…” Suddenly Korra was sprinting in the sand.  
In a matter of seconds she was there. The source of the shine was nothing more than broken pocket watch. A pocket watch whose chain hung miraculously intact from the shredded scraps that were remains of black and brown clothing. Clothing that belonged to the man Korra found washed ashore in the tumbles of seaweed.

 

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~  
(Author's Note: This work improves throughout its development but please warn me of any typos you might find.)


	2. Fighting Death

She leaned down to peer at the form before her. But what the last dying rays of sun allowed her to see make her shiver despite the warmth of the evening.  
The man in the seaweed was hurt, severely so. He lay face down on the sand only slightly tilted to the left by a dislocated shoulder. Korra touched his neck searching for a pulse and found one almost instantly, but it was weak and irregular. The person was alive, but given the state of him, she could hardly believe it. His skin seemed burned, blistered in some spots and literally charred in others with disfiguring swelling almost all over his body. But the burns were not new, despite the raw and red look they seem to be in a somewhat visible stage of healing, though not by much give that the wounds seemed to be infecting severely and the parts that were not red were either bruised in purplish yellows or deathly pale, almost grey; she also assumed he must have bled profusely. His lips were blue and parched, she could not tell how long he had been drifting at sea with no fresh water. All in all, it was a miracle he was still breathing.  
She couldn’t even tell what shade his natural skin was, it was so damaged and so darkened by the ruthless sun that he could very well had been water tribe as much as air nomad, for all she knew. But his brown hair seemed somewhat salvageable as the only feature that was currently not distorted with cruel agony, though quite singed nonetheless. He looked more like some disfigured monster, a hulk of distorted swollen and battered flesh aborted by some horrible mistake of nature that had just some vague resemblance to a human, even his garments seemed to add to the monster story feel- his clothes were no more than shredded and washed out rags clinging to his body like the seaweed that was tangled in them, his shoes were long gone, he had the remains of one glove still tangled in his right hand and only the watch and a button or two seemed recognizable.  
It took a few moments for her to snap out of the shock but soon Korra realized she had to do something, they needed a shelter and fresh water and they needed it fast, so she used what little airbending she had mastered so far to carry the man. She tried to move as fast as possible towards the caves, hoping that perhaps they might have fresh water springs or creeks like the other caves she had passed on her way that seemed to abound in the area. She was lucky- the first cave was just a large hollow that, if the submerged area was counted, was as big as Avatar Aang Memorial with spiky, slippery dangerous rocky ground, not to mention most of it would flood in the rising tide; but fresh water seemed to drizzle through a slight opening about ten feet above her head and she found a smaller and safer cave there. The smaller cave was still quite large, about as big as the main Meeting Hall at the Council building back in Republic City; there was large glittering bean shaped pond close the far end that seemed to be all clear fresh water that fell from a spring fifteen feet above it in the cliff wall, to the right there was a small wonky opening in the cave roof that let in some light, columns and stalagmites littered the place but the ground was fairly smooth and freckled with some sort luminescent teal crystal.  
In any other day she would have found that cave beautiful, but at the moment all she cared for was shelter and fresh water, and for that the place was perfect.  
She turned back and carefully maneuvered the man through the opening between caves among air cushions and deposited him in the ground with gentle care.  
She then rushed to go grab her things and returned moments later, panting from the frantic rush with Naga trotting up behind her. She realized the polar bear dog couldn’t reach the cave and even if she could, the entrance was not big enough and not stable enough to be enlarged with bending so she earthbent a spot on the beach by the cliffs to make a shelter and resting spot just for Naga, and left her best friend there with some food.  
“Stay here, Naga. Don’t worry, I’ll be back.” She petted the animal’s white snout the hurried off again.  
In moments she was hoisting herself back into the cave with ice-bending and, once inside, she pulled a blanket from her satchel and spread it out, then she walked to the man and, upon uttering a small unheard apology, stripped away the shredded clothing and proceeded to use waterbending to carefully wash the sand and salt off his damaged skin, as well as the puss and dirt accumulation on the wounds. She then laid him on the blanket with airbending.  
It briefly crossed her mind that this was a complete stranger and that his wounds were so severe that he was most likely not going to survive, but she had automatically and recklessly rushed to help him. However, she was led to him by superior forces and therefore would not neglect him, she wouldn’t let him die without a fight.  
Before she could think further she already had bent a large amount of water from the pond that was now glowing as she used her water healing techniques, enveloping the man’s body in the humming ghostly glow and moving carefully all around him.  
She had feared that moving him might have worsened his wounds- what if he had a broken neck? Or a ruptured organ?  
But she had been forced to find a solution before night fell and brought along the cold as well as the rising tide and, luckily, it had been the right decision. Despite the severity of the wounds, his neck and spine were intact and, thank the spirits, so where most of his internal organs. The salt water had brought terrible dehydration but it had also helped heal and sanitize the burns. She took her time to assess the damage while water-healing and during that time she made a mental list- a collapsed lung, around 60% of the skin was severely burned, multiple bruises and hematomas, three cracked ribs, a dislocated shoulder, initial stages of gangrene on his left leg and forearm, sprung ankle, four broken fingers, a broken nose, severe dehydration and malnourishment, infected kidneys from said dehydration, multiple slashes and some…shrapnel?  
She realized the man might be beyond saving but she also realized this had been no blazing fire or firebender attack, it had been a severe explosion. Perhaps an explosive shipwreck or a bombing attack, either way she couldn’t believe he had survived so long and therefore surmised he must either be very strong or have an enormous will to live.  
~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~  
Korra lay panting on the slightly moist ground of the cave looking up in to the crystal strewn ceiling of the cave as a misty light of early dawn filtered through the hole in the roof replacing the light from the dying embers of the fire she had lit. Her skin was covered in a dripping sheen of sweat that plastered locks of hair to her face and made her clothes stick to her body.  
She spent literally the whole night trying to water-heal the wounded stranger and only stopped when her body could no longer take the strain and her muscles failed her, causing her to collapse in exhaustion. Still, it had not been wasted time.  
After several minutes trying to steady her breathing, the Avatar sat up gingerly. It was hard, it felt as if her body was made of led but she wiped sweat from her face and neck and then scooted closer to examine the man who was breathing more strongly but still with a heavy slow wheezing rasp.  
She had managed to keep the water she used to heal warm enough to avoid hypothermia and had been able to completely heal the gangrene and seal all the cuts, the swelling all over the man’s body had gone down about halfway making him look like a hurt human rather than a melted monstrous bulk of flesh, the burns no longer seeped puss and were perfectly clean and on their way to healing, his nose was set back into place and mostly healed, the shoulder was also set back into place, the collapsed lung was no longer punctured and flooded with blood but needed time to heal, the sprained ankle was still severely hurt but no longer risking a muscle tear, the fingers needed to be splintered but were set since broken bone could not easily be healed by water healing, unfortunately this also meant the ribs would need time to heal as well but they seemed to be holding, the shrapnel had been a challenge but Korra had got most of it out since it was imbedded superficially, unfortunately she could not remove the smallest pieces and the few that were internally entrenched though luckily they seemed to not be life-threatening. Though he was too out of it to consciously drink she had managed to force some water into him in small tiny hourly amounts easing the dehydration, this had also helped her water-heal the kidneys though they would need more time and water to flush out the poisonous toxins loaded in his body. All in all, she thought he might make it through another day if his will to live was strong enough.  
The Avatar just wanted to curl in a ball and sleep that day away but she knew she still had more to do.  
She sluggishly dragged her body to the pond and washed off the sweat as well as she could, then she bent the water off her body and dressed in some spare clothes. She then grabbed her old garments and the left-over rags of the man’s clothing and washed them, only to tear all the clothes into strips afterwards making improvised bandages, it took a while and the sun had become visible in the early morning chill but she managed.  
Afterwards she resurrected the dead fire she had started the night before, opened a small can she retrieved from her bag. It contained a strong unpleasant smelling dark green goo that she carried with her whenever she travelled, it was a strong healing ointment and Katara’s old recipe that mixed purified mineral waters, strong herbs and plants, berries, fish oils, honey, plant oils, flower pollens, various goos and pastes and even ground spices. Korra was happy to rarely have to use the icky stuff but she was grateful that it worked and was very strong, unfortunately she figured it would not last long with how extensive the man’s wounds were but she would not risk moving him so it would have to do until she could get more supplies.  
She returned to the hurt castaway and used airbending to slowly lift him, wondering how she had ever managed all those years without the delicate skill of manipulating the air but groaning at the effort to keep him up when her whole body wanted to sink into the ground and pass out. She soon gave up and opted to do things the hard way. She slowly and carefully turned the man over and rubbed the goo on the man’s wounds, with particular care on the burns, she also took the time to splinter his broken fingers with thin slates of wood and bandages. Once the entire back side of his body was done, she set out the bandages over the blanket and with extreme care rolled him over them, she then proceeded to spread more of the ointment on the front of the man’s body- she started with his face, careful of his swollen eyes and parched mouth, noting that luckily both those features seemed mostly salvageable though she feared the lips would become dragged and distorted after scarring. Afterwards she began mapping each wound and each swollen edge of his visage. She assumed he had been handsome at one point, what little she could assess from his bone structure seemed to imply so, but she was certain he would never recover fully from the burns that marred most of his face; however, she presumed something had shielded part of his body since many of the burns on his arms and legs and back seemed to have melted the skin, scorching deep to the muscle but the burns on his chest and face seemed much, much lighter, in fact the biggest concerns in those areas were the cuts, swelling and muscle damage, the burns themselves would be forever scarring but not lethal on their own, and not disfiguring in the melted flesh sort of way, so esthetically speaking, he might just get lucky.  
For a moment Korra criticized herself for such thoughts, the man was still dying for all her efforts worth and here she was calling him lucky that his face wasn’t completely blow off. She sighed and returned to her work, moving on to the neck and shoulders, then to the chest, pausing to assess his breathing before spreading the ointment carefully to his abdomen and hips.  
At this point she stopped and blushed lightly. Then internally slapped herself for the reaction. She wasn’t an expert in male anatomy but she could tell that this very much a man and the idea of rubbing healing sludge on his privates wasn’t very appealing.  
«Oh, stop being a bashful little flower and do it. He’ll probably thank you later, besides it’s not really so bad that you have to linger on it.» She berated herself internally.  
With a deep breath her hands moved lower, gently working the ointment into every little inch of skin. She had been right though, there wasn’t much damage in the area between his navel and upper thighs, just some bruising, some irritation and a deep gash on his hip; she could tell something had shielded away that area, perhaps he had bulked over in the blast? Perhaps something had been in the way? A steering panel maybe if this had happened in a boat? She wasn’t sure but she assumed that if the man survived he would had least be immensely relieved to keep his manhood intact.  
She moved lower even and made sure to cover the stranger’s legs with the paste, careful of the gashes that seemed abundant there and gently working on the severely sprung ankle, before finishing off with his feet. Korra then proceeded to pick up the ends of the bandages from under him and wrap them around his body, securing them in place. It was a long tedious job and by the time she finished the sun was half way up the sky but she was satisfied with the outcome.  
After bundling him up, wrapped in her blanket, Korra exited the cave. Naga was waiting patiently.  
“Good morning. We have work to do, girl.” Korra spoke tiredly but petted Naga’s furry ears and nuzzled her reassuringly warm fur despite the heat of the spring afternoon.  
Luckily, Korra and Naga were used to travelling together and were a good team. So while Naga frolicked around in the water, catching fish and squids with fast swings of her huge deft paws, Korra set out to hunt for supplies and firewood. It wasn’t such a hard task, the beach was quite rich in edible seaweeds and in the nearby forests she found wild carrots, edible berries, large bread-fruits and even honey, though that took a long time and some gentle smoke work on the scorpion-bees to harvest a decent amount. She thanked the spirits that it was spring! She also found healing herbs and other compounds she would need to make compresses for her wounded patient.  
She settled everything on the beach, where Naga had already pilled a decent amount of fish and squid that would feed them for a couple of days. She whistled for the polar bear dog to join her and they headed back to the forest to gather firewood which was a task in which Naga was essential to carry the load.  
By sunset Korra was back in cave, she had fed Naga and improved her shelter, she had stored all the food and reserves in the cave, she had piled the firewood and kept the fire running to keep the man warm, she had roasted seaweed, fish and squid and had herself a decent meal. Now she was making a rich seaweed and carrot broth that, after cooling somewhat, she proceeded to slowly bend into the patients mouth, trying to coach his unconscious body to accept the nourishment. It was a daunting and lengthy task and half of the broth was lost but she succeed in feeding him a little, just enough to keep his body running without turning his stomach after what had probably been a long period of starvation.  
The moon was high in the sky by the time she finished and cleaned up and by then the Avatar was running on fumes, doing her tasks automatically with leaded limbs and her mind practically dozing in and out of consciousness. It felt like she hadn’t slept in years, though it was just about forty hours, albeit forty hours with anxiety, heavy work and exhausting amounts of bending. She wrapped herself in the shaggy spare blanket she carried and cuddled not far from the bright embers of the fire, and before she could even set her head on the makeshift pillow that was her satchel, she had blacked out.


	3. Days

There are bodies, warm heated bodies undulating together like a mass of dark heated limbs. There are moans and groans echoing the air, not of pain but of desire. There is heat and sweat and hurt and pleasure. There is passion.  
Korra awoke with a start, looking around her.  
«Where am I?» She thought looking around the cave with its hazy luminescence. «Oh right, the cave…» She yawned, closing her eyes momentarily. The dream still seemed seared to her brain, making her palms sweat and her body tingle. After all the stress of late, she had no idea why she would dream of such inappropriate things…But something felt off, she always dreamt in first person, this dream had been as if she were someone else watching Avatar Korra in the throes of passion with some stranger, it felt slightly foreboding and scary.  
She blinked rapidly, shaking the image and siting up groggily. Her body felt heavy with sleep and sluggish, her limbs even felt a little bruised from the hard floor and what felt like many hours of sleep. She rubbed her eyes and looked up and out the hole in the cave top- by the position of the sun she estimated if was midafternoon and for the first time thought that she should have brought a watch.  
She got up stretching and moving to return circulation to her lazy body and secretly trying to buy time and delay checking on her patient, but she headed towards the bundle wrapped in her best blanket anyway, steeling herself.  
«Please be alive. Please breathe. Please show that you made it through the night.» She chanted in her head like a prayer.  
He was alive. Breathing with a heavy wheeze but very much alive. For a moment she felt guilty that she had slept so late and neglected him, but she decided that if she had not rested she might be too tired to properly tend to him anyway.  
Korra washed at the pond then bent some water to try and coach into the patient’s mouth, slowly and patiently. He seemed to accept it more easily this time. She then began unwrapping bandages to check on his condition and was pleased that nothing seemed to have worsened and the ointment was working on the burns. But he was burning up.  
In a way she was surprised the fever been there from the start, but she supposed it had and had simply died out when his body became so far gone that it could not even muster the strength for that, but now he had a raging fever, it was good that his body was fighting for survival again but she feared he might die or suffer more terrible damage if the fever kept rising and the burns would not help control the temperature at all.  
Once again the Avatar bent a large amount of pond water into a glowing humming mass and began cleaning the wounds and healing while attempting to cool the patient off this time, promising not to exhaust herself again so that she would have energy to wash bandages, bandage him again, feed him, cook and eat as well, feed and brush Naga, give him water every hour and start working on pomades and compresses.  
And so her daily routine began.  
~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~  
Darkness. It was so dark. How could it be so dark? Where was he?  
He could tell he was no longer in the water, he could tell a long time had passed, but where was he? It was warm, so warm, but so dark.  
«Am I finally dead? Is this darkness my punishment?» He thought.  
“…almost done.” A gentle voice echoed in the distance, in the darkness.  
«Is that another lost soul? No, no it’s too sweet…It’s a good Spirit…» He thought feverishly.  
He soon realized that there wasn’t really darkness- he just couldn’t open his eyes. He did not know if they were swollen shut or if he simply couldn’t muster the strength to open them but he was slowly recovering sensation over all his body.  
«I’m not dead then. This is far too painful to be death.» He wanted to move, he needed to thrash in agony and scream but he couldn’t, he felt like a prisoner in his own body- too weak and too broken to move or open his eyes or fully awaken.  
Out of the blue someone was pouring small trickles of water into his mouth. He realized he was thirsty, his lips and tongue were parched, he needed that cool sweet caress of water, but swallowing required too much strength for his poor body, still he slowly managed to get his throat to contract and take the liquid, focusing all his attention on the water and not on the pain.  
More water came along with feathery touch of hands of his skin. It was so painful to be touched, so agonizing, but he craved it. He didn’t know why but he needed it, needed to know he was alive, needed to know his body could be touched, needed to know someone was helping him.  
The touch and odd pungent smell that began to invade his senses brought an image of his poor mother tending to him as a sick child fluttering to his mind- the way she would hold him and caress his hair, the way she would make him sleep with his brother so they could both stay warm under the deep blue covers, the way she would feed him broth and rub blubber on his chest with those cerulean eyes full of worry.  
«I haven’t thought of her in…years.» He felt his throat constrict against his will and was sure that if he was stronger physically he would have been shedding a tear. He missed her, he had missed her all those years after he left. He had missed his brother too, even though he was still so full of disappointment and anger that Tarrlok hadn’t joined him, he had still left mostly for his brother’s sake, even knowing nobody would ever see it that way.  
«I should be dead. Why am I here? Why? Tarrlok sacrificed himself so we would die together and yet I’m alive. Why can’t just die?!» Now that the thought of his brother was back in his mind he felt the guilt seep in and knew that if he had been able to he would be screaming.  
In the midst of those anguished thoughts, he felt his consciousness fading again, hoping with all hope that at least he wouldn’t dream. He had no such luck.  
~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~  
“It will be just like the good old days.” The sad voice reached him as the wind caressed his face.  
He heard the little rustle and clicking of the glove being put on, it did not surprise him, after all he had deliberately given the other man access to the weapons. He heard the slight rattle of the gas tank plug being unscrewed, he heard the buzz as the glove became active…And he shed a tear, both in sadness and guilt as well as acceptance and relief.  
He deserved this, and he deserved that his brother was the one to do it. He had tried to save him before with his desertion only to be forced to destroy him later with his return, he was poison. How could his noble goals have become so sullied and destructive? But Tarrlok was a plague too. They deserved it for what they had done, for how corrupted they had become when they had started out trying to be the exact opposite. Their father had cursed them both, his hatred had shaped them and his blood had led them astray; his blood, their blood, needed to be cleansed from the world.  
In a split second, everything was engulfed in flame, it blinded him and deafened him, the explosion nearly swallowing him whole. But his cursed bending had instinctively kicked in and protected him, his survival instincts made him bend the water and buckle over as the blast sent him flying with the shrapnel.  
«Why didn’t you die?! Why?» Tarrlok’s voice echoed in his mind over and over and over.  
He woke with a start –there were hands rubbing something cold on his skin. Even that light delicate touch was excruciating but somehow soothing as well. It made no sense.  
He could feel every inch of his skin burning, he could feel the throb of his broken fingers and cracked ribs, to breathe was to bring agonizing pain to his chest, all the different types of suffering just blended fuzzily all over him. Overall it was a nightmare, but a cathartic one for his guilt ridden soul. And yet his mind was clearer than it had been in…how long at it been since the explosion?  
The soft hands were now wrapping something around him. Bandages, he realized after a few seconds. He felt himself shiver as something icy caressed his forehead and cheeks, cooling off his heated flesh.  
«Someone found me. Someone actually saved my wretched life and has taken on the grueling time-consuming task of tending to my broken body…» The realization hit him like a slap. Somehow between the several times he had wavered in and out of consciousness he had noticed this but only now was he lucid enough to truly think about it. He didn’t know if he was grateful to the person who saved him or if he resented the help, just as much as he didn’t know if he wanted to live to make amends or die as he should have and just end the agony.  
The person was talking, he couldn’t quite make out the mumbling words but he realized it was a woman.  
He tried to open his eyes, more out of curiosity about his savior than out of any wish to become more conscious of his surroundings. It took a while, but soon his heavy lids began to flutter and opened slowly and carefully, blinking against the hazy light.  
Korra was mumbling to herself, annoyed by the increasing amount of disturbingly inappropriate dreams and resenting the lack of more and better bandages. She didn’t really need to focus on the bandaging anymore, she had done it so many times in last couple of weeks that it had become automatic, but she desperately wanted to find fresh bandages and with the days getting warmer she was seriously considering ripping up her timeworn spare blanket to make some.  
A little movement caught her eye and she looked at the patient’s face. His eyes were open, staring at her with alarm.  
“Oh Spirits! You’re awake!” Korra didn’t even notice she had jumped with shock and her heart was pounding against her ribs. She soon composed herself and a broad smile cracked the worried mask of her face. “Welcome to land of the living, sleepy-head.”  
The man shuddered hard, apparently trying to move but managing only to twitch his fingers.  
He was distressed and his body wanted to instantly go into defense position but he couldn’t move- his strength betrayed him. Why, oh why, of all people in the world, did he have to be found by her?  
“Hush, rest. You must be very confused. I’m Korra, I found you on the beach, you were dying. That was over two weeks ago. I haven’t been able to leave your side long enough to get help, we are far from any human settlement, so I have been tending to you. You healed considerably but you still have occasional bouts of fever and your body is stiff, not to mention you need proper nourishment before you are strong enough to move and your burns still have much healing to do.” She recited all this patiently, holding his face with care so he would focus on her while she held his gaze, not sure if he could comprehend her. “Do you understand?”  
She felt more than saw him nod lightly and sluggishly.  
“Good. You’re lucky I had a great master in terms of healing arts.” Korra winked reassuringly, feeling a twinge of longing to see Katara again, and finished up with his bandages, before grabbing some water.  
She lifted the man’s head and fed him the liquid. He drank eagerly, though slowly with weak gulps and she took that time to study his now open eyes. They were turquoise blue. He was Water Tribe then, not just over tanned and burned by many days at sea under the spring sun.  
“Do you remember what happened? Do you know your name?” She asked softly.  
He stopped drinking for a moment, nearly spluttering. Did she not recognize him? At first he thought she was testing him to see if he remembered who he was and what he had done, but he soon realized she really did not recognize him at all, then again why would she? He had made sure nobody would notice that he had left by boat with Tarrlok, he had made sure that people thought he would escape west towards smaller settlements to hide, even his equalist comrades thought he had hideouts that way, but in the end had gone east towards nothing in particular instead, so washing out at this beach wouldn’t have seem possible to anyone. It was likely that nobody knew about the explosion anyway, but how could she seriously not recognize him? She had seen his face disguised as a burn victim as well as clean and normal, so why didn’t she know who he was? His face must have been burned worse than he thought…Oh, the IRONY!  
For a moment he actually chuckled bitterly at the irony of it all, of how his lie became a truth he would live with until he died, it caused him to choke a little on the water. She moved it away and looked at him worriedly. She still expected an answer but he did not know how to answer even if he knew what to answer.  
“Do you remember your name?” She asked again, looking into his eyes.  
He stared at her…Then shook his head softly.  
Korra sighed. She had hoped he would remember everything; after all he had no serious head injury to indicate amnesia. So she could only assume that either the explosion was so traumatizing that it had made him forget, or he simply didn’t want her to know who he was.  
“Well, I need a name to call you. I can’t just call you dude all the time.” She looked at him, grinning to hide her disappointment. “Any ideas?”  
He shook his head, unable and unwilling to talk.  
She looked at him for a while, thinking of a name. He was Water Tribe, so a Water Tribe name would be appropriate. But the only name that came to her mind left a bitter taste in her mouth, because the only name she could remember for a Water Tribe man with a burned and scarred face was «Noatak» and that name certainly wouldn’t do. She didn’t want to be reminded of Amon while she tried to help this man.  
For a long time she had feared Amon, and then hated him, and then feared and hated him; but in the end, after he was gone and she had had time to think about it (and she had had lots of time in the last couple of weeks), she realized she no longer hated him that much, she still feared not him but his bloodbending but she no longer hated him specifically, she pitied him for his past and how his father’s hatred had shaped him and she disagreed with his methods, she was angry at many of the things she had done to the people, the city, to her and even to her friends, but she understood him- he hadn’t really meant any harm at the start, just the opposite, he wanted equality and he wanted to eliminate what he saw as the source of all the pain and tyranny in his life- bending. But in the end he was tainted, using the very bending he hated and losing sight of his goals as his taste for power grew. She could understand, she didn’t agree or condone but she didn’t want to judge either. In a way she also thought that Tarrlok was far too similar, and as much as she had grown to despise him, she also tried to understand, but one thing didn’t change- Tarrlok had been completely corrupted into a monster, changing his goals for the sake of self-gain and even though he was repentant in the end and had tried to help, she still could not forgive him, Amon on the other hand had always stuck to his beliefs, it was his methods that had become questionable and the pressure of his cause and supporters that made him ruthless and cruel.  
She realized she had been staring at the man lost in her recurrent thoughts while he watched her. She never would have imagined that she’d ever be able to have such deep, unbiased, philosophical thoughts, but her lonely days tending to her anonymous patient had certainly given time and chance to develop such opinions and keep from going crazy with boredom. Hell, it had even given her time to meditate.  
There was something expectant and almost indolent in the man’s eyes as he watched her think but she couldn’t quite put her finger on why it made her uncomfortable.  
“Tonraq. It’s my father’s name, but it will do until you remember your own. I’m sure he won’t mind you borrowing it.” Korra smiled again, trying to lighten her own mood and chase away the unhappy thoughts.  
He stared at her, testing the name in his mind. «Tonraq. Yes, I can live with that name if she wants me too. I can hide behind that…» He cut his own thought short and sighed. «Not hide, never hide, never again. I can live with that name if she wants me to because I owe her everything.» He swallowed convulsively; feeling distressed again but, somehow, he felt he had just found a reason to live- to redeem himself. Though in whose eyes, he didn’t know.


	4. Path to Recovery

Humans are funny creatures. They can be frail enough to die of trivial things like heartbreak and loneliness, however, they can also be strong enough to beat Death itself with sheer strength of will. The can also be stupid enough to sacrifice themselves for foolish things like pride or ethics.

Amon…Noatak…Tonraq…He no longer knew what to call himself, so he settled with Tonraq, he figured he might as well get used to the name and cling to it until he ultimately had to shed it. So he began thinking of himself not as _Amon_ \- the great and formidable masked hero of an equalist resistance; not as _Amon_ \- a lying, fearsome, power corrupted terrorist and rebel; not as _Noatak_ \- the brilliant bloodbender, the heir of a terrible curse and burden that were his father’s teachings and the man who destroyed his own brother; not as _Noatak_ \- the boy who tried to escape his own blood’s calling and save his brother and world from the curse that he thought was bending; but as _Tonraq_ \- the broken castaway with a sinful past and bloody hands that wanted only to move forward and live, make a amends and simply change.

It was that resolve that gave him the strength to live and recover. After the blast, he had drifted at sea with a piece of the speedboat; he wanted to die as he should have, he wanted to accept the sentence his brother has decided for him, he didn’t think he deserved to be alive and the pain of his injuries was far too agonizing. But the fever took over soon and all his instincts yelled for him to fight for survival, so he had fed on what he could get in that state which was only seaweed, he tried to stay lucid enough to drink only rain water and not the salty mass around him, he had wanted to bend the water and travel with it to land, but to want and to be able are very different things- his body was damaged beyond repair, he could barely move at all and drifting for days at sea did not help, not to mention the fever made any sort of psychic bending impossible. Eventually he finally fell into a realm of unconsciousness and his body flowed with waves held up only by a scrappy piece of wood, until apparently he had been washed up at some nameless beach to be found and saved from the brink of extinction by his greatest nemesis.

It took him a while to even accept that she was saving him, much less accept that he wanted to be saved, that he wanted to live. It was hard because as much as he wanted to die, from both the pain and the guilt, he also began to realize he wanted to live for so many reasons- he felt he didn’t deserve death, it was too easy an escape for him and therefore he must live with those scars; wanted to atone for himself; he wanted to prove his father wrong and be a decent man; he wanted to honor his brother’s memory; but most of all he didn’t want her grueling efforts to be wasted.

The first time Avatar Korra tried to water-heal the man (who she now called Tonraq) since he had awakened had turned out to be a catastrophe. The sight of her glowing hands the glowing mass of water healing his body had visibly disturbed him and she found herself dealing with a very agitated patient. He had moved then for the first time, unfortunately it was to thrash as much as his weakened body could against her healing efforts, he had even tried to yell and protest but the sounds that exited his parched and long unused throat were mere feeble groans. They were feeble and weak movements and protests but it had been enough to undo many days of healing efforts.

So Korra stopped and ended up wasting hours tending to him the hard way, with pomades and teas and new bandages ripped from an old blanket.

That had been stupid pride and unreasonable fear from his side. He had hated bending so much to the point of denying his own existed so it was no wonder he had always consciously ignored the positive aspects of bending such as healing, but it was still against his code of honor to accept bending to be used to save him, not to mention he still felt wary against any waterbending thanks to the lessons of his childhood.

However, after a week of agony and fevers, Korra could take no more and slowly coached him into accepting her healing efforts. She stated that he should either accept it without struggling or she would knock him out and do it anyway, for if she didn’t he would just get worse and undo all her hard work, and she was not willing to let that work go to waste by letting him die.

She seemed to be under the impression that he feared her bending. Maybe partially she was right but that was not the reason he refused it. Yet, during that week of horrible pain he had been acutely conscious, the agony would not let him sleep, even through the fevers he was awake, and all that time he saw her growing thinner and more exhausted, never giving up on him and he felt miserable to say the least. By the end of the week he gave in at last, feeling like a hypocrite and swarmed with even more guilt, yet he consciously made the decision to try harder to get better.

Another gigantic wave of unease had come with an issue that made them both incredibly uncomfortable. While he was unconscious, she had kept him hydrated and tended to his private needs clinically without thinking after some initial awkwardness, but now that he was conscious and yet still unable to move they had to face the challenge of how to deal with certain physical functions and necessary tasks, namely waste, bathing, and intimate bandaging. It had been embarrassing for Korra to no end, but she played it off as a casual necessity, never letting her smile falter.

For _Tonraq_ , on the other hand, it had been the most humiliating and humbling experience of his life. He felt helpless like a child or an old man, mortified to have to depend on her help for even the most base necessities, shamed that she had to impose such tasks on herself for his sake, and most of all humbled by her benevolence, her kindness and willingness to help with no disgust or hesitation, though he suspected that internally she must be cringing and just as embarrassed but it was still amazing that she had no arrogance or superior air during those tasks given that she was one of the most powerful human beings alive.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

Back when he was still Amon he had always seen the Avatar as a target, as the Queen on the chest board, the spearhead warrior for the enemy front; he had always been able to see her as a figurehead of power, as a symbol of bender oppression. It was easy to depersonalize her inhuman, to forget she was just a girl even when he had her in front of him, because he clung to his beliefs, to his goals, to what he felt was higher moral ground, and he saw himself not as a man but as a role, as a symbol as well that had to lead thousands and therefore could not be troubled with personal opinions. In those conditions it was easy to be the Avatar’s enemy, it was easy to fight and hate.

Being one single man with nothing to lead or be led by and hovering on the brink of death was a whole different story.

When he had to be vulnerable, weak and aware of how so very human he was, it was not as easy to stay impartial or to look away and follow principles and ethics. When he had to depend on the very thing he had advocated against for survival, it was easy to see the hypocrisy in his own existence. But most of all, when he had the very nemesis, the chess Queen, the symbol, standing before him and sacrificing herself and her time to care for him, when she was right there making him out to be her life for the time being, it was hard to hate, it was hard not see how very human she was, not just by her stubborn determination to heal him but also by the little things- the way she sighed when he wasn’t improving as fast as she hoped, the way she grew thinner when she forgot to eat simply to care for him, the way her sleep was restless at night and her meditation hours frustrated her, the way she smiled as she bandaged him up,  the way she told silly stories and discussed sports as she tried to feed him, the way she talked of her loved ones when they both felt lonely, the naïve views she voiced, the somber and almost nervous tone of her voice when she shared with him news of the war and what had happened after.

It was all too much for him to bear. He wanted to hate her but at the same time he wanted to forget who she was and just be grateful. But after many, many, _many_ hours unable to do anything but think he began to believe that hating Korra just because of _who_ she was and not _what_ and _how_ she was had been a terribly stupid way of thinking, and stupidity was something he did not care for and never would.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

“It’s time to move, Tonraq.” Korra’s head popped up over his face beaming despite the dark hollows under her eyes.

He groaned, rolling his eyes in frustration.

“Oh, don’t be like that. It’s not so bad and you know it.” She grinned, cracking her knuckles.

The idea of how to get him moving again had come to her as she managed to finish stitching together something resembling clothing for him but that really was just her snow coat and a rain cloak recycled into a pair of weakly sown pants and an improvised vest plus some extra bandages for the more resistant wounds.

She had been forcing him to do this for days. She would guide his limbs and force them to flex and move slowly, over and over again. It was painful and very hard, but he was grateful- he knew he would not have the strength and force of will to do it alone and he knew that thanks to this he would soon be able to move on his own, a little bit at the time.

She assumed he had been a strong nimble man before his “accident” and that strength and athleticism would most definitely help in the healing process.

She always started with his hands, flexing his good fingers, and gingerly testing the wounded ones. She would then move to the rest of his arms, rhythmically rotating his wrists, bending at his elbows and rising his arms, flexing and stretching in repeated motions; after that where the legs that followed a similar treatment as the arms and were then proceeded by his neck, waist and hips in bending and rotating motions, finishing with raising his torso, forcing him to sit and stretch into several positions. Every day the routing got a little more intense with a little less help from her, but every day it took at least three hours, and by the time it was over, they were both exhausted.

After those efforts came food. She managed to get him to eat more easily now though she still restricted him to a daily repetition of medicinal teas, broths, soups, small amounts of fish and mashed fruit, but she was pleased by his increasing appetite as a good sign of recovery.

“Soon enough we’ll be sharing a bowl of noodles and some meat skewers.” She liked to joke while feeding him and for some odd reason it brought a tug to his lips, almost a smile.

After the food, came the dreaded water-healing. Physically it was soothing and necessary but psychologically he still felt reluctance towards it, but he accepted it. It was a blessing and he would not squander it again.

Every day she tried to coach him to talk, she would give him water and help him sit up as he improved and would ask him questions and egg him on for a reply. And every day he would refuse to talk. She knew there was nothing wrong with his throat except the fact that his voice hadn’t been used in so long but for some reason he continued to refuse to talk and it made her wonder why.

He knew she probably felt offended that would not talk, but the truth was he feared she would recognize his voice. After all, he had a very distinctive baritone that he knew had haunted her nightmares many times, he made sure of that, and he did not wish for her to find out who he was like this. He knew eventually he would have to let her discover his identity but not like that.

Secretly he dreaded the day she would discover who he was. Every time he woke up he feared he might had spoken in his sleep in one of his many nightmares, and every time he was assaulted by that thought he panicked that she would know him and leave him there to die. It wasn’t the _left for dead_ part that troubled him, it was that _she_ would leave him all alone that really made him hyperventilate.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

Finally, one day as he felt strong enough to eat by himself, he decided he needed to speak. He was training his hands into properly holding a spoon and bowl so he could eat his soup by himself and he watched her grind something into a new burn ointment, completely forgetting her food once again.

“Ple…Please eat.” He cleared his throat after crowing out the words dryly.

Korra dropped her work and jumped in surprise. Then she looked at him in awe and shock, the thoughts of why he chose to talk now racing through her mind. Suddenly she was running up to him like an excited little girl with a grin and gleam in her eyes.

“You talked! You really talked!” She slapped his arm playfully, not really touching him, just passing on the feeling through the gesture. “Say it again.”

“E-eat.” He choked out, beckoning at her food.

“Aww, are you worried about me?” She grinned and sat back grabbing her bowl and he watched her chew into a piece of roasted squid, with no lady like elegance whatsoever as she waited for his next words.

“…” He did not want to reply that yes, he had indeed been worried. She always feed him, she always left several times a day to feed the polar bear dog that she told him was sheltered outside, but she often neglected her food for work, even though he knew eating gave her some sort of childish pleasure.

In the end he simply decided to casually ask a question.

“H-How long…have we…be-en h-here?” He croaked out the words, stumbling on them with his raspy disused voice as he aimed for a lighter pitch, trying to hide his real voice and hoping with all his might that he wouldn’t be recognized.

The Avatar smiled excited and immediately handed him some water to drink. He accepted the water and looked at her, puzzled by her excitement but sighed and resigned himself to it, counting his blessings that at least she had not recognized him. “I asked…How long have we…been here?”

Korra looked at him for a moment, somewhat baffled. She then counted the days in her head before settling on a close estimate.

“I wasn’t really counting but it’s been around six weeks since I found you, give or take a few days.” She looked thoughtful. “You know, it could very well had taken six months to get you this well rather than six weeks, if it were not for my excellent water-healing.” She smirked a little arrogantly.

He raised the remains of a scorched eyebrow at her, noting somewhat distantly that he could once again engender facial expressions because thanks to her efforts all the swelling had gone down.

But six weeks…SIX WEEKS being completely dependent on the Avatar and with several more most likely to come. It felt completely surreal to him.

“Why…?” He murmured raspily.

“Hm? Why what?” She seemed baffled in that distracted way of hers.

“Why…Why were you the one…?” He coughed, almost retching up the water he had just drunk.

“The one…? The one to find you, you mean?” She was patting his back helping him drink up some more water as she spoke.

He nodded lightly between mouthfuls of the cool liquid, still coughing lightly and staring her with his deep piercing blue gaze.

“That…That’s a long story, Tonraq. Wouldn’t wanna bore you.” She shrugged.

He gave her a flat look and raised his weakened hand, slowly waving it around the cave in a gesture obvious sarcasm.

“Oh good…Because I have…so much to entertain me already.” He choked up again on croaky words, clearing his throat and drinking some more water, though he seemed to be recovering his vocal skills slowly.

She laughed. It wasn’t the delicate chuckle of a lady but an honest boisterous laugh that actually touched something inside him. He had never know the Avatar could laugh like that, or better yet, he had never let himself think of her as human enough to laugh, it was almost more surreal than the idea of having spent six weeks alone with her.

“Ok, ok I get it. I’ll tell you the story. But in return you have to promise to no clam up on me again, okay?” She was still beaming with delight.

“Alright.” He nodded, not taking his eyes off hers, noting how easily such small simple things like his speech could make her so happy.

Korra sat back against the wall, abandoning her lunch and placing her hands being her head as she thought of where to start.

“Ok, so…I’m the Avatar.” She was pretty straightforward and just waited for his reaction.

He didn’t move or react. Of course he knew who she was, but he thought that even if he had been a stranger to her he could still had gleaned her identity by the stories and information she gave him in all their time alone together and she probably knew that so there was no need to pretend surprise.

“And what has brought…the Avatar this far…from the city…in times like these…?” He spoke the words between bouts of coughing, still careful to hide his natural tone of voice but looking into his water cup rather than at her.

Korra had expected something. Surprise or denial, maybe even mockery, but then again she just wanted it to be said out loud, she knew she had dropped plenty identity clues for him to figure it out himself even if he hadn’t known who she was already.

“I was away from the city exactly _because_ of times like these. And I was guided here to this place.” With that said, she promptly began to explain how she had felt and how she had asked for guidance only to be led to him. She left out the details of what matters had led to her emotional and mental turmoil but dwelled well into the matter how she was directed to the beach and compelled to save him.

And he merely listened. Not another word left his lips that day.


	5. Unexpected Feelings

It was ten days after revealing to him that she had been led to save him by higher forces, that Korra decided she needed to approach a delicate subject. They had talked since that day, it was hard to get him to open up about anything but she pushed him, being the overly outgoing person she was, and she kept reminding him of his promise not to stop talking completely again so she had managed to coach him into speaking, though only of trivialities like their favorite foods, their childhood games, the complaints and arguments during the healing and exercising sessions and so on. But now she needed to address something else.

He was sitting up on his own and eating. His meal was simply roasted fish and roasted sweet potatoes that she had scuffled up somewhere, but being able to do that simple task unassisted was rewarding enough on its own. He had been fighting to recover what little independence from her he could and his strength of will had paid off- he could now move somewhat without help, he could sit up, he could eat, he could tend to his private necessities. But he tired fast, it wasn’t only the stiff muscles from being bedridden so long, it was also the intense torture of the burned skin that refused to recover any elasticity and would chap and irritate easily.

“Hey, you’re much better. I think that if we plan things right and move slowly on Naga with regular pauses we might be able to get back to civilization and get you to a proper hospital.” She grinned at what she thought was a brilliant plan.

He froze, quite stunned and dropped all he was holding, causing a spill of water and food all over the ground and forcing her to rush forward to help him clean up.

_Tonraq_ stared at her as she cleaned up, swallowing slowly and audibly.

He had of course considered that she would want to leave eventually; it was stupid not to consider it, many people were probably worried that the Avatar had disappeared for two months without any news, but he also knew she wouldn’t leave a job half done and simply leave him there, but it had never crossed his mind that she was making plans so soon.

It stung him. He understood her point of view but the realization was like a knife in the gut, well perhaps not, the little gnawing knowledge had been there for a long time now but it still hurt and the most frustrating part was that he didn’t even know why.

Before the man knew what he was doing, he found himself lying to both of them.

“I…I will not return to the city, I can not. However, the Avatar has responsibilities, you may leave, I am able to fend for myself now.” He did not look at her, all he said was true but it was a deception and he knew she would take the bait. It made him feel repellent for manipulating her with his weakness but once a strategist, always a strategist.

“Tonraq! Don’t say that, I’d never leave you behind, not after all the work to save you. Besides, you’d be in much more capable hands there.”

“No! Avatar Korra, I understand that you feel some higher force has guided you to save me for some indefinite reason but if there is one thing I will not do is return to the Republic City!” He snarled, feeling his temper rise but still attempting to keep his cool.

“There are no more possible human settlements around for at least another three weeks travel, even if I did know the way to any of them! The city is the only place I can take you to, stop being so stubborn.” She was standing in front of him, raising her voice in frustration.

“I said NO! Just go if you are so tired of treating a useless castaway!” He was rising to his feet, standing with as much dignity as he could while grasping the rock wall for support, but his carefully controlled voice did not rise a single octave.

“That’s not the problem! You can’t stay here forever. I’m doing what I feel is best.”

“Because, obviously, you always know best.” The sarcasm dripped from his words like venom.

“What is that supposed to mean?” She was now yelling with frustration.

“Figure it out, oh mighty Avatar.”

“What? Look, this not about me, you are being ridiculous!”

“And you are being a stubborn little girl.”

“Shut up! I didn’t save you just to leave you here.”

“Oh yes, you still want your precious answers, your precious guidance. Well, I’m afraid you have wasted your valuable time Avatar, for I have no answers for the likes of you.”

“That’s not…Who do think…We’re going whether you like it or not!”

“Haven’t you humiliated me enough?! You might as well have left me to rot on the beach because I will not go.” This time his voice was raised, just before he collapsed with a hiss of pain.

Korra instinctively reached to help despite still being beyond angry, but he shoved her hands away and crawled back to his resting spot refusing to even look her way. She felt as if she had been slapped right in the face, oblivious that her mouth was agape as she tried to forms words that would not come in the midst of her frustration.

And so their first fight in that cave ended, and unable to react further, the Avatar just left out through the cave opening without a word. She marched angrily on to beach, kicking sand and muttering with frustration as the tide rose to lick her bare feet under the glorious afternoon sun.

Just who did he think he was? She would never, _ever_ , leave her charge behind. Who cares about politics, she was responsible for him, she wouldn’t abandon him, why couldn’t he just see it was for his own good that she did everything she did? Why must he be so stubborn? What was so wrong about the city that he could not return?

“ It’s not like anyone will recognize your frigging roasted face, you moron!” She yelled to nothing in particular, making Naga come running to her alarmed.

She patted the polar bear dog’s head, reassuring the beast, but she was seething inside. Here she was sacrificing herself for an asshole who wouldn’t even tell her his real name and he was making this out to be her fault? As if she was such a bad person for wanting to leave? She didn’t plan on abandoning him, so why was he so difficult?!

“Why did it have to be me to save this idiot? Why did you give me this stupid task? Why? What reason? Why can’t you just be clear, damn it!” She screamed up to the pure blue sky, directing her frustrations at the Spirits, or whoever had guided her.

When no answer came, she sighed feeling her mind go around in circles with the same frustrations as usual. But now that the anger was fading she felt shame and hurt.

«Does he believe I’d abandon him? That I’m tired of him? Does he really think I humiliate him? Maybe I did…Yes, I think so but not on purpose!» His words had stung worse than a horde of scorpion-bees and she realized she was now sitting on the sand with her knees pulled up to her chest and her face buried in them.

Korra didn’t want to cry, she didn’t feel she had that need and she didn’t feel the matter was serious enough to make her cry. Yet, the tears were still falling.

It had been so long, so damn long since she had seen any of her loved ones, so long repeating the same hard boring tasks every day, so long fretting for the life of a man that didn’t even trust her with his name, so having to responsible and patient, so long in isolation begging for guidance of the Other World time and time again only to get nothing but inappropriate dreams and a heart full of awkward emotions.

But…Why were they awkward? She tried to analyze her feelings but everything was a seething mass of confusion- she was angry at the stubborn man, she longed to see her friends, she was exhausted and depressed and lonely to no end, she was even more confused that she had been at the start of this whole adventure! Sure, she had had much time to think and many things had become clearer, the political things that involved her own opinions and views on Republic City and the war, even the equalists had become more understandable to her. But all her personal issues, all her Avatar problems were murkier than ever!

She just wanted someone to guide her and tell her what to do, she wanted to not have to figure it out alone anymore, and she missed her friends, she missed Bolin, Asami, Tenzin, Mako…

«When exactly did I start thinking of him as friend and not as…what, a lover?» The thought made her stop sobbing as she tested the word, it seemed ashy and wrong in her mouth and dawned on her that her romantic feelings for him had washed out, she still loved him in some way, she still felt tempted and it was still sweet, but there was…What? What was stronger than what she had with Mako?

Her mind drifted off to the cave and the man sulking inside, it made her head snap up, turning to the left towards the caves and she stopped crying all together.

«What the heck am I thinking?» She shook her head trying to clear her thoughs. «Do I like him? Of course I like him, I’ve been stuck with him for so long that I would have gone crazy by now if I didn’t like him.»

The more she tried to rationalize the more erroneous her thoughts felt. She had pitied him at first but she had also admired his strength and courage, then after he started talking she started to realize how intelligent and charming he was even through trivialities, no, even before he spoke she already could tell how smart and observant he was and how he stared at her with burning eyes when he thought she wouldn’t notice; initially she figured to looks were just the respect of a man who had been saved from death, but that felt wrong too, those gazes showed something more fervent, more determined, more admiring. And there was the way he thrashed at night, the way he whimpered and mumbled in his nightmares, it had all alarmed her but it wasn’t pity she felt at those times, it was the irrevocable desire to help, to see him whole again, to know what his real smile looked like.

«Like hell I’d abandon him. He needs my help.» She spoke to her own mind, trying to justify her emotions to herself, but the truth was that just the thought of never seeing him again, of not knowing if he lived or died was excruciating.

“Ok, enough of this. My head hurts just trying to figure this out.” Korra spoke to Naga, who was lying cuddled behind the Avatar, as if they had been having a deep conversation.

Korra rose, stretching like she had that very first day on the beach, and made a resolution.

“I won’t leave his side as long as he needs me. I won’t overthink this. Let’s just see where this whole thing takes me.” She spoke to Naga once again with one of her usual stubborn smile etching itself on her face as she cracked her knuckles at the new challenge. “Let’s do this.”

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

After the Avatar had left the cave in anger, _Tonraq_ lay on his usual blanket staring at the wall, with mind racing. He had taken a liking to resting on his side in order to not irritate the most serious burn wounds on his back but the position he was in now was not nearly as dignified- he had taken the usual sideways pose only to then curl on himself as if attempting to protect his vitals.

However, he was not thinking about his pained body, in fact he had gotten used to the semi-permanent agony, after all a warrior like him was not to be underestimated. What was truly on his mind was an analysis on why he had acted so rashly and argued so vehemently. Such attitudes were not a natural part of his personality at all, but somehow she stirred instincts in him that were long forgotten.

Why did he not want to leave? Why did he fear being away from her? Why did he lie so much during that fight? He did not want to be left behind, he did not care for what he had once seen as humiliation of having to depend on her and had heard what she screamed from the beach in her frustration and she was right- nobody would recognize him in the city, so he need not worry so much about returning.

So why was it all so hard? Why had he lied?

In a way he didn’t want to fetter her to him, she deserved to go and be free and they were far grander and more important things requiring the Avatar’s intervention, it was absolutely irrational to shackle her down to a single wounded man if she could deliver him to more capable hands. Not to mention that he was her nemesis, the man that had nearly destroyed her and the things she cared most for, how could he possibly have any moral ground to stop her from going?

However, he didn’t want her to go. It’s not that he didn’t want others helping him, it’s that he didn’t want _her_ to leave him. It was the most illogical thing that had ever crossed his mind, after all that time in pain and misery alone with her in that cave he should want nothing more than to be in a proper hospital, with proper doctors and anesthetics, and away from the old enemy, perhaps he could even find some old comrades. But that was not what he wanted, he wanted her and only her and if suffering in that cave was what it took to be close to her, he would endure it, he was selfish enough to do so.

For a moment he wondered if he only felt that way because he had spent so long depending on her that he was foolishly clinging to her out of sheer instinct, that he had been too accustomed to associating her with relief and comfort that it was clouding his real feelings. Yes, that had to be it. But then, why is it that he couldn’t accept his own explanation?

Before he could clear any of his confusion or convince himself of anything else, he felt her return. He didn’t know how long she had been gone but he hoped beyond hope that she would not suggest leaving again.

“Ok. We’ll stay for now but I want something in return.” Korra’s voice was once again jovial and determined and he could only wonder what she had in mind.


	6. The Storm

In the end Korra’s condition had been a simple one- everyday he must tell her something about himself. He thought this suggestion was harmless enough but he soon discovered that the longer they stayed there, the faster he would run out of harmless things to tell and would have to wade into dangerous territory.

He came to this conclusion after another twelve days in the Avatar’s company. She had reinforced the water-healing sessions, determined to get him walking again. That determination had paid off and she decided it was time to let him see the light of day again.

The first time she led him out the cave with help of earthbent steps was a bit of a shock. She hadn’t let him out the cave before fearing that the sand would irritate his wounds, but now that they were mostly sealed and superficially healed she decided to risk it. The sun on his face was the first shock, he had become so accustomed to the semi-darkness of the cave with only glimpses of the sky every once in a while so having the hot light of the sun shine on him in all its glory was blinding and jarring to say the least. The next shock was the open space- the cove was small but it was still so much open air with the whole ocean ahead of them that it overwhelming after so long enclosed. He would never show or admit such weakness but he felt faint just from those first few minutes outside.

Then the polar bear dog rushed up to them trotting and licking Korra’s face, but when the animal turned to him it growled. _Tonraq_ didn’t budge but the creature moved menacingly to him.

“Naga! Hush girl!” Korra barked at the beast, effectively making it back down peacefully.

“I don’t think she appreciates my presen-…” Before he could finish, the polar bear dog moved closer, sniffing him carefully before licking his mostly healed and scarred face.

“Ah ah, I think she does now.” Korra was laughing her rowdy laugh again thanks to his sullen expression.

He shrugged lightly, still careful of his burned back but accepted her arm for support as he felt the sand shift under his feet.

Ultimately it had felt invigorating to be back outside. Those months trapped in the cave had been cathartic emotionally, they had given him time to think and be grateful for all the things he took for granted before, time to make resolutions, time to mourn, even the pain had been therapeutic to work him through all the traumas, guilts and emotions of the past, not to mention all that time had made him see many things in new light, including Avatar Korra.

Yes, all that torturous time had been worth something emotionally, but physically he felt a wreck, he knew he was well on his way to be as recovered as he could be, but now that could move more freely he was starting to feel cabin fever settling in and needed to move.

That first day, as they walked the length of the small two inlets and back, with her arm always supporting him, she asked him for his information of the day.

“So, what will it be today? You know, what detail will you give me today?” She clarified the question when he seemed confused. Truth was he didn’t really show much expression but she had become an expert had understanding even the small flinch of his eyebrows or tiny pause in his breath.

He racked his mind, looking for something inoffensive to tell her but found that he had exhausted all the common trivialities, from his favorite food to his favorite color, from the name of his first pet to the first time he entered Republic City. He couldn’t recall any more information about himself that would slate her curiosity and not give away something vital about his identity.

“What would you wish to know?” He conceded after a while.

“For today? How old are you?” She asked beaming.

He was surprised, he had expected that she would use that opening to ask his real name or about the accident. They had long since abandoned the farce that he did not remember who he was.

“I am…” He paused for a moment considering all the time that had passed since the accident. “Thirty-four years old I suppose.”

“You suppose?” She tilted her head curious.

“I have somewhat lost track of time since… the accident.”

“Right, sorry.” Korra nodded thoughtfully while watching a flock of lizard-gulls fly by.

“Might I ask why you were not inclined to ask my name?” He inquired, looking at her with mild curiosity.

“You wouldn’t tell me. And I figure if you want to tell you will do it eventually so…” She shrugged, but Korra herself noted how uncharacteristically patient she was sounding and she wondered how much the last few months had really changed her.

He did not reply.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~                                       

They kept the beach walk routine for several days until one day they were surprised by Mother Nature.

Summer was already upon them and being Water Tribe, Korra didn’t adapt too well to the heat, she would often grumble and complain about it and spend what free time she managed in water to cool off. But when one morning, clouds invaded the summer sky and lowered the temperature her good mood returned and she demanded that he walk with her earlier than usual.

 _Tonraq_ didn’t mind the heat, he had spent most of his adult life in warmer climates than his native Water Tribe so he was more than used to it even if it did make his scarred skin resent the rising body heat, but it amused him to watch her battle the weather itself. «Some Avatar, she can’t even be at peace with the weather.» He would muse with glee.

Still, he didn’t object to her request that particular day and since it led to an outdoor lunch, he found himself actually enjoying the day- until rain began to pour.

At first he thought she would bolt for the cave or maybe bend the water away, but she surprised him by just looking up and smiling as the rain fell on her face and soaked her clothes.

“I always loved the rain.” She spoke to nobody in particular, answering his curiosity about her behavior. She then looked at him, noticing he hadn’t moved either. “Wanna go back inside?”

“I am comfortable with the rain as well. And it soothes the… scarring.” He didn’t elaborate. He did like the rain, not as much as the snow but he liked it, yet the truth was that he just didn’t want to move because he wished to keep watching her.

Korra rose to her feet spreading her arms and spinning slowly, the rain, her natural element, always gave her peace and made her feel like releasing her inner child. It was soothing to be able to relax that way after so long living under stress, she didn’t even care that he was watching, she just wanted to run under the rain and feel the prickly drip drops of the showering water dancing on her skin.

Before long she was running and practicing waterbending forms. It felt good to be training again, it made her feel relaxed, it reminded her of home and heck it even reminded her of Katara and the way the old master would tell her stories about Team Avatar as they sat watching the rain.

 _Tonraq_ was itching to join her. He had always enjoyed practicing the forms, except of course when his father was around to yell and push; still he liked it, it made him think of the good times playing with Tarrlok as children and it was simply comfortable. However, even if his body proved to be well enough for the exercise he still felt conflicted about his bending, on one hand he wished it was gone so that he would never feel tempted to abuse it again and so that he’d never use his father’s bloodbending, but on the other hand he knew how people became after losing their bending, he had seen it numerous times in the eyes of his victims- they became empty shells of their former selves, as if their very hearts at been crushed to dust, and the few that could handle it, the few that recovered like his father had, became bitter and shallow. He did not wish to become like that no matter how much he felt he deserved it, so for now he convinced himself that the destruction of his body was punishment enough without having to destroy his soul as well.

He resisted the impulse to test his bending on the rain and he resisted the desire to join Korra and merely admired her.

She had become much thinner than her remembered from the times of war but she was still beautifully athletic nonetheless with her well defined muscles and perfect curves that he assumed made many men’s heads turn with lust and many women’s with jealousy. Her hair was much longer but still in the same hairstyle and right now it was pasted to her skin and dripping with the rain. Her dark skin glistened with every sparkling rain drop that slid down her body, her cobalt eyes held both stubborn energy and innocent joy, her clothing clung to her wet body, shifting with the flowing motions of the waterbending forms, revealing even more of her than she probably knew.

He found himself fantasizing about that body, about those curves, that skin and all that energy of hers. It started innocently but before he knew it he was imagining what her perfect body must look under all the clothing and the way she turned and posed sparked images of those elegant limbs wrapped around him, the way her body waved and flowed with the water conjured up images of undulating bodies pressed together in the rain.

Suddenly, _Tonraq_ stood and limped his way back to the cave for shelter. The increasingly heavier rain wasn’t bothering him, it was the fact that suddenly he was having all sorts of inappropriate thoughts about the Avatar that was causing him to berate himself.

«She is half your age. She is your old nemesis. She is the Avatar, for Spirit’s sake!» He told himself over and over again, grasping for rational thought as the guilt and the lust clashed magnificently inside him.

«You are deformed and repulsive and even if that would not repel her in any way, you are a liar and manipulator. She would never want you if she knew the truth about you.» He sighed, at last those words rang deeply enough to quiet his unfitting fantasies, but more than ever he felt miserable and lonely.

At some point Korra noticed that _Tonraq_ had retreated back inside, but she was having too much fun, so she ran the span of both coves with Naga at her heels while she practiced moving forms- kicks and whips and waves of her body that left her panting by the time she landed back in front of the caves. She then walked inside smiling in a way she hadn’t in a long time.

She found him sitting cross legged in a corner, apparently meditating or something of the sort with his eyes closed and his hands on his lap.

She noticed the fire wood was soaked and the opening in the cave roof was letting the rain pour in. Before she even considered what she doing she stomped the ground, dragging her hands upward in an earthbending stance she made a piece of rock poke from the cliff side and roll onto the cave, sealing it away from the rain.

When she turned to him again, he was watching with something that could only be described as conflict in his eyes, he seemed to be having an internal struggled as he looked up at the recently sealed roof.

“Hey, how else will we stay dry?” She shrugged answer an unasked question.

“I was not thinking of that but alright, Avatar.” He watched her intently.

Korra noted there really was no dry wood left, so she settled with making a torch with discarded bandages and plant oils, sparking it alight with her firebending. She then proceeded to try to bend the water off her clothes and succeeded somewhat.

 _Tonraq_ couldn’t help but notice how very dependent she was of the conveniences of bending. He still didn’t know how he should feel about it, know many people could not share in that same convenience, but he found it didn’t really matter at the moment, it was a skill and resource and that’s as far as he wanted to philosophize for now. He also noticed that even his annoyance towards bending had not shadowed his previous dishonorable thoughts about the woman before him.

“So, you ended up not telling me today’s piece of info.” She sat in front of him cheerfully untying her wet hair and combing through it.

He stared at her, at the way her fingers and comb moved amidst the strands of her chestnut hair. It was very distracting but he still managed to think. So far in these days of beach walking she had managed to learned his age, his mother’s name, his birth date, the fact that he had a brother, what age he was when he left his Tribe and his favorite song, not that he knew many.

“So what is it you wish to know this time?” He enquired, unable to look away from her hands on her hair.

“Why do you always call me Avatar instead of Korra? And why do you always talk so formally?” She held hair ties in her mouth as she asked this and was beginning to re-do her usual hairstyle.

“…I do not know.” He replied after a moment. He could have said that he was just being respectful but he really didn’t know. When they were still at war the title was a way to distance himself from her as a human, then when she found him he was simply too uncomfortable and chagrined, but now…At the moment he just felt that if he called her by her name he would be taking a step too far into whatever strange relationship they had.

“Try it.” She mumbled as she removed the last tie from her lips and applied to her hair.

“Try what, if I may enquire?” He raised an eyebrow curiously.

“My name. Call me Korra.” She smirked. “I won’t bite.”

“Why?”

“Just do it, please.”

“Korra.” The name felt like honey on his tongue, or maybe something coarser and more rebellious but equally sweet, like grains of sugar.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” She just wouldn’t cease smirking.

“Indeed it was not, Korra.” Once again the name was a treat to utter and he feared he might become addicted to it. He felt that by saying her name she was no longer the Avatar, she was just…herself, Korra, the girl he had come to like more than he should.

Korra stood up again, she didn’t know how long she had been frolicking in the rain after lunch but she was hungry again. She couldn’t cook without firewood and if she tried using said wet wood, the smoke might just choke them to death, so she settled with boiling tea with her firebending and sharing bread-fruit and berries with him.


	7. Warmth

He was awoken not by his usual nightmares but by a noise, a soft but audible noise- something was clattering, it was an aggravating sound that could be heard well over the pouring rain.

 _Tonraq_ opened his eyes and looked around. The sound came from Korra- her teeth were rattling as she curled up on ground.

He had forgotten that she had ripped up her blanket and spare clothes long ago, not to mention she had used all her extra clothing to improvise garments for him and since she usually made sure he was asleep far before she decided to rest, he had completely forgotten that she now slept on the ground using only her satchel as a pillow, and at the moment without the warmth of a fire and with the summer storm from earlier becoming more and more aggressive and bringing gusts of cold night wind, he realized she must be freezing.

He sat up, determined to do something and feeling somewhat idiotic for having overlooked her sleeping arrangements.

“Korra?” He uttered her name feeling the usually sweetness it left on his tongue.

She looked up slowly trying to not to give away her weakness but shaking visibly.

“Hm? You need something?” Her voice shook a little amidst the clattering teeth.

“Come here.” He lifted the covering half of his blanket beckoning towards the empty spot next to him.

“Excuse me?” She was eyeing him with disbelief.

“You are freezing and I suspect the storm as turned into a typhoon so the night will get colder. Come, don’t be stubborn.” He spoke patiently, like an adult coaching a child and he briefly noticed how accustomed he had gotten to altering his tone of voice.

“I…well, ok.” Korra gave in quickly and moved to the free spot next to him, lying woodenly on her side, still she amazed herself, before she would have stubbornly argued and boasted that she was Water Tribe and used to the cold but to him she had simply given in.

“You may relax, Avatar. I won’t bite.” He used her own bait against her.

Tonraq soon felt her relax so he covered both their bodies with the blanket again and lay on his side as well with his face mere inches from her hair, feeling the scent of rain and the cinnamon oil she used to wash and comb it.

She was silent now but he could still see her shiver with every gust of wind and before he knew what else to do he had his arms instinctively around her body, holding her close enough to share body heat. To his surprise she didn’t object, she merely sighed in relief and curled to his body for warmth while she drifted off to sleep.

For a long time he couldn’t rest, so he simply kept his arms around her, not daring to move an inch while she cuddled to him and he watched her chest rise and fall in slow delicate puffs.

Her eyelids fluttered a little and he wondered what she was dreaming about- was it some unique Avatar dream? Or perhaps she dreamt of home?

For a single unreasonable moment he wished he could make her dream of him. Not the scarred version of him that she had tended to for so long, but the whole version of him, the one she had only once glimpsed after their fight that ended the war. He wished he could make her dream of him as he really was, not the dark revolutionist but the waterbender kid that had once wanted nothing more than fairness and equality, he wanted her to dream of him as he had been in his prime, not as the twisted mass of distorted flesh.

«What good would dreaming do you?» He shook away the thoughts and sighed, settling his chin over her head ever so lightly, taking in the oddly spicy fragrance of her hair.

She shifted a little and rolled. She was still pressed to him but now she faced him and wrapped an arm around his waist sleeping soundly. Her head was slightly tipped to the side exposing her pretty neck so vulnerably.

«So careless. If I were still your enemy I could have slit your throat so easily and you wouldn’t even notice.» He shook his head again, disturbed by his own dark thoughts, but it was not disdain or evil that tainted those thoughts, it was worry. She just looked so very helpless that he couldn’t help but imagine terrible scenarios, and in every scenario he was the evil-doer because he was right there and she was in his grasp. «No, she wouldn’t be so careless if she did not trust me…» He breathed in cool air of the cave, chuckling once again at the irony of his thoughts, and chased away the horrid images and worries that flooded his mind.

He looked at her again, finding that his spirits lifted and he became less inclined to dark thoughts when his gaze was fixed on her. He noted that her lips were slightly parted and he could hear her snore lightly but it was endearing rather than annoying and her cheeks were gaining a slightly rouged tint as she became warmer.

Some time passed as he watched her, he didn’t really know how much, but she soon shifted again. «Restless sleeper.» He thought for a moment, but his thoughts were suddenly taking a dive towards highly inappropriate imagery and the reason was because she was suddenly tangling her legs to his lightly, not to mention the way her torso molded to his making the soft curves of her breasts graze his chest as she nestled her cold nose to the crook of his neck.

 _Tonraq_ blinked and felt his breath catch in his throat. Not sure of what to do in the awkward position and fearing that his body would betray him, he simply felt himself become paralyzed on the spot still with an arm stiffly around her. He swallowed audibly but she didn’t seem willing to move resigning him to simply watching her without moving a muscle.

Korra mumbled something in her sleep as she often did, but as usual he did not comprehend what she was saying. He could, however, see her cheeks grow rosier and she was squirming a little uncomfortably against him. He wondered if perhaps she was cold, so he tucked the blanket closer to her body, but she continued to languidly roll against him, making him acutely aware of every spot she touched, every breath she took, every strand of her hair that caressed his skin, every rustle of the blanket and every soft mumbled groan from her lips as she slept. «What can she possibly be dreaming of?» It all made him notice that his body was responding in ways it hadn’t in years and he considered getting as far away as possible before she noticed. Still, he was paralyzed in place, terrified that he’d wake her if he moved.

«Ah…I see now…» He thought to himself in a daze as he closed his eyes trying not to see the way she pressed to him while his mind resounded with all the thoughts he had had since she had lain next to him. «I have fallen for her, haven’t I?»

He swallowed hard once again at this realization. «This is…unfamiliar to me. What a time to have such a realization.» He scolded himself cynically.

His eyes opened and he looked at her once again- she looked so innocent and so wanton at the same time, hardly like the rowdy tomboy she was when awake. This time he leaned forward, whispered into the shell of her ear.

“I’m sorry Korra… You deserve better but I won’t let you go.” His voice was just a raspy possessive whisper but he saw her shift and turn again as he ignored the dark and selfish images that rose to his mind.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

_Korra is watching herself again. She reaches out for the Korra in front of her but can’t reach her or make her take notice._

_The Korra before her has her hair loose and tossed back as the liquid hazel tresses snake over her naked cinnamon colored back. Her eyes are shut as incomprehensibly obscene sounds are ripped from her lips. The woman’s body, her own body, is mashed to a familiar male form whose large hands hold her close with almost violent possessiveness but rather than objecting she has her hands in his disheveled dark hair mirroring his rough emotions in harsh tugs._

_She notices beads of sweat gliding leisurely from her neck down her back to the curve of her firm naked rear. The flickering light of some weak flame dances over those droplets causing them to shimmer like delicate ornaments emphasizing the lewd curves of her body._

_Korra tries to see the face of the male companion that held her other self but it was buried in her neck and the indolent way they move and ripple together makes it hard to focus on details._

_“I’m sorry, Korra…” A distant growl echoes in her head almost like waves washing ashore. “…I won’t let you go.”_

_She reaches out again, trying to grab the attention of the two bodies while the words still echo in her mind, noticing that the two forms seem perfectly right together but something foreboding, wrong even, hangs in the air, not for them but as a warning to her._

_Korra’s sight begins to swim in a misty golden haze of flame and blurry bodies._

The Avatar’s eyes opened slowly and lazily, the sapphire in them reflecting the vague teal luminescence in the cave. She blinked slowly, vaguely aware of how hot she felt with a soft sheen of sweat forming on her brow.

«Another dream. I don’t understand.» She thought to herself still half asleep, comfortably surrounded by a warm musky fragrance. By the noise that filled her ears she could tell it was still raining, possibly with even more force than before, and the little spring that filled the pond in their cave was gushing like a miniature waterfall from the overflowing rain that choked it from the outside.

She tried to rub her eyes but her left arm was trapped under something and the other was wrapped around something warm. She turned and tilted her head up slightly and slowly and had to swallow down a gasp of surprise.

Korra found herself inches from _Tonraq’s_ face. He was sleeping, but by the dark shadows under his eyes she assumed he had just dozed off. Her arms were around his waist, her legs were tangled with his and her body was cuddled to his, as for him, he had his right arm pillowing her head and his left was wrapped around her shoulders. His skin seemed just as heated as hers and he slept stiffly but not uncomfortably, making her wonder if it was her constant restless sleep that had kept him from resting.

For one scary moment the she thought of how she could have hurt his healing body with her usual nocturnal thrashes, then for an even more panicked instant she wondered if her dreams had shown through in her movements or words. She felt herself blush and decided to try not to think about it too deeply.

Not wanting to wake him and now feeling completely unable to go back to sleep, Korra simply untangled herself from his arms as slowly as humanly possible but she didn’t move away, instead the Avatar simply relaxed with her head now pillowed in her own hand as she examined his sleeping face.

She was happy to see that his face was healed, extremely and completely marked with aggressive scars that would take years to fade in the slightest, but healed nonetheless. There was something familiar about him, something in the shape of his jaw and nose and the distinct but subtle downwards tilt of his eyes…She filed that familiar feeling away though, and focused on what was right before her- when relaxed in sleep he had a uniquely boyish face, as if he became fifteen years younger when he slept, and not even the scarring could distort that.

The lips of his wide mouth had not become permanently twisted or drawn by the burns as she had feared when she first found him and for some reason she just imagined that they would still look quite boyishly sweet if he ever stretched them into a smile. At that moment said lips parted very elusively, letting out a little rush of slow breath while his miraculously unscathed eyelids fluttered, making her smile at how defenseless he looked; it wasn’t the helpless pitiful exposure he had had when he was broken and wounded and depending on her completely, instead it was a trusting relaxed vulnerability of a person without a care in the world. It warmed her heart to know he trusted her enough to sleep that way next to him.

He moved slightly. His hands seemed to be grasping at something that wasn’t there and she realized he was unconsciously reaching for her, so she moved closer letting herself be enfolded in those warm arms until he calmed. But he didn’t stop moving. It was slight and almost imperceptive but she could feel him shake and twitch a little in his sleep.

Korra looked up at his eyes- his lids were fluttering rapidly now and his breath hitched. He was dreaming and whatever the dream was it seemed to disturb him, his peaceful features twisting with some sort of discomfort.

She battled with herself. She wanted to wake from the dream but she also wanted him to rest as it seemed she had kept him awake most of the night. For a brief instant she registered that she didn’t mind that he had been watching her for so long as she slept, in fact rather than feeling like an invasion of her privacy, it made her feel protected.

 _Tonraq_ began moving more visibly and his fingers dug into the back of her neck and shoulder with alarming force. He began to mumble and groan with his face twisted in agony. Korra had had enough. She tried to sit up but his grip was too powerful, so she stuck with trying to softly shake him awake.

“Tonraq? Wake up. It’s just a dream. Wake up.”

It wasn’t working, he had gripped her more tightly and she was sure she would have bruises in the shape of his fingers. He was muttering senseless words and shaking more intensely now.

The Avatar looked up at his face and what she saw there shocked her almost as much as the day she had found him on the beach- a tear was streaming down his rutted and scarred cheek as he slept and he uttered something. A name. A simple name in a voice that made Avatar Korra’s insides turn to spiky shards of ice.

And with that name on his lips he jolted awake, immediately releasing her out of instinct.


	8. Revelation

Korra’s heart was drumming against her ribs as she sat up abruptly. Already there were marks blooming in her cinnamon skin from his intense grip.

He was rising looking confused and panting as he awoke from the nightmare. She noticed how he surreptitiously wiped away the stray tear as he sat straight and looked at her with those intense turquoise eyes. It seemed to register in him that she had woken him from the nightmare and his gaze landed on her marked skin.

“I…I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” He spoke calmly with only a hint of alarm in his drowsy voice and cleared his throat while beckoning at her shoulder and upper arms.

“Huh?” She was dazed and wide eyed, like a fox-antelope freezing in the headlights of a satomobile.

“Did I harm you? I assure you if I did it was not intentional.” He was giving her a wide berth noticing her scared eyes.

“What? Hm, no. It’s nothing. I-I’m gonna go check on Naga.” With that she got up, stumbling on her own feet and rushing out the cave and into the freezing torrential rain.

Naga was fine, of course. Korra had earthbent a rather large rock shelter weeks before and that’s where the Avatar rushed to now and, upon spotting Naga, she curled to her furry companion, clinging to the fur and fighting not to hyperventilate.

“Oh Spirits Naga. I know. I know who he is.” Her words sounded as stunned as her eyes at the sudden realization.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

_Tonraq_ watched the Avatar rush, tripping all over herself, and realized something terrible had just happened.

He spent the night looking at her until exhaustion won over him and he fell into weary sleep. His usual nightmares had haunted his sleep- he dreamt of bloodbending and power that brought insanity and cruelty, he dreamt of the city at war, he dreamt of the panicked broken eyes of his _cleansing_ victims, dreamt of the explosion and most of all he dreamt of Tarrlok.

As he saw his brother’s accusing miserable face being swallowed by flame, he heard her calling. Korra’s voice was like a balm for his soul but when he awoke with a start, shocked to find tears in his eyes, he saw her face. It no longer had the vulnerable peace she possessed when asleep, it was instead filled with panic and she had an expression he had only seen once- when he had ambushed her on Avatar Aang Memorial Island.

Once upon a time, almost in another life, he had taken delight in seeing that fear in her, because he had enjoyed etching dread in that which he always believed was the most powerful thing in the world- the Avatar. Once upon a time, the terror in her eyes had been a victory for him. But now, just the memory of those terrified cobalt eyes of hers made him feel sick to his stomach.

He buried his scarred face in his scarred hands, trying not to dread. Had he said anything in his sleep that had given his identity away? Or maybe he had scared her merely by hurting her? He had seen the marks and assumed he must have had a violently strong grip on her, one that he knew she could have gotten away from had she wished but instead she had stayed and he had scared her.

He found himself on his feet and pacing the length of the cave. The cabin fever was back in double with all the anxiety on his chest but luckily he could move more freely now, with only a slight limp due to his weakened left leg.

After a while he was starting to worry and decided to go look for her but was stunned to find that she had removed the earthbent steps that allowed exit from the cave mouth. He punched the rocky wall with frustration as he watched the rain fall in blinding torrents. The tide was low which made exiting the cave without the steps risky and he really did not wish to use his bending but he was seriously considering trying to waterbend or icebend his way out just to find her. Of course then he would truly be giving himself away.

Then he saw her. She had indeed been in the rocky shelter where she kept the polar bear dog, but now she was just walking in the rain, seemingly lost in thought. Once again he had the urge to go after her but it struck him that if he had given himself away as Amon she would be running for the hills right now, so perhaps she just needed time alone, which is exactly what he gave her.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

Korra walked for hours in the rain, bending the increasingly strong winds out of the way as she immersed herself in her thoughts. After the shock had faded she had tried to think clearly, or as clearly as possible.

When he had spoken the name…«Tarrlok.» She remembered, still feeling his real voice shake her to her core. When he had spoken that name, everything had fallen into place. All the clues she had been denying in the back of her mind had rushed forward and it had all clicked like some perverse puzzle. She knew this man. His voice had haunted her nightmares many nights before. His _grip_ had haunted her too, in ways she dared not admit to anyone for they still made her freeze in terror. This was the man that had nearly destroyed her and all she cared most for.

She had thought that she had come to understand that man, she had almost begun to believe she could forgive him if he truly repented, but when she was faced with this sudden revelation all the old fears, resentments and instincts came rushing back.

But after the panic had faded, after Naga had comforted her with that warm protective and soothing presence of hers, Korra had begun to see everything shift into perspective.

There was simply NO WAY she could see the castaway she had so carefully tended to as the man of her nightmares. There was NO WAY she could fear her _Tonraq_ like she had feared that man. And there was absolutely no frigging way in the world that the sweet, albeit damaged, boyish face she had admired as he slept could be the face of her enemy. She had obstinately gone into denial.

But then again, what if he WAS that man? If he was then why did she have to fear him? If he wanted revenge he had had so many chances…Even as she slept in his arms. If he hated her, why had he offered to share his warmth and the safety of his arms so she could sleep? If he despised her as the Avatar why had he slowly become so accepting of all she did for him with her bending and even asked for stories of the previous Avatar? And if this was that archenemy of hers, then WHY had she been led to save him?

The Avatar’s first reaction to those thoughts was to scream as loud as her lungs allowed letting her screams drown in the wind.

“DAAAAAAMN IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” It wasn’t just the confusion and frustration. It was the anger that he had lied to her! He had always been a liar behind a mask!

But when her lungs were about to burst and she could no longer breathe she realized he hadn’t lied- ever since she found him dying her had never once lied, he had never once hid behind a mask. He had hid things yes, but he had not deceived and he had left himself wide open for her, no masks and no defenses.

«Then again why wouldn’t he hide who he was? He was dying and the only person who came to save him was his biggest enemy, how could he be honest? I would have done the same damn thing in his place.» She told herself.

Yes, Korra knew it was him, she didn’t want to know, she didn’t want to believe but she knew. Except now she couldn’t see him with the eyes she had seen him before. She had seen him at his lowest and most vulnerable and he had trusted her then. She had talked to him like a human, like a friend, and found out how charming he could be. She had seen his gratitude for her and his worry. And she had seen how the memory of Tarrlok affected him, for Spirits’ sake she had seen him cry!

She simply refused to see him as that man anymore. She decided this was someone else, not because he hadn’t been the terrible nightmare monster before but because he was someone else now. Someone who she wanted to forgive and be with, just the thought of having to hate him, of never seeing him again made her cry- literally. And while the tears streaked her face with the rain, more in despair than misery, she realized that maybe, just _maybe_ , she was lying to herself because she had come to like him more than she ever should.

She also realized she wasn’t letting herself think of her old foe’s name, or names, not when her head was so full of images of her _Tonraq_.

Either way, she decided none of this would matter. Who he was, or had been, and what his ideals had been didn’t matter until he decided to tell her himself. Until that day she would keep up the pretense. Until that day he would be _her_ _Tonraq_. And when that day came, then she would see just how important his identity was.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

Korra returned several hours later, only because the cyclonic winds, massive waves and overwhelming rain had become too much for even the Avatar to bear or bend. She did, however, still have the mental presence to reinforce a shelter for Naga again, this time by bending a shelter into the cliff wall far above the dangerous flooding waves, and adding a wide path both down to the beach and up to the forest so the polar bear dog was free to wander in case of emergency.

Her clothes were dripping with water that she didn’t even try to dry off and her hair had come loose from its ponytail was washed down her back and over her face giving her a haunted look.

She knew it had been cruel to remove the steps, effectively locking him in but it had mostly been out of worry, for if he came looking for her he might have gotten hurt in the storm. But of course that was just the excuse she was giving herself, the truth was she didn’t want him coming after and most of all she feared that he would. But now that she thought about it he could have very well come after her anyway if he really wanted too.

She looked around the cave. He was cooking, it seems he had found some wood that wasn’t overly soaked, and while it still smoked and produced a weaker flame, it wasn’t too bad and seemed to be enough to cook whatever he was preparing.

He did not speak a word as she entered but he did glance her way acknowledging her return.

Korra stood at the entrance, dripping with rain for several long uncomfortable minutes. She was trying to steel her resolve for what she had decided.

“I’m sorry I stormed off like that.” She told him, still from her spot by the entrance.

“No need. Are you alright?” This time he turned to her, trying to look as stoic as ever but with worry reflected in his eyes as he took in her appearance.

“Yeah. I’m fine now.” She spoke with a resigned sigh then moved closer, hearing her stomach growl at the smell of warm food.

“Hm.” He merely nodded still eyeing her soaked clothing.

“Look, I wanted to say…It’s not your fault. Sure, I was scared when you wouldn’t wake up and the way you grabbed me kinda shocked me, specially my neck…” She rubbed the back of her head self-consciously. “…but I see now that it was just a nightmare. I’m sorry I got so distressed.”

She looked into his eyes with an honest effort to apologize even though she knew she was lying.

_Tonraq_ stared at her. «So that was it?» He thought while looking into those cerulean eyes as she rubbed her neck. «I see. Perhaps that particular spot brought back unpleasant memories.» He was thinking of when he had tried to cleanse, not _cleanse_ , when he had tried to _remove_ her bending, it seemed logical that a firm hold to the neck would become implemented as a somewhat traumatic stance. He made a mental note to avoid touching her there again as he convinced himself that everything would be alright, even if he still had his doubts.

“Thank you.” He said honestly trying to convey gratefulness for her willingness to pretend everything was ok as well for her return and her worry for him.

“Don’t mention it.” She waved it off and smiled taking a seat next to him and peering into the little cooking pot. “So what’s on the menu?”

“Mushroom and sea prune soup.” He answered as he poured her a bowl and watched her take a sip. It was the first time he cooked something for her entirely on his own and for some reason it gave him butterflies to think of what she might say.

“This is awesome.” She said after a few moments savoring the broth, this time her words were filled with real honesty and a hint of surprise. She swallowed down half the bowl quickly and with gusto.

His only reply was to nod, though on the inside he was absurdly pleased.

“I have a question.” He voiced after a silent moment broken only by Korra’s graceless soup slurping.

“Hm?” She looked at him curious.

“If you have been so cold why not go sleep with the polar bear dog? You seem comfortable with it.”

“First of all, Naga is a she, not an it. Secondly… I didn’t really think about it. I guess I thought I could handle it.” But she had thought of it. She was used to have Naga with her, even indoors, so of course she had thought about it, however she simply didn’t want to leave his side and that had shoved the idea of joining Naga to the back of her mind.

He nodded silently, not really sure if he believed her but secretly pleased that she had preferred his company instead of the beast’s.

“My turn. So, what is it today?” She grinned, sipping the rest of her soup.

He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to elaborate.

“The trivia of the day.” She downed the rest of the soup and set the bowl to the side.

He turned is eyes back to his food, sipping it slowly and politely as he considered what to tell her. There was not much more safe information he could give her and he considered asking her again what she wanted to know but instead he decided to take a leap of faith.

“I am a bender.” He looked at her, locking his gaze with hers and waiting to see any hint that would tell him whether or not telling her this piece of info would be dangerous.

“Water, right?” She said simply and casually but no longer smiling. She had broken eye contact and was leaning back against the cave wall with her clothes still half wet.

“Yes.” He was taken aback by her reaction, but still wondering where this was going.

“Maybe when the typhoon dies out we could practice some forms together. Might be good exercise for you, no? To see if you still have what it takes?” She looked at him again, sporting a challenging grin.

“Maybe.” He answered simply. He wouldn’t tell her that he still wasn’t comfortable enough to bend again; he wouldn’t tell her that he had been a psychic bender and therefor he could test his skills without the forms. But he did smile, almost without notice, because he was just that relieved.


	9. Fevers

Something wasn’t quite right with Korra. He thought she was alright and back to her sassy self after he had confided to be a bender, but sometime that evening she had started to shiver and doze off and hadn’t felt up doing her regular water-healing session with him.

Not that _Tonraq_ minded much, he didn’t feel there was much more water healing could do for him, he knew full well all his broken bones and internal organs were healed, he knew that only the very worst of his burns were still in need to special care while the rest was already as healed as possible, he knew that the priority was restoring his elasticity and movement as well as recovering from the burns that had damaged as deeply as his muscle tone. But what he knew didn’t matter because Korra insisted on continuing, she instead on trying to help him further, so he made no objection.

However, it was Korra’s stubborn determination in getting him back in shape again that made her sudden procrastination seem odd.

He figured out what was wrong when he was bringing her some dinner. She was asleep on the blanket they had shared, but she was also shivering and overly flushed.

“Korra?” He leaned closer to her, pressing a scarred hand to her smooth skin. She was burning up.

«I should not had let stay outside in the storm so long. And I shouldn’t have let walk around in those wet clothes.» He cursed to himself, even though she probably wouldn’t have listened, and put the food aside before sitting next to her.

“Korra. Korra!” He shook her awake softly.

“Hmmm…What?” She mumbled something and her eyes flickered open.

“How are you feeling?” He asked sternly.

“Sleepy…” Her eyes were already threatening to close again. “Cold… Thirsty…Dizzy…”

With that he got up and headed to the little pond to fill a container with water. As he did, he caught a glimpse of his own reflection in the water for the very first time.

He had been actively trying to avoid his own reflection, not really wanting to know what he had become. Sometimes he wondered vaguely if he looked anything like he did when he had been pretending to be a burn victim, now he saw he did not.

His eyes seemed unscathed; his brows, nose and mouth were the same shape but marred with webby scar tissue, his cheeks, forehead and jaw were a mangled mass of disfigured skin, but unlike his fake scars, these had no directionality since the blast had caught him head on; his neck seemed salvageable with webs of smooth scaring that was not too noticeable even in his tan skin; his ears were marked and hewed too but still there and not melted onto themselves has he had first feared; he also saw that his hair was much longer than before but mostly intact except for a large portion on the left side of his head but now that the skin was healed it was growing back and since Korra had cut off the singed ends it actually seemed decent, the healed skin also meant that some shadow of beard was starting to appear as well.

All in all he was unrecognizable but he had expected much worse. He left out the breath he had been holding as he examined himself and silently thanked Korra for all her effort in fixing him, noting again how ironic it all was.

He scooped up the fresh cool water and joined her again, sitting next to her heated body. He lifted her head to his lap and began dabbing a left-over piece of cloth in the cool water before gently stroking it across her overheated forehead and cheeks.

Korra awoke, looking at him dizzily with her eyes stinging.

“Water?” He asked, holding up a cup of the cool liquid.

She nodded and he held her up, holding the cup to her dry lips and helping her drain the whole thing before she lay back down drowsily.

“You have a fever. Try to sleep it off.” He spoke softly while moving her hair off her face and Korra just didn’t have the strength to argue as she slipped off to sleep.

 _Tonraq_ kept making sure to cool her heated head, but it became obvious that the rest of her was shivering cold and the typhoon was not abating, it was bringing stronger winds instead. He found he had no choice but to lie with her again to keep her warm as he kept watch over her.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

_“Where am I?” She screams, but her voice is no more than a whisper. “What’s happening?”_

_She is vaguely aware of a teal glow and orange flicker engulfing her as she burns from the inside out, lashing out and trying to fight the invisible heat that seems to be consuming her._

_She hears a noise echo somewhere distant and all she sees is a familiar mask breaking over and over and over again all around her, making her spin around nonsensically until she is too dizzy to understand what was what as a familiar masculine voice echoes all around with a single word- “Revelation.”_

_“What do you mean? What am I doing here? What am I supposed to do?!” She screams again and she can hear whispers of voices all around her._

_Then the dream is back._

_She can see herself on the ground of the cave she has come to know so well, naked as the day she was born, with an aroused flush rising up her bronze skin and her hair spilling on the ground like molten chocolate in the dim light. Her ice blue eyes are half lidded with lust and the luminescent teal glow dances on her skin like a hazy mist._

_He is there too. The man whose face she never sees._

_He kneels between her invitingly open thighs, caressing her cheek gently with one hand as the other pins both her wrists on the rocky ground over her head, but she doesn’t fight his grip, she wants this. He kisses her, a kiss so filled with passion that even the Korra that is merely watching feels her breath catch in her throat. The kiss is long and languid, with lips molding and melding together as waves at sea, and tongues meeting and dancing and exploring with determined desire._

_His hand on her cheek stroke lower, caressing the side of her neck and swaying down to her breasts, tracing the mound with teasing touches as she wantonly arches to him for more._

_“What does this mean?! What?” She tries to scream in frustration and desire as the Korra on the ground moans and murmurs, wrapping a leg around the companion’s scarred hip._

_Scarred…Realization hits her like rock._

_“What…? Why him?! Of all the people, why him?!”_

_She closes her eyes and screams. But images of the two tangled bodies burn inside her eyelids like bright white light, just like the rest of her is burning…and burning…and burning…_

_She can feel the foreboding pressure around her again, as if it’s telling her that she’s running out of time or maybe that she’s being stupid, she’s not sure but it feels like a supernatural scolding. She can feel it but she ignores it. The two people that she’s being forced to watch seem more important, she’s confused and angry at herself because she wants to be that Korra, she doesn’t_ want _to want it but the need is overwhelming._

_~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~_

Korra was screaming. Not specific words, just screaming.

For hours _Tonraq_ could not take his eyes off her. Even sweating, overly flushed, with matted hair and delirious she looked beautiful, tempting even. But eventually he began to worry- the fever was growing worse and sometime in the middle of the night she began to actively thrash in delirium, no matter how hard he tried to hold her to calm her down and keep her warm, and now she actually yelling so hard he worried she might be in pain.

“Korra! Korra, wake up!” He shook her, dabbing more cool water on her sweating feverish skin with the soaked cloth. “Korra!” He nearly yelled, he didn’t know why her screams affected him so, after all she was just delirious, but her screams and groans did affect him greatly, they gave him flashbacks of things he didn’t wish to remember and they stabbed him with worry.

At last, her eyes opened. She was panting quite hard and slightly tearful, looking around as if she didn’t know where she was.

He stroked her hair trying to calm her and held up her cup, once again filled with water.

“Calm down. Here, drink.” He wasn’t sure how to reassure her so he merely helped her gulp down the water and he kept stroking her hair like he would to a nervous creature.

She finished drinking but still huffed softly looking lost but dazed and drowsy too. She clung to him like a lifeline curled under the blanket and he had no choice but lie back down and hold her, she really didn’t give him any other option, he couldn’t shake her off even if he wanted to, even feverish and weakened she was still a strong tenacious woman. He did however feel relieved that she was no longer screaming.

Eventually Korra drifted back to sleep. It was not peaceful, the delirium continued all through the night but at least now she was calmer and the temperature of her skin slowly swayed higher and lower but never as threateningly as before. By dawn, he decided it was safe to rest as well and allowed himself to fall in a light fitful sleep.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

For the second day in a row, Korra awoke in _Tonraq’s_ arms. This time, she was fully aware that he had been up most of the night tending to her, not that she remembered much of it besides someone stroking her hair in the faint moments of semi-consciousness she had had.

He looked very tired. His lips were set in a grim line and his eyes almost seemed sunken with exhaustion from not having slept much two nights in a row, she also noticed that he had a pretty distinct shadow of beard now and his hair was a tangled mess. She kind of wanted to comb her fingers through his hair and tie it back but the thought soon slipped her sleepy brain.

She still felt groggy and cold so she cuddled closer to his warm body, her head was pounding and she couldn’t get all the inappropriate images she had seen out of her mind.

She was now officially convinced that those indecorous dreams were not dreams at all. The reason for it was simple- she had never been as intimate with a male as those fantasies proposed so as much as she could fantasize with her limited knowledge she could never had dreamt up such convincing scenarios, actions and reactions. She wasn’t sure what they were, but it had taken a bout of fever to let see the _dream_ clearly enough that she had no doubt it was not a creation of her own mind.

What was it then? Were those images some sort of message from the Spirits? Maybe. A curse? Not likely. A premonition? No, she couldn’t imagine him wanting that, not with her, not after…

The thoughts were bringing back the past and she decided she shouldn’t be thinking about such important things when her brain was still half muddled with fever.

Korra tilted her head a little to look at him again. He still looked so serious in a restless sleep and she felt a little guilty that she was the cause for it, it made her sigh softly.

She wasn’t sure if it was the fever or the lingering aftereffects of the dream or vision or whatever that was but she suddenly wanted to do something foolish and spontaneous. So she kissed him.

It wasn’t much- just a soft pressing of her lips against his as gently as the touch of a scattered dandelion seed.

The she turned slowly, still pressed to him but facing away as she rested, simply trying to clear her feverish head.

He felt it though. He awoke as soon as she leaned close but her actions had stunned him so much that he pretended to keep sleeping, and while she snoozed off again he still felt his marred lips tingling from her kiss. It made him feel like a teenager all over again and he wanted to grab her and kiss her as she was meant to be kissed, he wanted to know what that little peck meant to her, but he wouldn’t do any of those things. At least not until she was healthy and clear minded again, he was not the sort of man to exploit her sickness, not anymore.

Her soft snores soon reached his ears and he opened his eyes slowly, he could then see her drooling slightly and overly flush, but she seemed calm, peaceful even, almost childlike.

He felt himself tighten his grip around her and kissed her sleeping forehead so lightly that he could scarcely just feel the heated but less serious temperature of her skin, remembering the promise he had made to himself- the selfish promise not to let her go, after all he had nothing else worth living for anymore.

He allowed himself to bury his nose in her knotted chocolate hair and let the edgy sleep take over him again.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

Two days had gone by before Korra felt back in shape again. The fever was gone, her energy and appetite were back and nothing else worth thinking of had happened since the kiss. Nothing she cared to excessively think about anyway.

The Avatar was leaning over the cave pond, trying to untangle her wild just-washed hair. She taken the chance to bathe while he was asleep and was currently crouched wrapped in the furs she usually wore at her waist while her clothes dried on a nearby rock in front of the fire, she found that simply bending the water out of them left the garments somewhat stiff and scratchy so she preferred to dry them the traditional way.

She worked on the matted tresses, trying to comb them from the roots down as she tried to consider what to do about the dwindling food supplies if the storm didn’t wash out soon, but she was too distracted. The _dreams_ still plagued her mind making her overly self-conscious whenever _Tonraq_ was around. And he was ALWAYS around.

She also realized how it was getting harder and harder to think of him as _Tonraq_. Not because she was overly aware of who he really was, or had been, since she had filed that information to the back of her mind in something akin to denial, but the reason it was getting harder was because Tonraq was her father’s name as well and the feelings she had started to associate to this man felt completely depraved to associate with her feelings for her father, almost disturbing even. She would never admit to that though, she was much too proud.

“Feeling better?” A voice startled making her drop her wooden comb that skidded across the slippery ground.

She turned to see _Tonraq_ sitting up, having just awoken. His hair was almost as much of a tangled mess as hers and completely uneven, his bandages of the last wounds were in desperate need of changing but at least he seemed rested this time. She knew he had been keeping watch on her while she had been sickly, she remembered his comforting stroking hands far too well but all that meant he barely had slept, plus she had become aware of just how frequent his disturbing nightmares were so it was somewhat refreshing to see him so well rested.

“Feeling great. Thanks.” She grinned suddenly in a better mood despite being unusually aware of what a barely covered mess she looked.

“Good. I am not accustomed to seeing such debilitating weakness in you, Avatar. That was an unfamiliar experience.” He was walking over to her, running his marked hand through his hair before he bent over to pick up her comb.

“Don’t get used to it, buddy. And what happened to just Korra?” She crossed her arms somewhat stubbornly.

“Don’t pout.” His voice held a hint of amusement and he surprised her by kneeling behind her and working the comb into her hair, deftly untangling the knots.

“You don’t have to-…”

“Hush. Why is it you may do everything for me but I may not do what I can for you?”

“You did enough while I was sick.” She was mumbling, almost sulking but the truth was she just couldn’t handle how fidgety and pink she was getting from his proximity.

“I could say the same.” He gave her a very flat sarcastic look that she saw from the corner of her eye.

“But…oh fine, knock yourself out.” She rolled her eyes but was grateful for the help. “Hey, are you kneeling?”

“…Yes.” He did not understand the importance of the question but continued his self-imposed task.

“I thought that really hurt.” She tried to look back at him but he kept her head from moving as he combed, trying hard not to get distracted by the glittery beads of water trailing down her neck and naked upper back.

“Not as seriously anymore. I am much better than you seem to have realized.” The proud words had just the tiniest hint of bite in them.

“Oh.” She smirked a little then hissed as he snagged a tangle, none too gently. “You’re welcome.” She added flatly.

“…Yes, it seems I am.” He realized she was being humorous but he had no desire to play along.

“You really are not accustomed to tending to long hair, are you?” He asked, trying to divert her attention. He could see the mess she had done by trying to comb the long knotted hair by the roots and her evident frustration had made it hard to resist helping as he now did- competently and skillfully combing from the ends up.

“No, my hair has become way to long. How come you’re used to it?” There was a bit of fake annoyance in the question, she was teasing him, but she was also sincerely curious.

“Experience. It was one of the few positive things my father taught me. I used to have long hair in my youth as many Water Tribe males, not mention my little brother often needed help with his own grooming.” His voice sounded almost dreamy, as if he was experiencing an uncharacteristically nostalgic moment which seemed to make him forget to be cautious with his words.

Korra gulped audibly. Her eyes were suddenly stinging as she remembered a tale she had heard not that long ago from a man with three long hair coils, a man locked in an attic cell. She wasn’t sure why the memory distressed her so deeply but it did.

“What happened to him? To your brother?” She asked cautiously, hoping her voice wouldn’t betray her emotion. “Ran away from your dreadful hair combing?” She chuckled trying to lighten the mood, even though her tresses were now perfectly combed and silky smooth as he tied them in her usual style.

For a long while he didn’t answer, simply finishing the task at hand, considering that perhaps he had talked too much. Then, at last, he broke the awkward silence allowing his fingers to trail down her spine slowly, unable to help himself despite the touchy subject.

“Is that your request for our little daily trivia?” His voice was stony but polite.

“N-no. Just curiosity, you don’t have to answer.” She shivered at the touch and got to her feet, dusting off non-existent dust as a way to smooth the back side of the furs in an obviously self-conscious effort to seem casual. Even someone as tactless as Korra could tell this was dangerous ground and being so openly exposed didn’t help.

“He’s gone.” With that simple finality, _Tonraq_ turned towards the water and began removing his vest to wash up.

“Sorry…” She murmured an apology.

“Do you mind?” He beckoned at the water, indicating he wanted privacy to bathe.

“Hey, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” She couldn’t suppress her grin but walked off to get some food.

The rest of the day had felt uncomfortable for Korra. She still felt overly self-conscious and she was pretty sure that her small talk wasn’t fooling _Tonraq_ at all. The devastating storm outside did nothing to improve her mood, soon she felt trapped and worried for Naga as well as very exposed and nervous since the humidity wasn’t drying her clothes fast enough and the makeshift wrap she made with the furs exposed way too much leg and cleavage for her taste. The only bright side was some of their stacked wood had dried up enough to burn so they had a cozy fire again.

At some point mid-day, as Korra changed _Tonraq’s_ bandages and used some water-healing, they entered a deep discussion of whether or not they should venture out to check on Naga. In the end the idea was scrapped, the winds were far too violent and the rain far too distracting for the Avatar to handle given how she was still so untrained in airbending, luckily Naga was used to worse storms given her origins, besides the new shelter was the best Korra could manage for her furry friend in the current conditions and Naga had enough food to get by on her own, Korra had made sure of that.

After that discussion, they trailed off, falling into an awkward silence. For a long embarrassing minute, Korra considered kissing _Tonraq_ as she had once kissed Mako long ago, just to get things out in the open. But she gave up on that very fast by reminding herself that she had been sure Mako had liked her back and that kiss had still failed, whilst the man before her had a much more complex history with her, she knew he was grateful and had become a friend somehow but she had no idea if he would ever be open to any other sort feelings for her, given his past ideals. The thought of being locked in from the storm in such reduced clothing after an awkward botched kiss made her cringe.

“What are you thinking?” She was rescued from her embarrassing thoughts by his voice as he examined her expression. “You seem somewhat…distressed.”

“Just thinking about my friends.” It wasn’t really a lie but she still could help sound moody.

“I see. Any in particular?” Every time Korra told him about her friends, his mind automatically reached for the memory of her and the firebender boy in an embrace as he escaped the city. He hated to admit how it filled him with jealousy.

“Yes, Mako.” She seemed casual enough but suddenly she wouldn’t look at him.

“The firebender.” It wasn’t a question, just a blank affirmation. “You never mention him as much as the others.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been kinda confused about him.”

“How so?” His voice retained steely stoicism.

“Ah…Never mind.” She seemed to suddenly remember herself and clamed up.

“Was he your lover?” He seemed a little more insistent but the annoying stoic tone didn’t budge.

“What? How did you…? Why do you think…?” She was tongue-tied.

“A mere assumption.” His voice still didn’t change but she heard something in it, something irritated.

“I…It’s complicated, ok?” She didn’t understand why she felt defensive.

“You either love him or you don’t. How is it complicated, Avatar?” His use of the title always managed to get on her nerves.

“None of your damn business.” She figured this would back him down, but for once it didn’t.

“Do you miss him?” He was staring her, speaking through gritted teeth.

“I…what? Of course, I miss everyone.”

“Yes, but you really _miss him_?” The emphasis on the last words made it all too clear what he meant.

“I…I don’t know.” Korra sighed burying her fingers in her hair in frustration. She did miss Mako as she missed them all but she didn’t feel the spark of need she used to when she thought of him.

“Why?” _Tonraq_ had moved closer and his hand traced her jaw making her look at him again.

“I…I’m confused…” She whispered.

The fire in his icy blue eyes made her swallow somewhat nervously and her dreams came flashing back into her mind, almost like the little flashing image that had drawn her to cross the little inlet and find _Tonraq_ washed with the seaweed. His fingers cupped her chin so she could not look away and he seemed to be expecting an answer.

«Oh, the heck with it!» Korra’s spontaneous nature took over and she lunged for him gracefully, instinctively pressing her lips to his as her eyes closed.


	10. I know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author's Note: This chapter contains smut.)

He was taken completely by surprise by her attitude but he had always had fast reflexes- as soon as her mouth was on his, he had his own cerulean eyes closed and one arm around her waist with the other in her hair to hold her close with somewhat possessive need.

His lips parted, molding with hers in a deep, hungry and unusually sweet kiss.

Her tongue was shy and hesitant so he met it with his own in a gentle dance. He could feel her heartbeat hammering at full speed as she pressed against him, sensing such things was a side effect of having used psychic bloodbending for many years but at the moment it came handy since it told him how much the kiss affected her.

Korra suddenly pulled back, gasping for a breath as a hint of a blush tinted her cinnamon cheeks. She was looking at him with determined eyes, searching his face for something- doubt or regret perhaps. But he wouldn’t relax his grip on her and she didn’t seem inclined to back away either.

All day he been watching her, he always watched her, but seeing her so skimpily clad was distracting. He had been fighting to keep his thoughts from straying or at least from showing in his face while he followed every curve of her skin whenever she moved. It was so obvious she was feeling self-conscious, it made him wonder if it was only due to the clothing (or lack of thereof) or if she remembered her feverish kiss.

Either way he had been seeking the right opportunity to touch her and test her ever since she announced her recovery, between idle chit-chat and vague concerns he was searching just the right moment to get a little too close. But then she had started talking about that…that _boy_ and all his patience threatened to go flying off with the wind, in a way it was good she had kissed him, for if she hadn’t he might said something regrettable…Or he might had forcefully kissed her himself.

Noting that his last thought was not a particularly bad one, _Tonraq_ pulled her closer once again and kissed her with fierce hunger.

He could feel the way one of her legs had slipped between both of his in an attempt to lean closer to him as they sat in rocky ground, he could feel how both her arms snaked around his neck and her hands fisted into his newly combed hair, he could sense the heat in every curve of her body that pressed to him, he was even aware of her breath mingling with his as their lips melted together ruthlessly and their tongues began an invasive and mindless exploration.

Spirits, he wanted her! Ever since he had become aware of his own emotions for her, he had been craving this…No, he had been craving her far before that, he had been desiring her and admiring her far before he ever even accepted his feelings. Hell, now that he considered it he was sure he had even had some sort attraction for her when he was still Amon…Yes, that’s why he had been inclined to save her for last and that was why he went to such efforts to hate her and not see her as human, because something inside him knew he would want her if he didn’t.

He felt his back against the ground, only vaguely aware of the stony cold humidity against his lingering wounds because he was drowning in her. Korra was atop him, kissing with such need that if felt like she was trying to pour her soul into him, her lips were hot and swollen and wet, her tongue grazed his teeth in exploration before delving into him mapping every nook and cranny of his mouth with her eagerness. Her breath was ragged, her hands still in his hair pillowing his head, her warm body crushing his with her light form as her fragrant hair tipped over his skin.

He felt like a drowning man clinging to a raft as he held her with possessive force but at the same time he was like a man dying of thirst and she was the water. The water that downed him and slaked his thirst, yes, the euphemism fit, he thought, since she seemed to move and ripple over his body just like warm water and she was flooding all his senses until all he could think of, all he could want, was her.

They broke the kiss for much needed air but he couldn’t stop, he had never once in his life experienced such an utter lack of self-control and it was all her fault.

His lips trailed harsh kisses down her neck and the hand that wasn’t in her hair traveled along her side and caressed her smooth dark skin of her thigh rejoicing in the heat of it before stroking up again, under her improvised wrap, to caress the curve of her hip.

Korra shivered at the needy touches and kissed his scarred jaw with one hand travelling gently down his neck and into the vest to trace the hard but smooth damaged skin of his chest that she knew so well. Her ragged breaths concealed hesitant soft moans that were music to his ears, making his mind spin.

“We…We shouldn’t do this…” She whispered in his ear just before those supple lips latched onto his earlobe sucking softly.

“No. We most likely shouldn’t.” His voice was still not his own but it was dropping dangerously close as he spoke huskily into the tender shell of her ear before licking a trail down the side of her neck to her throat.

“I…” Her words were lost as he kissed her again with forceful passion, not really wanting to hear the excuse in her words when her body was being so honest.

Her hands worked their way into his vest, tugging it off with impatience and he let go of her just long enough for the offending garment to come off and get tossed aside.

He kissed her again- he was becoming as addicted to her kisses as he had to her name. Her plump swollen lips were like candy to him as he suckled her lower lip and nipped gently before trailing his tongue along said sweet lips. Meanwhile both his hands were traveling up her hips, ignoring the way the fur of her garment hitched up more and more invitingly.

Korra responded like a Lust Spirit, matching his kisses with raw passion and mimicking his playful bites. The tips of her fingers traveled up his arms in feather light caresses before pilgrimaging down his shoulders and chest, making him hyper aware of how sensitive his skin had become- Korra’s water-healing had saved all nerve function and now all his heavily scarred skin was so sensitive that each trail of her seeking fingers was like sparks of sensation dancing on him.

Her hands reached lower, drawing patterns on the taught marred flesh of his stomach and he felt his entire being reacting to her. She began tugging the hem of his sloppily stitched pants with frustration and he couldn’t help but snicker.

“Always so impatient.” He murmured into her lips with a rare grin.

Korra’s cheeks became slightly pinker but the defiant look on her proud young face did strange things to him, making him want to ravish her and make her scream. He gave in and let her remove his last piece of clothing, practically clawing it away from his body, but before she could get a good look at him or react further he pulled her close. Then the world was spinning and he found himself over her.

He moved down, kissing her tantalizing neck before licking the delicate curve of her collarbone and planting another kiss on the hollow of her throat, teasing her with deliberately slow movements, making her moan softly as she bit her lower lip unconsciously but seductively.

She tried to touch him again, getting eager and impatient once more but he had had enough of that and he figured it was time to get some control back. He grabbed both her wrists in one of his hands, easily engulfing the slender blue-clad skin with his larger fingers, and pinned them together over her head.

Korra gasped, surprised by the submissive pose, but she didn’t struggle. The position felt oddly familiar to her as well incredibly arousing.

He took advantage of her gasping lips to steal yet another devouring kiss before he returned to her neck leaving a hot slow trail of saliva as he licked his way to the hollow of her throat again to dip his tongue into it softly. His free hand slid up her smooth caramel thigh still at torturing slow pace as his fingers caressed up over the curve of her hip then leisurely up her waist and ribcage.

He could hear her breath hitch as he covered her shoulders in slow kisses so he suddenly tugged the fur, loosening the makeshift wrap completely, and allowed it to fall off her body until she was absolutely bare beneath him.

He pulled back slightly, putting his weight on his free hand and his ice colored eyes burned into her as he took in the stunning sight of her entire naked body- her flushed cheeks and sweet swollen lips, her striking almond-shaped sapphire eyes, that slender elegant neck, all of her smooth cinnamon skin that begged to touched and glowed with the cave’s teal luminescence, the beautiful strong curves and angles of her toned muscles, the generous firm yet supple mounds of breasts, the gentle curve of her navel, the dark nest of soft curls between her thighs, the strong athletic legs, even her toes seemed perfect. In his eyes every single inch of her seemed made to be worshipped.

It took him a while to realize that he had been holding his breath, but when he did he swooped down to kiss her again. He had never been so affectionate before in his life but her lips were unbelievably addicting.

He caressed up her smooth flexed legs again as he plundered her mouth with his tongue, noting how she shivered at his every touch and soon her thighs were parting almost on their own accord for his body to nestle closer to her between them, her back arched as she tried to press to him with her heated perfect skin meeting his marred flesh in a sensual but overeager grind of her body.

He trailed kisses up her cheek and licked the shell of her ear while his free hand traced her jaw indolently then down her vulnerable throat and upper chest to the slope of her breast, deliberately keeping his actions slow and teasing until he had her whimpering for more.

“Please…” The muttered word was ripped barely audibly from Korra’s mouth and she wrapped a leg around his scarred hip needing him even closer. It seemed to be enough for him.

“Korra…” Her name was once again like sugar on his tongue and he wanted to tell her just how irresistible she looked right at that very moment.

His free hand cupped the warm silky skin of her breast slowly but greedily palming it until she was arching her back for more and the dark chocolate nipple was taut and hard as a perfect little pebble. His mouth trailed kisses down her chest until his lips reached the neglected breast teasing the nipple by blowing softly on the heated skin until she squirmed and he took that as a cue to take the nipple into his lips, kissing and sucking slowly.

Korra once again trapped her lower lip between her teeth somewhat unconsciously, her moans were soft but insistent, echoing slightly in their surroundings along with the crackling of the fire and the rush of the rain outside, but when his own teeth bit down her aching nipple a gasping cry of pleasure gushed from her lips. She had never been patient but he was too slow and it drove her insane.

 _Tonraq_ smirked ever so slightly at her reaction and gave the other breast a tentative lick, circling the little pebble of her nipple with his unhurried tongue, watching as she bit her lip once more and squirmed in his firm hold.

Finally he let go of her wrists but she barely seemed aware as her eyes locked on him. His tongue languidly traced down her ribcage and trailed down her firm abs, dipping into her navel for a slow swirl. He moved with almost dangerous intent, like a predator slowly stalking his prey, waiting for just the right second to strike and it was a hypnotic sight that sent goosebumps dancing across Korra’s skin.

Swiftly he moved lower, pulling her knees over his shoulders as he kissed her inner thighs with intense eyes looking into hers, enjoying the glitter of excitement and adrenaline that her sapphire orbs reflected. His kisses became hungry and wet as he sucked and slid up one thigh to the other, never once breaking eye contact and one of his hands followed his lips tracing up her velvety skin until he was cupping the mound of her sex feeling the heat that radiated from her in waves before his fingers slid into her plump slick folds.

He bit lightly into the firm skin of her thigh watching her shiver but his focus was directed mostly to what his fingers found as they explored the most intimate corner of her body- her femininity opened to his explorations like petals of a delicate rosy flower and she was incredibly slippery with the aroused dew that poured from her core.

He traced gently across the slick flesh watching her hold a breath until his fingers found the little pearl that made her shiver and moan with half-lidded lust in her eyes. He cocked an appreciative brow at her reaction and leaned closer tracing said nub of flesh with his tongue before traveling lower to her very core.

Korra’s body wasn’t obeying her commands, all she could do was moan between gritted teeth as she tried to arch her hips off the ground and closer to him for more of that foreign sensation but he wouldn’t allow it- his right hand gripped her hip pressing her down as his tongue dipped into her depths savoring the salty-spice taste of her arousal before he licked back up to the little pearl tracing his tongue over it in nerve-wracking figure eights. Her hands buried into his hair clinging to him for more as her groans of pleasure grew louder and more insistent and at that he took it up a notch by slipping a pair of his long skilled fingers into her with gentle motions, just this side of too fast.

Korra’s head was tilted back, her eyes shut at the crashing waves of sensation that overwhelmed her, someone was crying out and she realized it was her, the cries of frenzied desire left her mouth irrepressibly loud, her insistent fingers in his hair gripped almost painfully and her hips bucked and soon her mind was spiraling in the tingling waves of pleasure that drowned her in a shattering climax.

Still he held her down and only when her grip on his hair loosened did he move up over her body, licking his lips with a predatory grin, the kind that made enemies shiver and lovers swoon.

Her breath was ragged and heavy but as soon as he was in reach she was kissing him and wrapping her arms around his neck. She could savor the slight hint of her own taste on his tongue during the hungry kiss and it only steeled her resolve further making her arch so hard to him that her breasts were crushed to the hot skin of his chest making her overly sensitized nipples grind to his marred flesh.

Her reaction was absolutely delicious, he wanted to devour her in that embrace, he wanted to make her his, completely his, but he wanted to tease her further as well, he wanted to test her limits until she begging. However, she took the initiative, effectively cutting off his reasoning.

She held the back of his neck with her left hand to trap him in that consuming kiss as her right hand caressed down his back and over his waist and hip, sliding between their heated bodies to grasp the rock hard length of his cock, exploring it with the tips of her curious fingers.

«Impatient girl.» He thought to himself again, trying to swallow the groan that bubbled up in his throat.

 _Tonraq_ growled softly, breaking the kiss, and grabbed her right hand lacing her fingers with his as he pinned their joined hands up next to her head.

Rather than protest, Korra simply smirked in that cocky way only she could at the realization how much she really affected him. She teased his jaw and neck with eager sucking kisses while her body grinded to his in a sensual demand for more and her leg climbed right over his hip again, making sure he couldn’t get away.

Even though she had never really experienced anything even close to what she was now, she had no doubt she wanted it. Perhaps the lust and the passion of the moment clouded her judgment but it didn’t matter, whether she later regretted it or not, it would still be a moment she would never ever forget.

“More…” She whispered, biting his lower lip with eager enthusiasm.

 _Tonraq_ buried his face in her neck taking in the scent of her skin. A moment later he was looking into her eyes, holding her gaze again as his free hand grasped the thigh that wrapped on his waist, pulling her closer. If she wanted more than she would certainly get it.

In one slow steady thrust everything changed- they were no longer two old enemies lying to themselves, they were lovers, they were one.

The soaked heat of her sex engulfed his length and the sensation was inexpressible, a devouring tightness that seemed to meld their bodies together as if they were made for each other and abundant wetness that pooled incredibly from her core made him move into her effortlessly, almost without thinking. A groan escaped his lips but he felt her fingers squeeze his with absurd force and the way her breath caught, the way her eyes widened and her body flinched told him something he hadn’t expected- he was her first. He hadn’t expected someone so passionate and lacking in patience would still be so pure after having had another romance, but that simple knowledge gave him a sense of gluttonous pride, it didn’t matter that this was the Avatar, the most powerful being he knew of, or that he was a damaged man, all that mattered was that she was his and she had wanted him more than any other. Yet, he felt the tiny prick of regret that she did not know who she was really giving herself to but he shoved the regret away, focusing only on the beautiful woman before him.

Korra refused to show any weakness but her fingers held his in a bruising grip and she could feel the threatening sting in her eyes that she blinked away never breaking away from his gaze, but not even the sharp jolt of pain had been enough to dampen her desire or her fervent passion and soon the hand he hadn’t pinned was cupping his scratchy jaw and pulling him closer for a hard demanding kiss.

He kissed her back again and his body molded to hers in a needy passionate grind of dark bodies, undulating together like a single being of pure lust and sensation. The silence between them was not an uncomfortable one but it made every other little sound a dozen times louder- their harsh aroused breaths mingling together, the groans of pleasure, the wet noises of their bodies rolling into each other, the crackle of the dying embers of the fire, the pouring rain and howling wind.

They drowned each other’s every sense.

Korra broke the kiss, giving in to the new overpowering sensations that built in her, sensing jolts of pleasure up her spine and making her lose control of herself in animalistic ways she didn’t even know were possible. Her head was tipped back as she moaned, her eyes half-lidded with lust and both her legs locked tightly around his waist.

 _Tonraq_ couldn’t resist her responses, couldn’t take his eyes off her. He released their laced fingers and grasped her hips pulling her up over his lap as he sat back. His arms enfolded her body in a sweet but passionate embrace as her hands found his hair again gripping tightly so that their bodies could not possibly be any closer and he kissed her breasts as their bodies moved in unison, in a thrusting dance of pure unbridled sexual ecstasy.

Soon their movements became frantic and Korra was screaming in loud harsh wails from the pleasure coiling in her body, sweat beading down her tanned skin, nails racking his barely healed shoulders and her eyes shut at the intensity of the sensations while _Tonraq_ gripped at her hips again latching his lips onto her flesh to stifle his own moans and groans of pleasure. He could feel her body on the edge, he could feel how she fought for sanity.

“Let go, Korra.” He growled sensually and urgently.

The words were her undoing and she felt as if the coil that had tightened deep inside her body had just snapped causing pleasure to explode like electricity all over her body. She screamed something intelligible and her entire being was spasming as she clung to him for dear life with her vision going white. _Tonraq_ himself felt as if her body had locked down on him, gripping even his most intimate parts like a vice as she climaxed and it sent him over the edge too causing him to bury his face in her neck again with a loud groan while he held her steady with a bruising grip on her hips and he spilled himself into her.

After a while the rushing bright static faded from their senses and they could once again hear their matching panting raspy breaths. Their exhausted bodies disentangled just enough so they could inch to the sleeping blanket where they collapsed together, their skins slick with sweat, their limbs feeling like jelly but they both felt utterly and completely sated and content.

 _Tonraq_ lay sprawled on his back and Korra rolled to him just enough to have her body pressed to his side, branding his skin with the heat of hers as she rested her head on his chest, listening to his hammering heartbeat while they both slowly recovered their breaths. He was more than pleased to wrap an arm around her allowing her to cuddle.

“That…was awesome.” She panted out huskily.

“I could not agree more.” His voice was whispered and as hoarse as hers.

Their eyes closed. He was stroking her hair as he had become accustomed to and she sighed happily.

Everything was starting to seem surreal, like a dream that was far too good to be true, like who they were didn’t even matter so long as they were together, but something didn’t feel quite right to him, something was biting at the back of his brain and he knew if he didn’t get it out soon he might never do so, call it a spur of the moment decision from a lust-addled mind.

“Korra…?” He murmured.

“Hm…?” She seemed on the brink of dozing off but she was still alert enough to understand him.

“There is something you should know. That you should have known all along.”

“Mmm…What’s that?” Her purring voice almost made him regret his next words but he said them anyway.

“I need to tell you who I really am.” His voice was solemn.

“But I know.” Was her simple answer that stunned him into silence and in moments she fell asleep, leaving him to ponder what she truly meant.


	11. Who You Are

_Tonraq_ couldn’t rest. As much as he tried and as drained as his recovering body was, he couldn’t catch a wink of sleep.

Korra was sleeping like a rock with her head pillowed on his chest and all he could think of were her words that he kept hearing over and over in his mind. What did “I know” mean?

Did she truly know who he really was? If so, why had she saved him and, better yet, why had she done such intimate things with him? Or did she think she knew him well enough without his past identity? In that case she might find the truth an enormous shock. Perhaps she thought he was someone else? That could very well be the case with how impulsive her mind was but it would make no sense. Maybe she had just spoken in a sleepy stupor and knew nothing? Most likely, but he couldn’t be sure. The answers eluded him, it was not a feeling he was used to and he found it quite nerve wrecking that she was so hard to understand.

The woman beside him shifted in her sleep as she always did and he couldn’t help but caress her hair, a simple action that he had come to enjoy especially when she slept, it was like stroking the soft fur of a rebellious pet and was surprisingly soothing.

«Why must you be so unpredictable?» He thought to himself while watching her eyelids flutter lightly from her dreams.

Despite all his racing thoughts there was one that bothered him the most- what would happen next?

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

Korra awoke slowly and dazed. She had dreamed again but the details of the dream were sifting from her mind like water through her fingers. She didn’t mind though, she’d had enough of insistent dreams for a while and she felt too content to care.

The Avatar blinked slowly, noting how dark it was, the embers of their fire had died out and only the natural glow of the cave minerals lighted the space around them. It was warm and balmy though and she could see why- she was wrapped in the arms of her large lover with her back cozily pressed to his chest.

The rain still fell, though at the moment with less aggression, and the wind was humming through the rocky walls rather than howling as before. She couldn’t really tell what time it was though, but assumed it must be the middle of the night.

“Go back to sleep, Korra.” The voice startled her a little and she looked back to see that _Tonraq_ was awake, watching her and not looking the least bit sleepy, not to mention his tone of voice was slightly too sharp for a man that had just woken up.

“Have you slept at all?” He purred, rolling to face him.

“Not really tired.” He adjusted his grip so she could remain in his arms.

“I’m a terrible sleeper, aren’t I? Seems I keep you awake often.” She smiled apologetically, her voice still croaky with sleep.

He looked at her with some surprise. He probably hadn’t expected her to know that she was a restless sleeper, much less to be aware that he had been awake often watching her.

“That never bothered me. My contemplations keep me awake rather than your movements.”

“Hm…? What do you mean?” She looked at him lazily.

Instead of giving a reply he just gave her a considering look and slowly removed the stray tresses of hair that were tumbled on her face.

“Are you worried about what I said?” She asked, curiously.

“To what are you referring, in specific?” His voice was light but secretly feared this conversation even if he knew it had to happen.

“I said I knew who you were before I passed out, didn’t I?” She quirked a brow at him, trying to conceal the nerves that bubbled under her skin.

“Indeed you did.”

“Is that what’s troubling you?”

“I would quite want to discern what it is you believe you know.” He looked at her, waiting for the dreaded words, but giving her time to consider her answer. He had seen how people, reporters mainly, had such ease in confusing her or twisting her words because she was often not so good at expressing herself so he wished to allow her to take her time.

Korra sighed a bit, running a hand through her disheveled hair while trying to figure out where to start but as usual she just decided to be herself and tackle things head on once and for all, yet she still didn’t want to voice her thoughts out loud, she was still scared of being right about them.

“Look, I know who you are- right now you are just my _Tonraq_ and I don’t care about the rest.” She huffed a little frustrated.

“Korra, you and I both know it is not that simple.” He urged her on, willing her to talk.

“I know, ok?” She breathed shakily to steady herself.

“Tell me what you think you know.” He sat up pulling her with him so they could be face to face but his voice was calm and coaching.

She took a few minutes, looking down at her hands and noting how naked she still was as she planned out what to say, but eventually she looked up him with stubborn determination.

“I know who you were. You were my greatest enemy and nemesis once; you were a man I nearly sacrificed myself to defeat. You were…” She hesitated, reading the truth in his face.

“Say it.” He urged, stony and stoically.

“Amon.” She murmured, not allowing their eye contact to break.

“You are much more perceptive than I ever gave you credit for, Avatar.” His stoic tone did not change but suddenly the pitch of his voice lowered into its natural resonance which was a release for him but sent shivers up her spine.

“I am usually underestimated.” She replied. «Avatar again…» The use of the title made her feel cold inside, perhaps even more than the sound of his real voice.

“So I have come to understand.” Was his only reply, to which a lengthy uncomfortable silence followed.

“It doesn’t matter, you know.” She said softly.

“What, exactly?” He waited for her to elaborate.

“Who you were. You might have been Amon, but the war is over and the character that was Amon is gone, dead to the world. You don’t have to go back to being that person unless you want to.” She held his gaze, this time more in challenge than anything else, hoping that she hadn’t been wrong, hoping that deep inside he wasn’t the monster she had once thought of him as.

“Avatar, I shall always bear the name Amon on my back, I shall always wish for a world of social equality and I shall always be wary of bender tyranny and bending in itself.” He spoke with determination but without expression, something that was quite hard for him without the mask, he saw her face fall and he knew that spark in her eyes was a small kindling of fear, but he wasn’t done talking yet. “However, if there is one thing I can unequivocally assure you is that I would rather perish than ever be that corrupted monster again.”

Korra felt as if her heart was on an emotional rollercoaster, first his icy use of her title created a gap between them, then he frightened her and disappointed her into a diving pit of despair before pulling her back up with a rush.

“I see. Do you really feel that way or are you just saying it to get on my good side?” She tried to seem as even-tempered as him but it was not in her nature.

“Avatar, I may not really know who I am or will be from here on out, but I can guarantee that I hate Amon as much as you ever did.” He gave a few seconds to process his words before continuing. “Do not misunderstand, I still believe my goals were righteous, it was my hypocritical methods that I sorely regret. Amon was a creature born from a desire to eradicate evil but turned out to be a mask shaped by the hatred of my youth, it took being defeated in a war, losing my brother as well as knowing you to make me see all this. I am not accustomed to admitting any error in my ways and I do not expect you to believe a single word from my mouth but for all that was Amon I will repent to the day I die.”

Korra stared at him, stunned by the resolve in his words. As much as she wanted to be suspicious, as much as her common sense told her to cling to the memory of the Amon of her nightmares, she couldn’t keep herself from believing his every word.

«That’s probably what he wants. He’s always been a smooth talker, he just wants you to trust him.» Something whispered spitefully in the corner of her brain but she snuffed it out like a candle. She was going to have to believe him because if she didn’t it would break her.

“I believe you.” The words were out before she even knew she had spoken.

“You shouldn’t. I have lied far too often to you in the past.” He seemed annoyed at her, as if he felt she was too naïve and perhaps she just didn’t think before speaking.

“No, Amon lied to me, Amon lied to everyone. But I’m willing to bet the person you are now never lied to me a single time.” She caught his eyes again, ice meeting ice in a determined stare.

“Korra…You are too kind for your own good.” Finally he had said her name, almost as if some barrier was cracking inside him.

“Nah, I’m just a selfish woman that will believe what she wants.” She snickered.

“You were never selfish.” Her words had struck something in him. Korra, selfish? Surely not, certainly the selfish and greedy one was him.

“You’d be surprised.”

“Well, you are indeed full of surprises.” He acquiesced to that at least. “So, what does this all mean to us, Korra?”

The use of her name was balm for her shaken spirit and she started to realize that his voice no longer scared her so much, in fact it seemed enticed her instead. She took several long silent moments to consider her answer.

“You need to decide- who will you be? You seem reluctant to return to being Amon but can you really be sure you won’t miss being the powerful equalist leader again? Or will you be Noatak, the Water Tribe bender that tried to walk away from the hatred and the darkness? Or will you become someone else? We both know you can’t remain just as _Tonraq_ forever…” She trailed off.

He considered her words, he had thought about that very subject time and time again since she had given him the borrowed name and he knew that though they both wanted it to last forever, he could never keep that persona longer than it took him to leave that cave.

“Amon is dead to the people of Republic City and that is how it should stay. Noatak might have been exactly as you described but he was also a bloodbender that reveled in power to the point of becoming corrupted and fate would have it that his lies and Amon’s became my horrible punishing truth. I can’t be _Tonraq_ forever but can you more than anyone accept Noatak, flaws and all?” He watched her carefully, she was so transparent, it was so easy to see her feelings written on her face while they shifted and warred as she considered his every word.

“The name doesn’t matter. I know who you are- you are the man I healed, the man with a terrible past but warm heart nonetheless, and most of all you are the man who I have fallen for. That is who you are and I will accept it, flaws and all.” It took a lot out of her to say those words, it was obvious by the way her skin reddened and her face twisted with emotion, but it was also clear as rain that it was the utmost truth.

“Korra…I give the name Tonraq back to your father as I am certainly not eligible enough for it. I am Noatak and I will spend the rest of my existence regretting my choices and making amends for the error of my ways, I only hope never to fall from an honorable path and become tainted again and if that does happen my only wish is that you will the one to end me then.” His hands were on her shoulders as his eyes bore into hers, willing her to understand that he meant every word.

“No. I accept you, Noatak, and I trust you but please, _please_ , don’t make me promise that. My predecessor was forced to make that same promise and all it brought was heart-ache to both sides, besides I don’t think I would be able to fulfill such promise and if you forced my hand…” She was rambling with distress.

“Korra.” He silenced her sharply with her own name. “Very well, I won’t swear that I can be virtuous forever, but for you I will fight never to be guided by hate again, in fact if it brings you peace of mind as I am sure it would bring many people, you can take away my bending once and for all and make sure I never bloodbend again.”

“No. No, no and no! If there is one thing all this has taught me is that nobody is entitled to choose who loses or keeps their bending. Bending is more than just a skill, it’s part of us and without it we lose a piece of our soul and become damaged husks.” She raised a hand to keep him from interrupting again. “I’m not saying non-benders are inferior, if anything I think they are stronger and more resourceful than benders and everyone has unique skills be they bending of any sort or not, besides who can be sure that every non-bender has not had bending in a previous life or will have in the next one? Both sides are needed for balance and that’s what our war, that’s what you and Tarrlok, taught me, it was murky before but now it’s crystal clear. The only way I will ever be inclined to remove someone’s bending again is if I have to do it to save the lives of others like Aang did before me, and even then I gotta be damn well sure there’s no other way first.” She was panting a little by the time she ended her intense speech and suddenly many of the doubts that had led her to that beach were evaporating like smoke.

“How very eloquent of you, Avatar Korra. I didn’t think you had it in you.” A little amusement broke his previously somber mood.

“Well I do, so don’t ever ask me that again.” She was serious, angrily so.

“Very well, I won’t. I will respect all your wishes. I owe you that much and more, I owe you my life and more than that I owe you my soul.”

“Oh geez, always so theatrical! You don’t owe me anything, just please stay on my side this time.” She seemed uncomfortable with all the dramatic conversation but his words were a relief either way, suddenly the big bad foe from her dreams was becoming more and more human, the man she had once fought and warred with so intensely was leaving himself at her mercy and all she wanted to do was stay with him in that cave forever.

“Korra, I do owe you both my body and soul, of that you can be sure.” He twisted a loose lock of her hair between his fingers before continuing. “But the most important issue hasn’t been discussed yet.”

“What do you mean?” She was a little alarmed. Was there something even worse they needed to face?

“I mean what we shall do henceforth. I cannot ignore what has transpired between us today.” Once again he saw her cheeks redden. “What will we do when the time comes to leave this cave?”

“I…T-Noatak, I know you don’t want to go back to the city and I can understand why but I have to go.”

“I cannot return, it would be a mockery to do so…” She was about to interrupt but this time he silenced her. “…but if I am ever going to make amends for Amon I will have to go back sooner or later.”

“Then stay with me, please!” She pleaded.

“Korra, I do not deserve you.” He said simply and honestly, though he had no intention of refusing her.

“Oh shut up! I don’t agree with that and even if I did I wouldn’t care. Do you want me or not?” She had that stubborn impulsive aggression building up in her again from all the emotionally draining topics and was just itching to burst.

“I wish I could be a virtuous person and stay away from you, Korra, but I am selfish at heart and therefore cannot lie that I want you to myself, no matter who gets in the way. So as long as you want me I shall stay by your side.” This was another reason why he had always worn a mask- his face betrayed him, he couldn’t avoid smiling, her words made his previously bleak heart want to dance in his chest.

“Good, ‘cause I’ll hunt you down this time if you disappear again.” She muttered feeling self-conscious.

“I will not. Although I might have to hide, I might not be recognized in the state I am in but I cannot possibly be of any help to you or the city if I am in a cage, not to mention I do not intend to let myself get caught, I would miss you far too much.” Korra was amazed of how he could say such things with not a shred of embarrassment.

“Well I wouldn’t want you to get caught either…” She muttered a little conflicted since she knew that had been her exact goal just a few months earlier.

“It does however raise a couple of other questions.” He spoke lightly.

“Like?”

“You better than anyone know how very scarred and deformed I have become, whether we include non-physical damage or not, whilst you are not only the Avatar but also an unbearably beautiful woman. While locked here alone in this cage you might want me but what of when we return to a world of much more appealing suitors?” His is mind he pictured the firebender boy and the things he would like to do to that person if Korra chose the other man over him, but he kept his tone neutral.

“Seriously? You’re seriously asking that after I gave you my frigging virginity? Do I look like I care what you look like? If anything I’m more attracted to you because I know how hard you fought these wounds along with me.” She didn’t know how else to put it, the words failed her and frankly she felt a tiny bit offended that he would think her shallow.

“Don’t be offended. It is simply that you are young, Avatar, and the world is teeming with men far better than me. I don’t intend to let anyone but myself have you but I do want you to understand my reservations. I can be a very possessive person.” He spoke the last words darkly, as a warning, but it was enough to send a thrilling shiver up her spine.

“So can I.” She replied, lacking anything smart to say. “In fact I don’t care if the whole world knows you’re with me, I’d welcome it.”

“Oh? And what would the world think if they knew Avatar Korra was romantically involved with the likes of me?” The question was serious but seemed to amuse him, he had always known how to push her buttons and get to her.

“I’m the damn Avatar, who I chose to love is up to me and the world has gotta deal with it!” The words sounded somewhat familiar as they left her lips, but Korra felt they were very accurate.

“Your obstinate free spirit never ceases to amaze me, Korra.” He leaned closer to her and looked into her eyes yet again with their faces mere inches apart. “But are you saying you love me, Avatar?”

Korra swallowed a little nervously, realizing she had just been baited into saying more than her big mouth intended.

“Of course I do, are you an idiot?” Her brain when automatically into impulsive mode, and defensive too apparently, as those icy eyes of his bore into her.

“I love you too, Korra.” With that simple phrase he kissed her.

It was a long and deliciously sweet kiss albeit the possessive edge to it. Their lips were made for each other and their naked bodies embraced with crushing elation. Soon they were using said bodies to show just how very much they could love each other- all the way until dawn.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~  
> (Author’s Note: Yay for emotional peace of mind!…for now. >:)  
> Also, yaaaay for chibi Korra and “The Promise” references!   
> I might have been overly sappy in this chapter. ^^’ I’m sorry but the story will get angsty again soon so I’m giving them a sappy little respite.  
> Hope you enjoyed it so far. More to come soon.)


	12. Bath Time Fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Smut in this chapter.)

Korra was dreaming again. She was shifting and mumbling in her sleep and her eyelids fluttered so furiously that it almost seemed she’d awake at any second.

Noatak had learned to tell the difference between her dreams but didn’t actually need to know the difference to tell this one apart from the others. This was the kind of dream that could wake anyone sleeping next to her, the kind she had had often during her feverish days, it was the kind that he could not soothe by petting her hair as he did with the others.

Sometimes he wondered what she dreamt, others he didn’t really want to know. He figured the pressure of never knowing what dreams are just dreams and what are spiritual messages must be jarring and honestly he had enough to worry about with his own nightmares. Still, he worried for her every time his touch could not sooth her restlessness.

Korra awoke with a start, blinking furiously at the roof of the ethereally glowing cavern with teal sparkles reflected in her cerulean eyes. Before he could say anything, she looked at him and the confusion in her eyes melted away into a look of warmth. Her hand reached out to caress his scarred cheek and he leaned into her touch.

“Did I wake you again?” Korra rolled to her side to face him over their shared blanket in the hard ground.

“Yes.” Was his simple reply.

“And here I thought you’d deny it with that ‘no it was my thoughts’ excuse.” Korra yawed obviously trying to tease him but failing dismally in her sleepiness.

“Was it a nightmare?” He watched her look at him once more.

“Why would you ask that?” She seemed somewhat surprised.

“You were agitated and I have experience with nightmares.” He spoke as matter-of-factly as ever.

“True. I don’t know what it was though, my dreams are always so vivid but sometimes they slip my mind by the time I wake up just like this one.” Her forehead was scrunched in concentration and he smoothed it with the tip of his thumb in a soft caress. It was strange how that simple relaxing gesture had once inspired so much fear.

“Either way, it is probably far past noon. We should be up.” He stood, reaching out a hand to help her up.

Korra nodded and got up stretching her sore body. It had been two days since their fateful first kiss and ever since then they had barely left each other’s arms to eat and little more, so their sleeping patterns were completely off, her body was sore and they both needed a bath but she was happier than she had been in months.

She watched him walk towards the pond and a wicked little grin took over her lips. Moments later she was bending a large splash of water right in his face.

Noatak, however, surprised her by dodging it with some of his old elegance and before she could react he had her by the hand and was pushing her in the water, watching her fall in head first as he stood victorious over the pond.

“You have much to learn before you can surprise me, young Avatar.” He spoke somewhat proudly with a hint of his old commanding tone, probably pleased that he had retained some skill despite his still recovering body.

Korra had surfaced, tossing her dripping hair back over her back and looked up at him rebelliously. Water moistened her plump lips and dripped from her lashes and hair, dribbling down her face, back and even between her firm breasts. She looked beautiful, so beautiful that he willingly allowed her to pull him into the water with her expert waterbending skills that made whipping masses of water wrap around him and drag him in with her.

“You’re no fun.” She had a pout on that proud face of hers that made him want to kiss her all over again.

“Oh? So I do not amuse you?” The sarcasm was evident as he swam around her but it made Korra snicker while he grabbed her from behind pressing her to him in the crystalline water.

“Oh, you _amuse_ me alright, Noatak.” She laughed her typical rowdy laugh and pressed to him willingly.

Noatak. For the second time in his life he realized he had almost forgotten the sound of his own name and it had been the two most important people to him that had brought a reminder. Once again he suppressed a sarcastic chuckle from the amount of irony that that brought into his life, instead he decided to turn his attention back towards the laughing woman in his arms.

«She looks so young when she smiles…So innocent.» The thought always crossed his mind when he saw the smile he had come to love on her lips, it made him happy but also made him feel somewhat bad, as if he was taking advantage of her, still that did not mean he ever intended to stop.

He bent his head to kiss across the curve of her neck, noting the large amount of dark purple marks blooming on her dusky skin like perverse little flowers.

“Seems I possess a talent for bruising you. I don’t believe I have ever seen this color on your skin before.” He pointed out trailing his fingers down her skin over the numerous hickeys and finger shaped marks on her hips.

“Don’t sweat it. I like these a lot more than the ones from the beating I took training air bending.” Korra laughed again remembering the spinning boards she had somewhat scorched in frustration after numerous thrashings.

“Hm.” He didn’t seem inclined to answer further and merely pushed her wet air aside from her neck, having half a mind to plant another set of dark blotches in the wake of his lips.

The Avatar tipped her head just enough to expose her vulnerable neck to his actions, allowing him to kiss and suck until she was squirming and moaning softly with pleasure, reaching up with one arm going around his neck so she could pull him closer and into a deep and somewhat possessive kiss, ignoring how her body became so exposed in that position..

Noatak kissed back just as possessively, his lips sealed with hers and his tongue invaded her mouth strutting all over as if he owned her and he was only vaguely aware that his hands around her waist were holding her much tighter than necessary, yet rather than complain she simply pressed closer to him.

Korra broke the kiss to turn, wanting to face him. She trailed her fingers slowly down his cheek and jaw, tracing each scar, each inch of skin and her eyes were soft and gentle as they followed the path of her touch, they were filled with some sort of emotion he couldn’t read, something akin to pride mingling with tenderness and yet there was a spark of sorrow there too. He grabbed her hand rather swiftly with his own and lifted it to his lips, kissing her palm with desire and gratitude. They knew what each other was thinking, words simply were not needed in that short but precious moment. A moment they would both cherish in their memories, the instant when time stood still for them, their bodies surrounded by their natural element and the ghostly glow of teal as they reveled in each other’s closeness and bathed in the emotions that need not be put into words because they were etched inside them.

To Noatak that moment was a dream, despite the physical dimness of the cave around them, that moment would be a spark of light in the midst of all his troubled memories, a spark in which Korra looked as beautiful as a goddess of mercy, one that was his despite his completely unworthy state, one that he clung to selfishly but respected more than himself (something he was not a accustomed to), a sparkle of a moment in which he had never been Amon and in which he had learned that sometimes things aren’t as simple as he thought they were.

As for Korra, that moment would be etched in her brain like the glitter of a gem, lighting her path even when she felt the most lost, it was an instant in which she felt mature and bigger than herself, wiser and more peaceful than she could ever be, an instant in which she understood why the Avatar was always born human-because if it were not for all the emotions she had felt before (confusion, loss, pain, fear, shame) and that had become those she felt at that moment (love, pride, peace, humility, understanding) she would never had been able to understand humanity, she would never be able to call herself a full Avatar.

The magic of the moment dispelled as Korra kissed Noatak impulsively again but was never quite completely broken.

He kissed her back once again, pulling her body flush to his own as he stole her breath with his lips. His marked hands travelled down her smooth dark back slowly chasing droplets of water back into the pond as Korra buried her fingers in his hair to pull him even closer, as she always did out of spontaneous instinct.

Noatak’s hands grasped both her hips, raising her body up until Korra had to wrap her legs around his waist for support; she could feel how aroused he had become by the hardness that ground against her equally heated center, rivaling her own desires. He then broke from the kiss, with his mouth grazing down her caramel skin to her breasts which he kissed and worshipped with his lips at leisure before latching on to a nipple with gentle tugs of his teeth, making Korra’s face contort lightly with need as she flushed with just the tiniest hint of embarrassment and bit her bottom lip in that sexy way that was uniquely hers. He enjoyed placing that look on her face, so much in fact that he continued the teasing actions until she had no choice but to take the initiative.

Korra’s hands grasped at his shoulders and she pressed her body to his seductively with a wicked smile. Her heated cunt rubbed sensuously over his length as she licked her lips slowly, teasingly, but Korra would never be known for her patience and in one swift move she angled her body and slid down, taking him into her core with a loud moan that echoed around them in the cavern.

Noatak’s hands grasped her by her firm heart-shaped rear and they moved as he continued to tease her lovely breasts with his eager mouth. They moved like aquatic creatures locked together in their element and moving like waves washing ashore on each other’s bodies; the water sloshed around and between them in frisky teasing splashes as their bodies rippled with each passionate thrust.

“Kiss me.” Korra demanded as she bent her head closer to his and her nails dug into the recently healed flesh of his shoulders with abandon.

He complied, kissing her with breathless passion and held her rear with a harsh, almost violent, grip. Their movements became faster, harder, wilder and more erratic making the water boil and bubble around them with their frantic actions. The sound of splashing water filled the air but could not drown Korra’s cries of pleasure that he eagerly swallowed in their passionate kiss.

At last, they broke the kiss. The Avatar looked so free and wanton as she screamed the name ‘Noatak’ and the pleasure piqued in her body and she climaxed, feeling the intimate core of her body latch onto his own manhood as if to drain him of all life essence; her body arched so violently with her head thrown back so reflexively that she would have dove into the frothing water if he hadn’t held her lower back, groaning her name as well, into her slippery wet skin, as she took him down with her and he tumbled into the depths of pleasure, clinging to her greedily and spilling into her in a single moment of perfect completion between them in which their bodies were frozen with ecstasy.

Finally, they disentangled their bodies shakily and decided to sit together in the shallow end of the pool, with Korra sitting on his lap somewhat playfully, allowing her head to lay against his shoulder while their panting breaths slowly stabilized.

“I never can get over how awesome that feels.” Korra grinned still catching her breath.

“It is indeed quite overwhelming.” He agreed, nodding curtly and tracing slowly up her back under the surface of the water, noticing a small detail he needed to point out. “The water is unusually warm and effervescent, isn’t it, _Korra_?” The emphasis in her name made her flinch a little.

“I may or may not have cheated a little in that sense.” She gave him a tentative smile.

“Water or fire?” He asked sternly, but truthfully he was just curious, he had already suspected she had been using bending and was quite impressed at her level of skill.

“Little of both.” She still held the nervous tentative smile that made her look oh so young.

He merely nodded and placed a kiss on her forehead, more out of instinct than anything else but it made her relax and smile with honesty almost immediately. They sat in companionable silence for a long while after that until she seemed about to fall asleep again.

“The rain seems to have stopped.” He noticed.

“Mm…?” Korra sat a little straighter, trying to listen past the gushing spring in the cave. “Yes, it does.”

“Shall we finish up here?”

Korra nodded her reply and together they swam to the deepest end of the little lake, right under the spring, and washed each other’s hair and bodies slowly and warmly but with no more carnal intent. The Avatar seemed adept at bending the water even to just stay afloat in a short column of liquid, a technique he knew well, but he preferred to simply swim or hang onto the rocks, not yet ready to delve into his own bending skills again so soon.

Eventually they swam back to the shore and Korra sparked a new fire. The blaze was comforting and warm but blinding after so long in only the vague hazy glow of the cave but that didn’t make it any less welcome.

As their dripping bodies dried out in front of the fire, Noatak once again took on the trying task of taming Korra’s wild hair and combing it back into her usual hairstyle. In return she decided she might as well do the same for him and by the time they were done, their bodies were dry and it was her turn to take on a more serious task- bandaging his last lingering wounds.

All that was left to heal in his body were some reduced but rather deep vicious burns in the center of his back, the back of his thighs and calves; these wounds still sported some minute amounts of shrapnel in their depths that Korra had been unable to remove but everything seemed to be healing well enough regardless of all the overly strenuous activities they had been indulging in lately; so in the end it took only minutes to salve and bandage the injuries properly.

Half an hour later they were dressed and eating a frugal meal of roasted seaweed and sweet potatoes, honey and tea.

“I miss real food.” She complained even though she was sucking on her honey covered fingers with obvious satisfaction. “I want noodles and meat dumplings and meat skewers and cake and fish rolls and eggs and…” She trailed off looking at his quiet distant face. “Noatak?”

“It’s time to go back isn’t it?” His eyes bore into hers.

“Most likely.” She nodded quietly, not liking his somber expression. “You’re not still refusing to go are you?”

“No…That was mostly to keep you close.” He saw her smile and roll her eyes as if she didn’t know whether to be angry or flattered. “However, I have one more favor to ask.”

“What is it?” She seemed suspicious.

“You must go without me.” He raised a hand, stopping her before she could speak, looking absolutely unwavering. “I will meet you there. There is just something I must do first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: I might have been overly sappy (as well as much more coarse) in this chapter. ^^’ I’m sorry but the story will get angsty again soon so I’m giving them a fun sappy little respite.  
> Also, sorry for the slow updating on these chapters, I don’t have net at home right now and I’m used to writing a different kind of smut so these last chapters are a whole new style for me.  
> (On that note, the fangirl in me just wants to say-“Kyyyaaaa Korra is so darn sexy!”))


	13. Parting Tale

“What? But…no. What is so important that you have to go off alone still injured?” Korra didn’t even remember standing up, but she was hovering over his sitting form, speaking somewhat harshly.

“I’d rather you would simply trust me but I realize such a request would be unfair.” He was still bolt upright as always and looking at her quite sharply.

“I wish you’d trust _me_! Can’t I at least go with you?!” Her tone was getting louder and louder.

“I think not.”

“Why?” She was fidgeting with frustration.

“Sit down, Korra.” He beckoned to the spot she had been moments before.

“Not until I have an explanation.”

“Sit down.” His voice held the old soft commanding timbre she had known so well and rebelled against so much in the past but to her chagrin she found herself obeying.

“Korra, when you return people will wish to know why you spent the better part of three months away from the city in such a serious post-war period. I believe I know what you should tell them.” He was once again looking seriously into her sky blue eyes.

“They know I left for some sort of spiritual quest.” Korra gritted her teeth, he was evading her questions and it annoyed her.

“For three months? They will want more information.”

“Ok then, fine! What do you want me to tell them?” She was sulking and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Tell them Tarrlok and Amon are dead. Tell them to stop the searches for them and use those precious resources to find the remaining extremists and the gang heads that will most certainly be rushing back to reclaim lost territory. I am certain they will ask no more questions past that.” With that he broke eye contact solemnly.

“…Ok.” She answered with a sigh, he had a point there.

“Thank you.”

Korra looked cautiously at him, something seemed wrong, so wrong and disheartening, as he looked into the fire with distant eyes and the light of the flames danced on his scarred features. At that moment she would have given anything to read his mind.

“That still doesn’t answer my question.”

“It does not.” He nodded curtly and seemed to be considering what exactly to say.

“Noatak…” She spoke hesitantly.

“What is it, Korra?” He continued not looking at her.

“You said…You said your brother was gone. What happened to Tarrlok?” Korra’s voice was barely above a murmur but she saw a slight flinch run through his form anyway. “It had something to do with…” She waved a hand at his body, indicating the scars and wounds. “…didn’t it?”

Noatak looked at her again placidly but darkly as well, then suddenly he stood up and clasped his hands behind his back looking down at her steadily in a pose she knew so well.

“I will tell you, I ask only that you do not interrupt until I am finished.”

Korra nodded in agreement, never breaking their eye contact.

“Given our last…altercation, I assume my brother told you about our past together and our father?” He cocked his head ever so slightly to the side questioningly.

“Yes, he told me about your father and how he trained both of you. He told me how you were a prodigy and reveled in your power. But he also told me how you were caring and protective, he said you had always only wanted fairness and equality and he told me how you rebelled against Yakone for his sake, even if he disappointed you.” Korra tried to recall the entirety on the story she had heard from a ruined man in a lonely cell after what seemed like years but had in fact only been a few months.

Noatak nodded pensively and considered her words for several long minutes. He was aware his brother had recognized his bloodbending grip and he knew Tarrlok had told their story to the Avatar, he simply hadn’t expected him to go into so much detail as it seemed he had recounted their childhood rather than simply tell her who he was and what he could do.

“Avatar Korra, I am not accustomed to being wrong and even less accustomed to admitting any error in my ways, but there have been introspections that I am now inclined to share with you.

I wish you to understand that everything I ever did was done out of desire for justice and a greater good. Never once did I believe my actions were result of my own power-hungry greed or desire for vengeance, never once did consider that perhaps my perspective was warped. I see now that I was indeed shaped by the hatred of my past and corrupted by the power bestowed upon me by the faith of my supporters.

I am sure Tarrlok followed a similar path, but unlike me he did not walk in the shadows and instead aimed for power in the light; he was always a gentle person but, seeing how ruthless he became, I can only imagine what my desertion and all those remaining years under my father must have done. And yet in the end he saw his errors and repented far more honorably than I ever could.

You said you wished to know what happened? Very well, I shall now address it accordingly.”

Noatak had slipped back into the old habits, his pose and his voice, which once again had that clear but rusty dark and deep tempo, were all Amon. His words no longer had his newly rediscovered tone of good-humor or even the polite sarcasm Korra had become used to, it was the voice that had filled her with terror and given her nightmares, once upon a time. She did not dare to interrupt.

“After I was exposed and defeated, I escaped. At first I wished only to make a strategic retreat and still stubbornly clung to my goals, but it didn’t take me long to see how my entire design was falling apart and soon I began to contemplate that perhaps I had lost everything because I had lost sight of my true beliefs, after all my lies and fear tactics were proof enough that I had lost perspective.

It was then that Amon began to consider himself a man again and not a symbol, a mask of power, for a cause. When that happened the only thing I wanted was to cling to my humanity and all that crossed my mind was Tarrlok. I felt that he had given me no choice but act the way I did towards him and the cause was bigger than our bonds, however I also felt that there should have been another way.

In the end the only person I had left was the person I had destroyed, the only one who had any inkling of a way to understand why I had become Amon. So I retrieved Tarrlok from his cell.

I had some sort of grand fantasy of how we could be brothers again, how we could better our ways and be… _happy_. Yet, deep down I knew it was a farce, I hoped he would choose what I offered and allow me to make up for all our lost time but I was willing to accept his decision, I no longer wanted to be the one with all the answers and decisions, that was Amon in his entirety and I wished to be Noatak again. I felt that if Tarrlok rejected me then the entire world would be against me, I am ashamed and humbled to admit so but I could not handle the prospect of such loneliness, not to mention guilt was brimming in both my brother and I- we had become exactly what my father had wanted and we hated ourselves over it despite our foolish pride.

So I took an equalist speedboat when Tarrlok willingly joined me and I allowed him to simply sit in the back, surrounded by array of equalist weapons, knowing full well the temptation they would represent. I had my back to him, steering the boat; I was open and trusting, content in the company of my little brother. I also had absolutely no intention of defending myself in case he desired to turn against me and rid the world of Amon, as I had rid the world of Councilman Tarrlok by removing his bending. He might have been a broken man, an exhausted man, but he was still one with as much determination and principles as ever.

I soon realized he was doing the unexpected- he unplugged the gasoline tank and used an electric glove to trigger a massive explosion.”

Noatak paused for several long moments, showing no emotion on his face but steadying his breath, after all he was not made of stone even if he wished to seem so. He soon continued his story:

“I had called him a weakling in the past but at that moment he was anything but that. Many would say he was indeed weak and decided to give up on everything, now that he had lost, but I believe he was strong enough to hold onto his principles and sacrifice himself to take me down. Perhaps he sacrificed himself because he himself would not be able to handle the loneliness or the guilt of killing his flesh and blood, or perhaps he just didn’t think he could take my bloodbending without his own. Either way I trust his decision to be one of noble self-sacrifice rather than desistance, and I believe this because if I do not then I will have to admit that both my father and I wrecked him far more than was humanly bearable and I’m not certain I can live with that realization.”

He paused again, not quite sure why he had told Korra that last piece of personal information, he felt all his barriers melt with her and somehow it felt absolutely necessary to confess these things to her, not for some sort of absolution but simply so that he did not have to carry the burden of his thoughts alone. He looked at the Avatar and willed her to understand this, willed her to see through his eyes. He was not done, though, and did not let her interrupt just yet despite the horror in her features.

“You must wonder how I survived such an explosion. It was not premeditated- I fully expected to go down with him and even welcomed it, but my survival instincts took over at the last possible second making my body bend into defense position and my bending reacted by manipulating sea water as a flimsy buffer and shield. Therefore, although I survived, I was obviously not fast enough and spent the following...weeks I think, floating helplessly on some piece of wreckage, surviving out of rain water until darkness took over and my body washed ashore, left for dead.

And then I was rescued, both body and soul, by none other than my greatest archenemy, but that much you are aware of. Perhaps someday I will elaborate on all the resolutions and epiphanies you have aided me in obtaining while I recovered in this cave, but today will not be that day.”

With that he ended the story and stood before Korra again, hands still clasped behind him back as he surveyed her reaction, still unsure of how to react himself as his entire being seemed numbed somehow.

“Noatak…” The Avatar was speechless, what could she possibly say to all that? She could barely sort out her own feelings, what could she possibly do for such a sorrowful misunderstood man that was tortured with such abysmal overwhelming feelings of pain, guilt and negativity?

Korra shocked him but jumping up and surrounding him in her arms, she couldn’t figure out what to do but her first impulse was to embrace him and so she would do just that. Noatak was taken aback for a moment, he had seen horror in her face as well as many other emotions he cared not to name but he hadn’t expected the sudden display of affection. He hugged her back nonetheless once the surprise receded, folding his arms around her strong form and laying his chin over the top of her head. Somehow it was hard to tell who was comforting who.

He felt her shudder and pushed her back just slightly to ascertain what was happening. Korra’s face was crumpled with emotion that brimmed over in the form of salty tears and when she reluctantly allowed him to see her expression she broke down into wet sobs that wracked her body as she clung to him. Noatak knew all those emotions were for him, she was crying because he would not, she was always so empathetic and emotional, always so simple that it made his chest hurt just looking at the way she fell apart in his arms with tears that were more just her own.

He was unaware that her reaction had caused his own face had become a broken mask of pain, not a crumpled and almost comically endearing and exaggerated one like hers but a reflection of silent agony too deep for words. When he had shed that single tear just before Tarrlok… When he had shed that tear he had thought it would be his last and he had thought it a relief, but now that hot tears brimmed in his eyes so painfully he realized that this was true relief because real release means exposing the wound to heal it and it means accepting loss to mourn and surpass it.

“Go back to Republic City, Korra. Go back home.” His thumb glided over her wet cheeks, dashing the tears away. “As soon as I have properly set Tarrlok to rest I will join you there.”

And he intended to. Noatak did not expect to find a body, he knew he would not, but at the very least he would see his mother and if by miracle she accepted him as her long lost son they would mourn Tarrlok properly, like a family. If there was anyone he owed the truth to it was that woman. When it was all said and done he would return to the city, he would clean up his own mess and he would be with Korra, consequences be damned.

For a second he smiled softly, before he would never had disregarded any possibility or consequence, charismatic strategist that he was, but it seemed Korra’s free-spirit was rubbing off on him.

Korra nodded, sniffling and trying to dash her tears with the bottom of her palms before she looked at him and wiped his own wet cheeks in which the tears had scattered among his scars.

“I will be waiting for you. I’m not patient so don’t keep me waiting too long, Noatak.” She gave him a stern scowl with still wet eyes but it was obvious she was trying to lighten the mood again.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Korra.” He thought that she had proven to be more than patient in all the weeks she had cared for him but he decided not to rebuke her.

Korra leaned up and kissed him, holding his face demandingly to hers with her hands on his cheeks and kissing with devotion and tenderness, as if she intended to swallow his own sorrows herself. Noatak kissed back gratefully, hoping that she would still see him in the same light she did now when she was back in the city and away from the precious bay that had been their world.


	14. Home At Last…

Korra had taken her time to pack, in fact she had taken a very unusually long time dragging her feet at each little task but it had been obvious that she just wanted to gain what little more time she could with Noatak and by the time she was done packing and getting Naga ready it was the middle of the night and her departure was delayed until morning.

She didn’t sleep though, they didn’t know how long it would be before they could meet again so they spent the rest of the night indulging in their goodbyes, preferring to ignore the fact that they would be too exhausted to travel by dawn. Korra had eventually pointed that out as a means to extend their time together, even though she was eager to be home, but Noatak had replied that if lack of rest from their nocturnal activities was the excuse she’d use to keep them from travelling then they would probably never leave. He was right.

So by morning time had come for them to part. Naga was excited and overly energetic from being holed up during the typhoon so Korra was sure they’d keep a good pace and get home quickly but she had worried how Noatak planned to travel since they had no other means of transportation, yet he had waved her off and said that she needn’t worry with such trifling matters and stated quite mysteriously that he had his own means. In the end she had had no choice but to trust him.

It had been two days since then and Korra had only stopped to sleep and rest next to Naga as well the occasional thirty minute food and water break.

It was a typical chilly misty dawn in Republic City, despite the early summer sun rising, and Yue Bay was cloaked in fog that made sunlight look diffused and ethereal as it licked at the buildings and sparkled on the water; albeit the early hours the edges of the city were already alive with energy as people began their daily affairs. To Korra it all looked wonderful and magical, it was home.

The first familiar face to see Korra was none other than Chief Beifong. She was walking back from the fishing harbor with a small group of officers when Korra spotted her. The Avatar had cut some hours off her journey by ice-bending a path for them over the edge of the gigantic bay, rather than force Naga to circle around over the mountains for another half day of traveling, so by the time they entered the city they were right by the docks.

“Liiiiiiin!” Korra yelled and waved energetically from her spot over Naga’s back.

Chief Beifong turned sharply. The look that crossed her face was one of shocked surprise before it softened into a slight smirk as she walked over to the Avatar.

“Well, well…Look who’s deigned to show her face in town again.” Chief Beifong stood proudly in front of the polar bear dog with her hands on her hips looking up at Korra with her usual stern but snarky expression. “Welcome back, Avatar. Now keep your voice down before I have to arrest you for disturbing the peace at six a.m.”

“Thanks, Beifong. And sorry.” Korra rubbed the back of her head smiling sheepishly.

“You look absolutely ragged.” The Chief’s severe eyes eyed her from top to bottom.

“Yeah well, several days of non-stop travel can do that to a girl.”

To be fair, Korra looked more than ragged- her hair was an oily tangled mess, her clothes were stained and worn out at the edges and they even had some rips and holes in them already, her boots and the bottom of her pants were salt stained from the beach and she was sweaty and grubby with the occasional smudge of dirt from sleeping on the ground. Luckily most the loving bruises that had covered her skin seemed to have faded during the travel.

“Well, you must be exhausted. I would very much like to ask you what you’ve been up to but I am on duty, still the least I can do is escort you to Air Temple Island.” Lin Beifong cocked her head up at the police airship overflying them, she then barked a couple of sharp orders to the officers who quickly used their metalbending to ascend to the airship. She then added to Korra- “Shall we?”

With that they left together to the opposing edge of the harbor where the ferries were just starting their morning rounds. It wasn’t long before the Avatar was on such a vessel, leaning excitedly over the rail as the temple that had become her home grew closer and closer until she could see the Air Acolytes outside starting their early routines as the morning mist slowly began to disperse.

The Chief of Police was silent the whole time, carefully watching the Avatar and noting that she seemed just same and yet subtly different at the same time, but she simply could not put her finger on what the difference was despite her sharp intuition.

“Oh, there’s Tenzin!” Korra broke the Chief’s musings as she began waving frantically to a small bald, yellow and maroon clad figure walking by the entrance of the temple. “TENZIN! TENZIN! I’M BACK!” She screamed at the top of her lungs, making the policewoman rest her forehead in her hand with dismay as the few other passengers in the ferry looked at the girl with either surprise or annoyance.

«Maybe she hasn’t changed after all.» Lin Beifong thought to herself as the vessel docked gently.

“Korra? What…?” Tenzin was gliding down to the dock in record time thanks to a little airbending and soon Korra was hanging from his neck hugging him excitedly with unnecessary force, leaving the man somewhat surprised and flustered, luckily he recovered from the shock fast enough so that he would not lose his footing from her energetic greeting.

“I’m back.” She repeated finally letting go and grinning widely.

“I can see that. Welcome back, Korra.” Tenzin spoke with his usual respectable tone. “Where have you been? We were all extremely worried.”

“That’s a long, long, looooooooong story.” She shook her head with exhaustion, emphasizing her point. “I’m just so glad to be back.”

“Well, you’re home now, Korra.” With those soft words from his lips, they headed inside to greet the family and get the Avatar a nice warm bath and a decent meal.

Korra felt that, indeed, she was home at last.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

When Korra had returned she had been her usual self- she had eaten herself sick of Pema’s home-made cooking, then she had slept like a log for almost twenty-four hours straight claiming that she missed her soft bed too much, she had practiced airbending with the children with joy and she had been happy to see her friends pour in a few days later to see her.

But not all had been enjoyment and bliss. As happy as she was to see all her friends, there was one she dreaded speaking to- Mako. Still, she decided there was no helping it.

Mako and Bolin had popped in just three days after she arrived. Korra’s arrival had been an open secret and she hadn’t yet explained anything that had happened while she was away but the brother’s did not push her for details, they simply seemed happy to have her back and she ended up spending the afternoon with them in the city until eventually Mako had Bolin run an errand.

And so she ended up alone with the firebender.

They were in Mako and Bolin’s new apartment. The arena was being rebuilt but they had managed to find a place nearby in order to leave the Air Temple, it was a small place and the whole neighborhood seemed somewhat run down but the inside of the tiny loft was actually surprisingly comfortable and the rent was cheap because nobody wanted to live right over a noisy pet-store.

As soon as they were alone sitting together on an old dark green sofa, Mako leaned in for a kiss somewhat awkwardly but Korra stopped him calmly. They had been having fun as friends with all three of them together but now the atmosphere was tense and strange.

“What’s wrong, Korra?” Mako asked patiently, apparently having already figured out something was different between them.

“We need to talk.” She didn’t really know where to start but it was obvious they should have that conversation sooner rather than later.

“I’m not gonna like this, am I?” Mako didn’t look really perturbed, just like he bracing himself for her words as he ran his hand through his hair.

“No, probably not, sorry.” Korra grimaced.

“Ok.” He took a deep breath. “Say it.”

“You and I…it’s not gonna work.”

“Why not? Don’t you love me?” Mako sounded confused and looked it as well.

“Yes, I love you, Mako. In fact, I love you and Bolin like family but… the other kind of love I felt for you…I’m sorry, I just…well, it’s kinda…Argh!” She was getting confused, stumbling on her words with frustration.

“Just what, Korra? Is there someone else or something?” The mask of patience was breaking and Mako was gritting his teeth with annoyance.

“…Yes. I’m sorry. I love you but I love him more…I’m sorry.” She hadn’t intended to speak about Noatak, she hoped to avoid telling Mako that she was choosing someone else over him but the words had slipped out before she could stop them, besides she wasn’t one to beat around the bush and this would be the fastest way to handle the whole issue. All she could think to do now was apologize.

There was a long and extremely tense silence in the room. Mako was just staring at her with surprise and some sort of repressed anger, but at last he broke the silence with steely self-control.

“Korra you made me into a confused mess with your forcible emotions in the past, then when finally saw how much I loved you, you made me turn away from Asami for you, and now you dump me? How selfish are you?” He was standing and with every word his self-control sapped as his voice got louder and louder.

“Mako…I know. I’m sorry.” Korra looked at him pleadingly.

“Who is he? Some dude you met during your absence? How can you be sure you know him well enough to like him better than me?” The distress in his voice was palpable and if Korra had been a little pettier she might have enjoyed making him see how she had felt when he had picked Asami over her, but that wasn’t how Korra was and his distress was painful for her as well.

“Mako, I knew him far before I left, to be fair I only got to _know_ him for real in these last few months but I can assure you that I do know him and I do love him. I love him so much, it hurts.” Korra’s hands were clenched into to fists over her pants and her whole body seemed tense with emotion.

Mako paced and seethed with anger for a long time, going as far as setting a table on fire and kicking it around to put said fire out which started a racket of barks and caws from the store below, but Korra didn’t move and when he finally gave in and looked at her miserable form on the couch he sighed and his features softened. The Korra he knew would have taken offense and probably argued with him, she would have screamed, maybe even fought with him; the Korra he knew would have defended herself. But the person before him seemed overwhelmed with guilt and something much deeper- a sort of bittersweet feeling that could only be seen in the way her body tensed and her eyes looked at nothing in particular, not to mention the way she had spoken about the other man…

“Korra…” He sighed in surrender and sat back down next to her. “Does he really mean that much to you?”

“Yes. You have no idea.” She still did not look at him.

“Does he love you back?” Mako was staring at her.

“I know he does.”

“Then why do you look so sad?” Mako was gritting his teeth again, wondering why she preferred someone who hurt her when she could have him, he would want her to smile all the time.

“It’s not because of him.” Korra looked at the firebender looking somewhat alarmed. “It’s complicated but we love each other. I just miss him so much…” She trailed off, hoping to drop the subject before she said too much.

“You’re not acting like yourself, Korra. You were fine before but as soon as we talk about him you become someone else!” It sounded like an accusation.

“Because I’ve grown up, Mako! I know I’m hurting you but I’m owning up to the blame and telling you the truth but I love him at a whole other level, he helped me see things in a way I never would have before, he made me grow as a person. I’m sorry if you don’t like that but, damn it…” She was the one on her feet and yelling now and as she caught her breath she considered what she really wanted to say. “Why are you even acting like this? Even you must have felt that something was just off between us after the war ended! Even you were as confused as me by then! I still love you and Bolin like my own flesh and blood so why must this be so complicated? Can’t we just be friends again?!”

By the time she stopped talking Korra was huffing and sparks of flame crackled around her body. Mako simply stared at her for a very long instant, taking in her words slowly.

“Now there’s the Korra I know.” He shrugged, speaking simply and with resigned calm.

Mako didn’t want to admit she was right, he didn’t want to give her up out of sheer stubborn pride but he knew she was right, he had thought about those very same things during the months she was away, while at the same time getting more and more confused by the emotions that were budding all over again between him and the ever-present Asami. He had felt miserable and lost, he had thought he just missed Korra and she would clear his doubts, heck he had even thought everything would be rainbows and sunshine again when Korra returned, but as soon as she was back in his life he had been more confused than ever…And now he felt hurt, yes, but also relieved. It was nerve-wrecking.

“What?” Korra seemed surprised by his reaction.

“Korra, has anyone ever told you that being close to you is like being on an emotional roller-coaster?” He actually smiled a little tiredly.

“Roller-coaster?” She was confused as to what the words meant as she had never seen that sort of contraption before.

“Never mind. Come here.” He patted the couch next to him as he leaned his head over the back of it and rubbed his face tiredly. “You might be right.”

“Gee, you think?” She felt the mood ease up but was still unsure on how to act.

“Think Asami might take me back if I grovel at her feet?” He spoke the joking words before he really thought them through, but in a way he somewhat hoped she’d say yes.

“What?” Korra looked at him surprised. “I mean…Who knows, maybe. She really loved you.” Korra was fidgeting a little feeling uncomfortable at the subject.

“I guess.” Mako looked at her again but she couldn’t read his tired eyes.

“Can we stay friends then?” Korra’s asked him with a hopeful but soft tone.

“I don’t know, Korra, I really don’t. I hope so but…I need time.”

Korra nodded in agreement and was about to reply but just then Bolin shoved the permanently stuck door with his full weight and walked inside with Pabu over his shoulder and a huge bag of donuts, one of which was in his mouth peppering his lips with powdered sugar.

“What the heck happened here?” The earthbender looked around at the tossed and scorched table and the dismal looks on both their faces.

“No big deal, Bo.” Mako tried to grin and beckoned at the bag. “Can I have one of those?”

“Sure.” Bolin extended the bag to his brother and looked at Korra curiously. “Want some?”

“No, I was just leaving.” Korra plastered a smile to her face and got up. “See you soon.”

“Ah c’mon! I thought we were going out for dinner!” Bolin whined looking at Korra with absurd puppy-eyes before holding up Pabu and puppeting the fireferret with a baby voice. “Come on, Korra, Water Tribe noodles!”

“I’d love to but Mako…” Korra’s excuse was interrupted by Mako.

“No, you two go and have fun.” Mako waved them off then headed to the bathroom, probably more to hide than anything else since it was the only closed out part of the apartment.

And that was how Korra ended up at Bolin’s favorite noodle shop, stuffing her face with food to eat her sorrows away until she looked about to vomit and Bolin had to pull the bowl out of her reach.

Bolin himself was pushy to know what was wrong so Korra had to explain that she and Mako were no longer a couple.

“That’s bastard!” Bolin had replied almost comically making an outraged fist before Korra made sure to highlight that she had been the one to break-up and explained that she just felt miserable out of guilt and fear of losing his friendship.

Luckily, Bolin was surprisingly comforting and managed to cheer up with his antics, however it was just a single phrase from him that made her feel all better.

“Don’t worry, Korra. I know Mako and I know your friendship means more to him than he’ll admit, besides no matter what happens I’m always here for you, pal.” Bolin’s smile as he shoved her arm playfully and the look of pride that he had to have her as a friend could simply light up a room.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

Asami was the next visitor. Or better yet, Korra was- Asami had invited her to lunch at her home several days later, now that the police had released all the Sato assets to Asami since Hiroshi was still apprehended. Korra soon learned that the old man had been transferred to a high class psychiatric facility, rather than staying in prison and as much as Asami assured that she had nothing to do with it, Korra was still sure she had pulled a few strings to keep her father comfortable.

Lunch had actually been a very pleasant affair, the meal was too fancy but after so long living on camp food it just tasted divine to the Avatar, but most of all, the thing that made the meal great was that she finally had time to talk to Asami alone, something she didn’t really remember ever having done.

In the old days when Korra was still pinning over Mako, they hadn’t been too close; they were friends and trusted each other but the two women had completely different personalities, too different to make them particularly close without one of the other friends as a buffer, but now that the air was cleared with Mako and the war was over, Korra was feeling more and more inclined to lean on Asami, after all she had never had a girl friend of her own age before and she truly did like Asami and felt that the other girl needed a friend as well.

Asami agreed in that sense, she needed a best friend, now that she was in control of her father’s empire and the war was over things had become hard for her. There was a lot of work to be done and a surplus of pressure from people who either supported her father’s choices and therefore disliked her alliance with the Avatar or from people who hated her father and therefore projected their slights on her. There was also the problem with her unresolved feelings for Mako. All in all Asami felt lonely and in need of a trustworthy friend and Korra was the only girl she truly believed in.

That simple lunch turned out to be the start of a blooming friendship.

Eventually Asami confessed that Mako had come to see her and had told her everything. She also admitted that he had asked for a second chance and she had requested some time to consider things carefully since she refused to get hurt again.

Korra had felt somewhat guilty at the mess she had caused but she hoped the two could patch what they had had once again. Lucky for her Asami could tell the topic wasn’t appropriate for a welcome home celebration, so instead the jade-eyed woman had spent most of the afternoon updating Korra on everything she had missed out on for the past three months.

Not all the news was good- apparently there were still several equalist cells trying to regroup and using terrorist tactics now that they had lost their leader, there were also extreme anti-equalist groups who were opposing the new measures that had been proposed to ensure social fairness for non-benders given the recent disaster with Councilman Tarrlok’s draconian methods; and there were also problems within the Council since a member had resigned after receiving dead-threats and it was becoming hard to elect new replacements. Another piece of ‘bad news’ seemed to be that the United Forces Army was still unsuccessful in finding Amon or even ex-Councilman Tarrlok. Korra also hated to hear that the Pro-Bending league was suspended for the following year and tournaments would only re-start the following year after the arena was rebuilt and the teams were reassembled, since many members had run off during the war.

On the bright side, Asami was now using her funds to help finance repairs of the city after the war and her company was now supplying the surplus of equalist weapons to the United Forces Army itself, she would have preferred to destroy them all but, as her new assistant had pointed out, that would have been a terrible financial loss.

Other than that, everything seemed back to normal, except for the rumors that the Avatar had lost her power and had disappeared. Korra actually found it amusing that many tabloids were still under the impression that Amon had taken her bending permanently, even after she returned the bending of citizens that came looking for help. In fact, the Air Temple Island still received rare visits of people that came begging for their bending back, even though they weren’t aware if it was possible or not, and Korra always complied, choosing not to discriminate and feeling a little guilty that she had made everyone wait for so long.

Despite all the news, of which half she had already been told by Tenzin, the afternoon with Asami was enjoyable and she was glad not to be pressured into telling her tale of the past three months, just as she was glad that Asami did not want to gossip about her mysterious new lover.

In the end they had decided to make their lunch dates a weekly thing and Korra felt that her life was slowly setting itself back into balance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: Fun fact- the first roller-coaster was patented in 1885 while the first version of the modern automobile was patented in the same year but mass production of automobiles only began in 1902. Seeing as LoK’s satomobiles resemble late 20’s automobiles (possibly 1927’s Ford Model T) it’s safe to assume roller-coasters could exist in Korra’s universe.)


	15. Owning Up

Almost ten days after her return, Korra’s request for an audience with the Council, the Police, the United Forces representative, among other people, was granted.

Normally she would just have stormed the Council with Tenzin during one of the meetings but she didn’t want to have to repeat her story so she asked to have them all gathered and waited as patiently as possible. Usually such a request from the Avatar herself would have been quickly granted but everyone was still spread out and busy after the war, so it took time to gather everyone in one place.

All the remaining Council members and prospective choices for the council were there, along with Chief Beifong, General Iroh, Asami and several other entrepreneurs that were financing the city’s recovery and Korra’s friends themselves. Bolin and Mako hadn’t actually been invited but she was glad for the support anyway, despite Mako’s distant attitude.

At long last Korra stood in the middle on Council Hall and surveyed everyone in attendance, nervously trying to remember the speech she had prepared, but her mind was already stumbling on it.

“Thank you, everyone, for showing up today. As you all know I haven’t been present for the past three months more or less and I’m sure you’re all dying to know what I’ve been up to when I could have been helping here.” Korra took a deep breath to steady herself before continuing her speech.

Everyone present was nodding and staring at her intently, even Mako seemed to want to hear her tale.

“Initially I left strictly for Avatar issues and I didn’t intend to be away for long. There were many grave issues on mind since the war, and some perhaps not as serious but equally unbalancing for me, so I wanted to find solutions and perhaps become a more fully realized Avatar, because without balance how could I possibly help? I was too clouded with confusion so I went on a spiritual search.

I have always been pretty bad at dealing with the spiritual stuff but I still asked the Spirits and the memory of the previous Avatars for guidance. A lot of you might not even understand why I did that and several months ago I would have agreed that a hands-on approach would be better than spiritual enlightenment but I was desperate.

I did get guidance, however, but like I said I’m pretty bad at the whole Spirit World thing so the most I got was…vague and confusing. But that otherworldly guidance led me to a place where I was trapped and had no choice but to grow and learn many lessons.

I had help too and helped in return, but as usual with all this Spiritual stuff it didn’t really answer the questions I had, but it taught me a lot and helped me understand many things, it also put me on the right path to become a better Avatar.

I ask that you don’t request any details because I can’t really give you any, just trust that my absence was necessary and I am truly sorry if it was an inconvenience.”

Korra took another steadying breath, she didn’t really feel like apologizing, after all she had done her part in the war and had done nothing wrong by leaving for a while, she hadn’t ignored any of her specific responsibilities and they couldn’t expect her to be around all the time, besides she hated to think of what she had gone through with Noatak as something to apologize for but she figured they’d be more open to the rest of what she had to say if she smoothed things over with an apology first.

Before she could say anything else, Chief Beifong spoke up.

“That’s all very pretty and all, but why did you need us all here to say that, Avatar Korra?” Her voice was stern but somehow Korra could tell that she was trying to help by goading her into the real matter at hand.

“I was just getting to that.” Korra turned specifically to Chief Beifong and General Iroh. “First of all I came to tell you to stop the searches for Amon and Tarrlok.”

There was a collective gasp from everyone in the room, many people shifted in their places, all of them looking at Korra as if she had lost her mind.

“Are you insane?” Lin Beifong was still firmly in her military stance but she was looking at Korra as if the Avatar had grown a second head.

“I understand if you may not see Tarrlok as a threat but he must own up to his crimes, and with all due respect, Avatar Korra, Amon is more than a simple revolutionist, he is a dangerous, charismatic and intelligent terrorist. With his bending-removing ability it is of extreme importance that he is apprehended.” General Iroh was also in military stance but faced Korra with reverence rather than blatant disbelief.

More people were getting in on the subject, the whole Council seemed to be determined to call Korra to reason but nobody would allow her to explain. She tried and tried but everyone seemed to have something to say about Amon or Tarrlok, until Korra’s patience finally ran thin.

“THEY ARE BOTH DEAD, OK?” She yelled, hearing her voice echo in the Hall with a thunderous roar.

With that she effectively silenced the room as all attention was on her again.

“How can you be sure?” Tenzin asked, trying to be the voice of reason as usual.

“I assure you Amon and Tarrlok are dead. Amon took Tarrlok with him when they escaped and the ex-councilman sacrificed his life to destroy Amon. It was a terrible boating explosion that nobody could have survived.” Her words were loud and her attitude rash but her eyes stung with tears and in her head she kept thinking «Nobody could have lived but he did anyway…».

“Are you really certain of this?” General Iroh stepped forward.

“I swear on the Avatar Cycle that the monsters that were Amon and Tarrlok are gone.” She chose her words carefully. She didn’t want to lie and to her it was true that ‘Amon’ was dead, all that had survived was ‘Noatak’.

“I did receive reports from some of our men stationed in the Earth Kingdom shore east from here that there was an absurdly large explosion detected almost four months ago. All they found was minor wreckage, most likely from a single small vessel at most, and nothing else was reported so I never placed much attention on it, especially since all our investigations indicate that Amon would escape to the west.” General Iroh seemed to be speaking to the audience in general but his eyes searched for Korra’s confirmation.

“That was most likely the equalist speedboat in which Amon and Tarrlok travelled.” Korra’s voice was slightly steadier again but her eyes still stung with repressed tears of emotion that her memories brought her.

“So that’s it? We just give up on them?” Chief Beifong still seemed unconvinced. “That man took my bending, both those men brutally attacked the Avatar and we will just give up without proof?”

“In my opinion the best you can do is turn the precious resources you’re wasting on dead men towards finding and arresting the remaining cells that are trying to regain power again.” Korra was losing her calm all over again and snapping at the Chief.

“And what, we say Tarrlok was a martyr and a hero for riding us Amon?” Lin Beifong snapped back.

Before Korra could angrily reply rescue came from an unlikely source.

“I agree with the Avatar. In such a situation we might never find their bodies and if neither of them surfaced after so long than it’s likely to be true and the city needs the special police tasks more than ever.” A potential choice for new Water Tribe Councilman spoke up. He was a bulky middle aged man with dark hair in a top-knot and eyes like the summer sky.

There was renewed muttering in the Hall but Korra saw that the majority of those present seemed inclined to agree with the council candidate.

“Ok, fine. Anything else you have to say, Avatar?” The Fire councilmember was addressing her.

“Yes. As I’ve done so far I’ll continue returning the bending of all those who come seeking my help, I will also be continuing my airbending training and such so I want people to be informed that if they have lost their bending during the war they can find me at Air Temple Island.”

There was a resounding agreement from everyone in the meeting Hall.

“Is that all?” Tenzin spoke softly.

“No. There is one more thing- I want the Council to elect a non-bender representative.” Korra look determined.

“Excuse me? That would only spark the remaining equalist cells into power and cause uproar with the anti-equalist radical groups!” A lady in a green tunic and brown pants with deeply lined emerald eyes spoke up. Korra figured she was another candidate.

“Avatar, the Council has representatives for each _nation_ whose people inhabit our growing territory, it’s not a matter of elements.” The Fire Councilwoman that had spoken earlier seemed to be explaining patiently as if this was a matter long since resolved.

“I understand that, ma’am, but all of you are benders, aren’t you? Every candidate to the Council is always a bender. Always. The only reason the war was able to spark in the first place was because Tarrlok began discriminating non-benders, thus giving Amon the ammo and support he needed. Non-benders are well over half of the world’s population and they still feel that nobody is looking out for their rights. I’m the Avatar, it is my job to ensure balance, but balance can’t be obtained just between benders, everyone has the right to voice their opinion, everyone is entitled to the same fairness.” She desperately tried to avoid the words equal or equality for she knew it would send many of those present into riot but she freely used all the political information she had learned from Noatak, even if he didn’t seem to think the Council would ever look at the non-benders as significant.

There was a lot of debate and plenty of noise to accompany Korra’s speech but the crowd was divided- many agreed with her but others feared the repercussions, they feared it would be seen as a sign of weakness despite the end of the war. Eventually the debate escalated until every single person, even Bolin and Mako, was shouting an opinion.

“Who would possibly be fit for such a post even if we did consider it?” Korra wasn’t sure who had spoken the question but it grabbed her attention and an idea suddenly sparked in her mind.

“I for one would suggest Asami Sato as a candidate.” Korra’s voice was loud enough to echo in the Hall again and silence many of the arguments as she pointed at her friend.

“…What?” Asami herself hadn’t been especially active in the debate but was suddenly standing at attention, looking panicked.

“I second that.” Mako put in quickly, unexpectedly siding with Korra.

“I triple…er… third…um…I agree too!” Bolin added clumsily but with enthusiasm.

“Guys, I’m not sure this is…” Asami’s words were cut short by Lin Beifong.

“That’s fine but we can’t have just one candidate up for election even if Miss Sato proves to be appropriate for the job.” The Cief’s words were strict but she seemed amused by the turn of events.

“But I don’t think…” Once again Asami was interrupted.

“Then I volunteer too!” An old man, who Korra recognized as the Cabbage Corp president that had been used as an equalist scapegoat and was now helping finance the city’s repairs as well, spoke up with enthusiasm.

“That’s the spirit!” Korra was grinning again.

“Enough! Avatar, we will take your words into heavy account and consider the matter but it will be discussed it in a proper Council meeting. Now if that is all you had to say, can we adjourn this session?” An older Councilwoman had spoken with a booming voice and directed all her attention to Korra.

“Yes, that’s all.”

That was the end to the longest meeting Korra had ever been allowed to speak in. It had been a nerve-wrecking event but as they exited the building and crossed the corridor where Korra had once called Tenzin a ‘heartbreaker’, Tenzin’s hand found her shoulder.

“You did well, Korra.” His soothing voice matched the gentle smile on his features as he surveyed the Avatar with pride.

“Thanks, Tenzin.” She smiled feeling the knot of anxiety in her stomach melt away, his words reassured her even though deep down she still thought he wouldn’t be happy if he really knew what she had done during those three months.

As they exited the building they were greeted by a large ruckus of a horde of cacophonic reporters and the blinding flashes of photographs being taken. It made Korra frown, the meeting had not been a secret but apparently it had attracted more attention than she wanted, still she didn’t intend to tell her story twice and luckily she didn’t have to since Chief Beifong was chosen to do all the talking and even used the opportunity to announce that all ex-benders could regain their bending by meeting Avatar Korra at Air Temple Island.

As soon as she could, Korra sneaked off through the park, wanting to get away from the reporters and their intrusive questions but she was cut off by a rather angry-looking Asami in her path.

“Korra! How could you?! What if they take you seriously? I can’t be in the Council!” The young woman was fidgeting.

“Why not? If there’s anyone I trust to have in that spot it would be you.” Korra grinned, she didn’t understand why Asami was angry.

“I…But…I’m flattered Korra but I know nothing of politics!” Her anger was still palpable but fading into distressed confusion.

“So? You’re no longer a prim little princess, Asami. The war changed us all, it changed you more than anyone and I’m sorry that not all those changes were for the best but I trust you, you’re a fast learner and you have integrity, that’s that matters.”

Asami was taken aback for a moment and her perfectly made-up eyes seemed to be unusually wet with sentiment even as her temper cooled, but she looked up at Korra with frustration.

“The Council will never accept me!”

“Why not?” Korra looked at her friend.

“My father…” Asami trailed off.

“You’ve done more for the city than anyone, nobody will care who your father was.” Korra seemed absurdly optimistic.

“Korra…I don’t think I’ll ever be elected but…” Rather than arguing further or pointing out that she was too young for the council to accept her, Asami wrapped her arms around the Avatar in an unusual display of affection. “Thanks.”

Korra simply chuckled and hugged back with a friendly pat on the back, feeling her mood soar now that all the things she had to say were finally out of the way.


	16. Baby Blues

The temperature was sweltering. The sun shinned so brightly and the air was so thick with heat that everyone that didn’t have to be out simply stayed inside and tried to cool off.

There had been daily groups of people that came asking for their bending back ever since the announcement at City Hall three weeks earlier, but even those people seemed to have stayed home and away from the baking sun that day. Korra had never realized just how many people Amon had really gotten his bloodbending hands on.

Korra was one of the people trying to flee from the heat- she sat at the windowsill of her room in Air Temple Island and looked out the window, occasionally producing a shard of ice from the jar of water by her bed, simply to slide it down her dusky skin or suck on it for the tiniest respite from the heat. She wore a variation of her typical light blue Water Tribe top that opened further down her cleavage in a half moon shape and left her neck open to whatever cool breeze she might conjure up, she stubbornly kept using her bracelets and pants but these were often rolled up below her knees and were paired up with a pair of new Fire Nation sandals he had found in the city market. Her waist wrap lay discarded at the end of her bed.

It was easy to see something was wrong- the Avatar would occasionally sigh and lean her head against the shutters, looking distant and listless.

Nobody could understand what was wrong. She had been so lively and happy to be home during the first few weeks and she was always happy to help people regain their bending but for the last week she seemed completely unlike herself- she was quiet and distant.

What most people did not realize was just how deep her strange mood ran.

She missed Noatak. She missed him deeply and began to continuously worry about him, she didn’t know where he had gone or how, she didn’t know if his wounds had fully recovered or not, she feared that maybe he had returned to the real world and realized he just couldn’t be with his old enemy, whether she was his savior or not. As the days had passed Korra had become more and more withdrawn and could usually be found either training alone or day-dreaming and looking out the window.

She surprised the family by often neglecting her late meals but the truth was she had begun having nightmares that awoke her with such shock and terror that she would vomit anything she had eaten. She could never quite remember the details but she knew they were often about Noatak.

Korra had also immersed herself in her airbending training, in fact when she wasn’t exhausted, healing ex-benders or horridly hot she would spend most of those sunny summer days practicing her airbending forms until she couldn’t take anymore, it wasn’t just out of stubborn determination to be the best as it had been when she had trained in the other elements, it was actually mostly as a way to distract herself from thinking about Noatak or the nightmares.

Somebody knocked at the door surprising Korra into dropping the ice shard that fell right into her cleavage making her jump and squirm from the temperature shock as she fell on her rear.

“Ah. Ah. Ah. Damn it!” She struggled to get the ice out but by the time she went to grab it, it simply melted away in her hands.

“Korra? Are you alright?” It was Pema, still waiting outside the door.

“Fine. You can come in.” Korra sat up on the floor looking a bit flustered and her top front dripping wet.

“Bad time?” Pema slid the door open and walked in smiling benevolently with baby Rohan in her arms.

“Nah, you just surprised me. What do you need?” Korra tried to grin it off.

“Well the children and Tenzin are out doing glider training and I need to go to town. I was just wondering if you’d babysit Rohan, please? I wouldn’t be for long.” Pema was bouncing the boy playfully in her arms.

“Yeah, sure. Why not?” Korra stood and accepted the child into her own arms.

“Thank you, Korra. I left instructions on the table, if you have any doubts.”

“I can handle this, Pema.” Korra gave her the biggest self-confident smile she could.

With a gentle smile Pema retreated to gather her things and headed down towards the waiting ferry. She hoped that maybe Rohan could distract the Avatar a bit and maybe cheer her up from her gloomy mood.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

“I CAN’T HANDLE THIS!” Korra was screaming into the phone receiver, trying to be heard over the racket of the crying baby on the pillow before her. “HELP ME, ASAMI!”

Korra had figured caring for a baby would be easy, after all she saw Pema taking care of four kids with no problem at all so she figured if the older woman could handle four children among which were over energetic balls of excitement like Ikki and Meelo, then Korra could easily handle just one. Boy, was she wrong.

As soon as Pema had left, Rohan was pulling Korra’s hair and wailing whenever she tried to stop him, she had handled that by setting him down on her bed but then he began to scream and only stopped when she picked him up. So Korra spent the following hour walking around the temple sweating in the sizzling heat with the baby in her arms until he napped over her shoulder and she set him in his bed.

After putting Rohan to sleep she headed to the kitchen to get more water to ice-bend away the heat, but as soon as she finished refilling her jar, Rohan was wailing again and she had to rush up to get him but he would not calm down in her arms so she assumed he was hungry.

“Ok, what do babies eat…? Oh yeah, Pema left a list.” Korra rushed down towards the living area and found said list- it stated Rohan drank the milk that was stored in the refrigerating cabinet and described how to prepare it for him.

Korra rushed to follow the instructions, it seemed simple enough, just warm the milk, pour it into a bottle, check the temperature and feed it to him. However, in her rush Korra ended up spilling milk all over the list, blurring away the rest of the instructions.

«It’s ok, the rest can’t be that hard.» She thought as she fed Rohan and watched the parchment with the instructions turn into a mushy mess.

It was only about ten minutes after Rohan finished the bottle that she realized she was in trouble. The baby that she had laid in front of her on a large pillow hoping to get him to sleep again was screaming at the top of his lungs and nothing she tried to do to distract him seemed to work, she even reluctantly checked his wrappings but he was clean so she began to panic.

«Oh, oh what if I did something wrong? What can I do?”

The Avatar even ran outside to see if she could spot Tenzin or even Pema on their way back but she had no such luck and the wailing continued, distracting all rational thought. So in her despair she called Asami. Korra had never had to use the phone to call her friends before, they usually either popped up or she met them, but she had Asami’s number around and quickly dialed it, getting frustrated at the rolling dial.

Luckily, Asami now had recently acquired a private little boat that was docked in its own little spot near the ferries, so it was easily accessible and allowed the raven-haired women to arrive in less than twenty minutes. She had been very alarmed by the call and the sound of screaming in the background did nothing to soothe her worries.

As soon as she arrived, Asami ran up the path to the Temple and rushed in, calling out for Korra with unease.

“In here!” Korra screamed over what sounded like baby cries.

Asami walked into the room and raised a confused brow at the scene before her- Korra on her knees desperately making faces at Rohan who lay before her as she tried to make him stop crying.

“Help!” Korra looked desperately at Asami as the emerald-eyed friend kneeled next to her. “He’s been crying none stop! I don’t know what he wants!”

Asami looked at Korra again with some amusement and picked the boy up, holding him up to her shoulder and patting his back. Rohan promptly burped and stopped crying but spewed milk all over Asami’s clothes making her grimace a little.

“He just needed to burp, Korra. That’s baby-care basic.” Asami thrust the baby back into Korra’s arms and tried to wipe the retched milk of her clothing.

“But what about that?” Korra pointed at the white milk stains on Asami’s dark clothing.

“It happens, he probably ate too fast or something.” Asami shrugged.

“So I panicked over nothing?” Korra was snappy with embarrassment.

“Pretty much.” Asami nodded.

“Well…Thanks Asami, I’m sorry I bothered you over this but the family is all out.” Korra look adorably flustered.

“No problem, I needed a break anyway, but did you even consider calling one of the Air Acolytes to help?” Asami actually chuckled as Korra’s face turned a deep shade of red and she slapped herself in the head.

“I’m an idiot.” Korra muttered into her face-palming hand.

“You were just worried, don’t let it bother you too much.” Asami was still trying to repress her laughter.

“Yeah? Then why are you laughing?” Korra actually pouted.

Asami burst out laughing at that and had to grab her sides as she began hiccupping with laughter.

“I…I’m sorry…Korra, you’re just…too cute.” Asami spoke between bouts of laughter, poking Korra’s pouty cheek with a perfectly manicured finger.

“Yeah, yeah.” Korra rolled her eyes, bouncing Rohan carefully in her arms as if the squishy chubby little baby were made of glass. “How come you know so much about babies, anyway?”

Asami’s giggles slowly receded and she tried to catch her breath before answering, having completely forgotten the milk stains on her expensive tailored clothing.

“My father sent me to a finishing class for young ladies after I finished my basic studies. I hated it. The dancing, etiquette and sewing classes were fine but I was terrible at cooking classes and the whole spouse and mother training. As soon as I finished I kind of decided I’d be a lady if my father wanted but I’d live my own way, not like those prissy little teachers thought I should.” Asami tossed her hair back elegantly then spoke again. “If they saw me now, they’d probably be screeching their heads off.” She was still chuckling ever so often.

“How come? You seem like a perfect socialite to me.” Korra was still tentatively bouncing Rohan.

“Maybe so, but I like racing satomobiles, gambling with the boys, I’ve dated outside my class and I now run my father’s empire.” Asami smirked.

“What does running the Sato empire have to do with it?” Korra was honestly confused.

“They didn’t believe that woman should work, Korra. I was the heiress but everyone expected me to marry some wealthy young man that would run things after my dad.” Asami frowned; her face was etched with disagreement.

“That’s stupid.” Korra didn’t know how else to reply, she had never really considered that Asami might have had been as much a rebel as her but learning these pieces of information made her like her friend more and more. “What were you supposed to do while some snobby husband ran your legacy?”

“According to my teachers? I would stay home hosting parties and having babies.” Asami stuck her tongue out as if she tasted something bitter.

“That’s the most boring idiotic thing I ever heard.” Korra was frowning along with Asami. “Except the baby part, I guess.”

Asami looked at her friend with a surprised look in her eyes but all she could see was a frowning and still adorably flustered woman.

“Why Korra, I didn’t know you wanted babies.” Asami was chuckling again at the idea of the Avatar with a bunch of little Korra copies at her heels.

“I didn’t say that!” Korra was blushing harder than ever. “I mean, well…Ok, yes I know I suck at this…” She held up Rohan nervously, before continuing- “but yeah I always wanted to have kids. Though I might reconsider after this.” She looked at Rohan who was starting to slumber in her arms again. “Anyway, what I meant was you would probably be an awesome mom. I can totally picture it.”

Asami watching Korra with a smile playing on her lips, the Avatar really had no idea how innocently endearing she could look behind all that strong athletic brawn of hers, sometimes the jade-eyed miss actually had a hard time remembering her friend was a powerful being with the fate of the world always hanging over her shoulders.

“Ah, Korra don’t give up that easily, you have a long time to learn.” Asami smiled before making a face. “As for me I don’t know, I never really wanted children and I’m too much of a busy woman for that but, who knows, maybe someday I’ll change my mind.”

Korra just nodded, very carefully setting Rohan on the pillow to sleep, she even let out a breath of relief when he didn’t wake up. She then turned back to Asami.

“Want something to drink?”

“Sure.”

Korra walked into the kitchen and filled to cups with sweet tea, before using icebending to chill the drinks, one of which she handed to Asami moments later and they sipped their iced-teas quietly in pleasant silence in the stuffy living area.

“So, your request was approved.” Asami broke the silence after finishing half her cup of tea.

“I know, Tenzin told me.” Korra filled a second cup of tea for herself. She figured Asami meant the request for a non-bender representative to join the Council when the new members were elected. Earlier that week Tenzin had informed her that they had approved her request.

“Yes, seems they took _all_ your suggestions. I was pretty surprised myself when they asked me if would consider running for the spot as you had mentioned.” Asami still seemed a little snarky about the subject but in a more playful way now.

“And are you?” Korra was smiling for real, she realized, for the first time in days.

“Yes, Korra.” The jade-eyed woman sighed dramatically. “But only because if I don’t the other candidates will be reluctant to and might back out. I don’t really expect to win.”

“Well, I hope you do. I could use another trustworthy hand in the Council of knuckleheads.” Korra joked.

Asami threw a sitting pillow at her but they both laughed with good humor.

In the end the afternoon wasn’t so bad, even though the family took far longer to return and Korra was faced with the terrifying duty of diaper changing which had her gagging and panicking somewhat hilariously and led to Asami teaching her all she could remember ever having learned about babies. For that the raven-haired woman was invited for dinner and just for one afternoon, Korra forgot all about the worries of the heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: Because Asami looks totally like the ahead-of-her-time entrepreneur woman who would break social expectations, don’t you think?
> 
> And yes, I can see Korra as total klutz with babies given her hot-head and impulsive personality, but then again I imagined Toph the same way in the past and her daughter turned out alright. xD)


	17. Dream a Little Dream Of Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: My sister insisted I own up so I just wanted to state that Korra’s little adventure with Rohan is based on a real story that happened to me about 14 years ago when my younger sister was about 3 or 4 months old. I was an idiot but I was a kid. ^^’ That’s all.)

_So much blood. So much pain and tears and screaming._

_Everything is a blur, colors melting and hazing all around her like pigments in water. There is a mask next to her, she knows that mask and yet…she’s never seen it before. No, it is the man beneath the mask that she knows well- it’s him._

_More screaming and she realizes it is her, she is the one wailing in agony as bolts of razor sharp pain penetrate he entire being. The smell of sweat and blood hangs in the air along with the vivid droplets of that float before her very eyes- how does he do it? He always had such control, such elegance…_

_The light is fading and the agony grows sharper and more and more frequent, the screeches of suffering filling her ears until she feels they are echoing inside her mind._

_“Hush, Korra. Please, hush now…” His deep dark voice is so soft but so urgent and pained. Why so urgent? Why so pained?_

_«Why mustn’t I scream?»_

_Nonetheless, she shushes her anguished cries while thrashing and applying all the force of her fists in the nearest surface, noticing that he must have one his hands clasped in hers, she can feel herself squeeze his fingers with cracking force while biting on something- it is hard but slightly giving, tastes bitter like…_

_All thought is eclipsed as a wave of agonizing pain, or more akin to a deluge than a wave, slices through her entire form. Her teeth grind against the ‘gag’ and her body contorts without control like a seizure of pure torture as every nerve ending and muscle seem to spasm without consent._

_So much blood._

_New screams but not hers, faint shrieks in the distance instead. Where is he? Why can’t she see him? Why is everything fading?_

_“Noatak? Where did you go?”_

_No answer. Or perhaps it is simply she who can no longer perceive any answer, everything is so dark. Everything is so…nothing._

_“Korra.” A gentle voice intones._

_She turns in the nothingness and sees the source of that gentle voice- he is a man, she knows him but from where? The arrow on his head, the beard on his chin, the gentle eyes…_

_“Aang?” She tests the name on her tongue and, yes, it feels right._

_“Korra, not all dreams are what they seem, just like in reality not everything is what it looks like. Don’t ever stop trusting, Korra…”_

_“I don’t…I don’t understand.” Why is her voice shaky?_

_The man smiles sadly but something happens. His eyes, his markings as well, glow blue and despite the lack of any air his clothing is flapping frantically and although there is nothing solid she feels everything that is that oblivion tremble violently as everything explodes with invisible power around her, shattering the world of nothingness until…_

Korra’s eyes snapped awake. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t move, she couldn’t stop shaking and sweating. She didn’t even understand why but she flooded with raw panic.

A few seconds later, her body responded to her control and she was rushing and stumbling blindly in the dark towards the open window, for it was the closest spot to vomit her guts out as she soon did with her fingers digging into the wooden window frame until her knuckles almost turned white despite her cinnamon skin. Her chest heaved violently but she could barely get any air into her lungs as her stomach contracted so viciously. The sweat literally dripped off her forehead and down her neck and back as she started to cry, not sure if it was from the emotional intensity of the dream, the memory of unrivaled pain or simply the horrid roll and clutch of her gut and gagging sensation in her throat.

The details of the dream were already seeping from her brain like water in a sieve but much remained this time, she could still recollect the pain, the blood, her Noatak disappearing, Aang… «What was it he said? Something like don’t stop trusting?»

She was so confused, so panicked, but at long last she began to breathe easier in heavy pants and backed away from the window and the acre smell of puce. She sat on the floor, still shivering and sweating in the warm stale air of the night as the half-moon barely bathed her in flimsy pale light from the window revealing how little she wore due to the cursed summer heat- just blue tunic that hung loose over her body and nothing else. She felt bare and vulnerable despite all the boiling bending power she had at her disposal.

After several panicked minutes hugging her knees Korra finally stood. Her breath was steady and the shaking was under control but she felt horrible.

“Stupid nightmares.” The Avatar whispered into the empty room sulking somewhat, angry that she showed such weakness, even if just to herself. It was even worse than when Amon had dominated her dreams with fear.

She picked up some spare clothing swiftly and silently left the room and walked through the dark gloomy temple corridors with movements so stealthy that she realized she was using her newly developed light-foot airbending skills. Finally she found a bathroom and slipped inside, turning on the lights as she did.

Once inside Korra stripped off the clammy tunic and tossed it aside; then she washed her mouth, carefully rinsing away the horrible acidic taste of vomit before she undid her hair ties and walked towards a bathtub, unscrewing the taps so tepid water could fill it up. As she waited she looked around out of vague boredom and still somewhat shaky.

Her eyes caught her own reflection in an old mirror with rust on the edges and about half her size, hanging on the wall.

«Have I always been this thin?” She questioned herself, tracing the outlines of the slim well developed muscles on the mirror with the tip of her finger.

At last she looked away and screwed the taps shut before slinking into the water and resting her head against the rim. The liquid was just this side of too chilly but it felt wonderful in the heated night air, the only better sensation was the sticky perspiration being washed away from her flawless skin.

Eventually she dunked her head into the water as well and lay out, allowing her body to float in the shallow depths of the tub, surrounded by her soothing natural element and enjoying how the water lapped at her skin and the air trickled on whatever wasn’t submerged until all the anxiety and nausea had melted away considerably.

As soon as Korra felt better, she rose from the tub and dried herself out simply by assuming a gentle form and sweeping her arms until she had bent all the water from her skin; she then dressed quickly in her day clothes, cleaned up after herself and sneaked all the way back into her room where she sat on her bed combing her hair.

«Comb from the tips upwards.» She internally chanted to herself. She had trimmed down her locks after returning to the temple but Noatak’s advice did indeed make it easier to control her hair and whenever she reminded herself of it she remembered how his hands had so expertly combed through every silky strand of her mane before. She missed it.

“Where are you?” She whispered, looking out the window with a sigh. “What’s taking so long, Noatak?”

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

Every single person at Air Temple Island was now convinced something was wrong with Avatar Korra. Even Meelo. Even the Air Acolytes. Everyone. If there had been doubts before they were now completely cleared.

Everybody knew she wasn’t alright, but nobody knew why.

In a week her coping methods and attitude had changed _drastically_ \- she had cut back on her training out of exhaustion and spent more and more time in her room, sighing listlessly but rarely sleeping, she feared sleep and the dreams it brought but she detested being awake and having to wait as well. She ate much less as well, which for Korra was a severely bad sign made worse by how much thinner she looked and she was often prone to either get angry at the stupidest little things only to laugh moments later and apologize softly; she also seemed less and less inclined to leave the Temple, whether to see her friends or to go to the city.

Korra didn’t know what the strange new sensation taking over her was but it brought emotions she wasn’t used to dealing with, after all she was bubbly, hot-headed, self-confident and impulsive so she was not used to the brooding nail-biting anxiety or the heavy lethargic sadness that now often came over her; it was hard for her to deal with such sensations but she buried it well under a mask of grins and smiles as she teased the children and entertained her friends, yet she was somewhat aware that they could easily tell something was off and she was grateful that they wouldn’t pry.

The throngs of ex-benders that came for help still continued to come but at encouragingly declining rates, with only three or four coming each day as opposed to the twenties and thirties that used to arrive right after the announcement. The Avatar would still see them all but whilst before she would heal twenty people with ease, now four or five would sap her energy for the day.

It had been just over six weeks. SIX WEEKS since Korra had parted with Noatak and she was starting to dread for his safety. Sometimes she wondered if she was being silly and overprotective, after all whatever task he was engaging on might be lengthy but safe and she might be worried for nothing, and he was a very skilled man too, even with whatever wounds he had had at their parting he was still capable and intelligent.

“Maybe I’m worrying over nothing because I suck at this waiting stuff…” She would often mutter to herself, but deep down she was still far too apprehensive, the nightmares made sure of that.

Korra looked out the window of her room. Midsummer had recently passed but it was raining softly outside. The rain did nothing to soften the morning summer warmth, instead it made everything clammy and the air was so thick with moisture and heat that venturing out was like walking through soup. But Korra didn’t intend to venture out; she just sat on her bed sipping cold sweetened oolong tea as she watched the drops fall outside, each one reminding her of the waterbender she missed so badly.

There was a knock on the door, but the door slid aside slowly before Korra could even answer, revealing Asami dressed in her usual elegant but practical dark clothing and with her hair slightly frizzy with moisture. Her jade eyes seemed to inspect the Avatar from top to bottom before she walked in and slid the door shut.

“Hi, Korra.” Asami said sweetly.

“Hi, ‘Sami.” Korra broke into one her old smiles. “What is a girl like you doing in a place like this during the rain?”

“A favor for a friend.” Asami grinned a little.

“What friend?” Korra looked confused.

“You, silly. Now come, we have a lot to do today.” Asami clapped her hands in a happy no-nonsense way.

“But…” Korra began but was immediately interrupted.

“Hurry up.” The raven-haired girl walked out of the room, gently sliding the door shut.

Korra wasn’t sure what else to do so she decided to humor her friend. She quickly fixed her clothing and her hair then walked towards the living area where Asami was waiting and laughing politely as she spoke quietly with Pema. As soon as they both saw Korra then went silent but smiled.

“All ready?” Asami walked elegantly up to Korra.

“Sure, where are we going?” The Avatar was genuinely curious now, what could Asami possibly have planned that required her so early in the morning?

But rather than answering, the jade-eyed woman grabbed her hand and they walked out, carefully making their way down to Asami’s little boat under a little parasol with the Future Industries logo on it. The boat itself had a F.I. awning to shield them from the rain as they headed off towards the city harbor where Asami’s satomobile seemed to be awaiting them.

Korra had no idea where they were heading but she became even more confused when Asami directed her to a building she had never seen before in the far eastern side of town.

“Madam Ling’s Spa?” Korra read the heading of the building as a question to Asami with a very skeptical tone of voice.

“Precisely. I think we need a little girl time for a change and this place has techniques from all over the world.”

“Asami, whatever happened to racing satomobiles instead of going for make-overs?” Korra was grimacing a little. “This is not my thing.”

“I admit, this is nowhere near as fun as the testing track but will you trust me, Korra?” Asami looked at her with her typically elegant air full of expectation.

“Oh, alright.” The Avatar sighed in defeat.

“Excellent.”

Before Korra knew what was happening she had dragged into a building full of giggling girls with bamboo interiors and pink flowers pretty much in every surface. She groaned internally at all the smiling females that were whispering and gossiping all over the place but she and Asami were quickly guided out of the way to isolated chamber.

“Ever been in a sauna before?” Asami asked, picking up a couple of fluffy red towels for them.

“A what?” Korra looked at her.

“Just strip and wrap this around you.” The raven-haired tossed a towel at Korra playfully as they walked into a small little locker room.

Although confused, Korra followed the instructions and stripped alongside Asami. She was somewhat fascinated by how complex the other woman’s clothes were with all the different buttons and overlapping straps and she briefly wondered why Asami always wore Fire Nation styled clothing despite her obvious mixed heritage.

When they were both done the other girl pulled the Avatar with her into a sealed wooden space filled with blindingly thick vapor. After Asami had explained that the whole purpose was simply to lounge around and let the volcanic rock vapors purify their bodies through perspiration, Korra had, surprisingly, liked it. It was relaxing to sit next to her friend in the steamy little place letting sweat glide down her heated cinnamon skin, down her back, between across her breasts and across her forehead as they talked of little trivialities like the weather or Rohan or how the elections for the Council were going. Even though she woke up every night bathed in cold sweat, she still managed to find the experience pleasing.

Korra entertained herself bending the vapor into little shapes with only her arms and fingers while they discussed who might be the new Water Tribe councilperson.

“Korra, stop airbending the vapor.” Asami chided with amusement mid-conversation.

“But it’s waterbending!” Korra replied with phony indignation and stuck out her tongue causing them both to laugh. She turned to look at Asami and noting how the perspiration just dewed on her porcelain skin instead of gliding and dripping like on Korra’s body.

“What is it?” Asami asked now that Korra was openly staring.

“You used to the heat or something?” The Avatar looked away, moving her arms to bend a blob of water onto the glowing embers, creating a much stronger puff of vapor all around them.

Asami chuckled with a hand to her lips. The sound of her delicate laugh was like little bells.

“Yes, something like that, I’ve lived in the United Republic all my life. I guess it’s hard for you since you grew up surrounded by snow all the time.” Asami knew it was a bit ironic that the darker girl was used the tundra while Asami had grown up with steamy summers and was always as pale as snow.

“Kinda, yeah. Nothing I can’t handle though.” Korra grinned with confidence.

After a very relaxing hour they left and slipped into a mostly empty bathing area where they relaxed in lightly tepid flower scented water and washed away the perspiration completely and left their bodies silky and with an almost dewy glow. It was enjoyable but it still reminded Korra far too much of the last time she had bathed with someone, which made a knot tie in her gut at how badly she missed him. She dragged herself out of her musings as they got up and began dressing in simple pale green robes, during which time she noticed something in Asami’s left side, just below her ribcage.

“Nasty scar you have there.” Korra beckoned towards the single blemish on the otherwise flawless skin.

“Hm?” Asami looked at it absentminded then nodded. “From the mecha fight at the airstrip during the war.”

“Woah, woah, woah! Wait a sec, you’re saying your dad did that?” Korra was stunned, the scar was a long and nasty oblique slash that had probably been considerably painful and potentially lethal had it been just an inch or two deeper.

“Pretty much.” Asami shrugged lightly, avoiding Korra’s eyes and the Avatar new it was time to change the subject even though she wondered why that wound had never been mentioned before.

“Er…So, huh, what are we supposed to do now?” Korra tied up the sash of her robe waiting for instructions.

“You’ll see.” Asami was smiling again with some excitement in her eyes. “A little Fire Nation luxury I happen to adore.”

They were soon led into a room with several little rows of marble seats that had some sort of stone trails raised behind them from which water was running along with multiple flower petals and the scent of delicate plant oils hung in the air. Asami sat on a nearby stone seat, that was reclined back so she was nearly lying, and allowed one of the female workers in a pink and parchment colored dress to place her raven hair in the water so it floated with the light current of the running liquid. Korra took the cue and leaned back on the seat next to her friend, allowing a chubbier employee with the same pink and pale dress to tend to her hair.

It ended up being a lengthy but relaxing process involving fine ivory combs and soft smelling oils as the workers took their times treating their hairs. Asami merely hummed softly in content at the pampering luxury but Korra felt her eyes droop, she was simply so relaxed and tired from trying to avoid nightmares so her mind wandered off and she fell into a light sleep with rushing sound of water in her ears and the gentle tugging at her hair lulling her to rest.

_It’s raining and he is running. She can see him, the cloaked man, dashing down the darkened alleys of some nameless village attempting to lose whoever is pursuing him. He holds something tightly to his chest- a roll of parchment stained with red splatters._

_He keeps running through the back alleys until the rumbling sound of thunder crashes through the air and a blinding shard of lightning rips the skies, lighting the hooded man’s face. It’s…_

Korra awoke with a little start, still disoriented by the dream but realized she was still in the marble chair with her hair in the soothing water.

“Welcome back, Miss.” The chubby cheerful worker smiled humbly at Korra, she was probably even younger than the Avatar herself.

“Oh, hm…Sorry about that.” Korra smiled embarrassed as the details of the dream fluttered away from her mind while she awoke properly.

“Not a problem, many girls fall asleep. It just means it’s relaxing.” The girl chuckled a little. “But I am almost done so perhaps you’d like to remain awake?”

Korra nodded and blinked the sleep from her eyes and the employees carefully dried both their hairs, combing through them again and carefully styling them until Korra had a simple plait to go with the usual little bangs that framed her face; Asami, on the other hand, had her hair pinned on one side as usual and carefully braided on the other.

And that was how their morning went by. After all the careful hair indulging they returned to the lockers to dress in their own clothes, then they head out after Asami paid a hefty grey haired lady in deep green and yellow clothing at the entrance.  By then it had stopped raining but the clouds still hung heavily in the sky, completely obscuring the summer sun but they were grateful for the little respite from the rain despite the stuffy heat.

For lunch Korra was surprised when Asami led her to a small nearby little shop instead of some fancy restaurant, but she claimed it had traditional Fire Nation cooking that was divine despite the small establishment. In the end Korra agreed that the food was amazing, she had eaten Fire Nation food before but never really got used to the spicy overly garnished heavy dishes given that she was used to the simpler Water Tribe food that was more based on smooth, bitter and acidic flavors, yet Asami had been right and the little restaurant had provided an impressive array of dishes that had her drooling for more, even the overly sweet and slightly spicy dessert was heaven to the palate. The Avatar was stuffed as she hadn’t been in weeks by the time they left the place.

Korra was so satisfied that she even consented to accompany Asami on a shopping trip, she did make an enormous fuss about it and Asami didn’t seem that excited either but the raven-haired beauty stated that if it was going to be a girls day then there was some shopping she wanted to do and so Korra gave in even though she herself didn’t really enjoy the bustling stores and markets, the try-ons and decisions and the annoyingly suck-up salespeople. Still, she considered that Asami deserved the fun since Korra seemed to currently be her only female friend, since the few others had backed away when Hiroshi’s equalist scandal hit the press. Plus, Asami promised to make it up to her.

After a couple of hours she found herself carrying a two large packages while Asami carried three others, the jade-eyed woman had even insisted on buying a new outfit for Korra and chosen a particularly stunning indigo Water Tribe tunic with a boat cleavage trimmed in white fur, it went down to her knees and was open on both sides of her body all the way up to her hip, beneath the tunic she was supposed to wear an elegant and very light straight sapphire skirt that fell to her ankles and was edged in white with pearl bead embroidery and a matching sash went around her waist with the ends trailing down behind her in ribbons with little golden edges; Korra had to admit the outfit was lovely but too formal for just any occasion.

In due course they took the satomobile and headed towards Asami’s home, where they had iced jasmine tea and sweet bean paste dumplings. Asami then sat next to Korra with a little red box in her hands.

“Since we still have time, there’s a little something I’d like to try out with you.” Asami was smiling, once again looking a little excited.

“Sure, why not.” Korra wasn’t really sure what she meant by still having time but she simply nodded out of curiosity.

Asami opened the box and extracted a simple little maroon pillow, some sort of small fine file, a little square of spongy material with two different textures on each end and several tiny colorful bottles that made Korra quite curious.

“It’s a new product a former employee of ours developed. I can’t wait to try it out. Give me your hands, Korra.” Asami patted the small pillow.

“Hm…Ok, this isn’t going to be some sort of make-up thing, is it? ‘Cause I really don’t like stuff on my skin.” Korra placed both hands on the pillow still looking suspicious.

“Oh no, nothing like that. Just relax.” Asami chuckled, batting her own perfectly made-up eyelids at Korra.

The jade-eyed beauty then proceed to shaped Korra’s short fingernails, buffing the surface with the dual-ended square as the Avatar watched her speedy work with amazement and some hidden boredom. Korra had never neglected her hands, given own precious and necessary they were for bending forms but she never really paid much attention to the beauty factor of her nails, she was usually more focused on smoothing the calluses on her palms and fingers instead of shaping her nails. She saw that Asami’s own talons were perfectly even and all equally shaped in an almond tip giving her slim hands an elegant allure and the Avatar wondered if she could ever have hands as feminine and pretty as those.

It turned out, she could. Even though Korra’s nails were short, Asami managed to shape them into a simple curved edge leaving Korra’s hands to look distinctly different despite such a tiny change. It was oddly boosting for her self-confidence even though Korra had never cared for such minor vanities before.

Asami then eyed all the little bottles that seemed filled with some sort of metallic paint in multiple colors.

“I think we’ll go with something that will really pop with your skin tone and clothes.” Asami was speaking more to herself than Korra as she picked a bottle and opened it, producing a tiny brush from her box which she used with the paint to color Korra’s nails.

By the time she was done, Korra admired her drying digits. A somewhat subdued but beautiful gold color now adorned her fingertips, it was strange but Korra found she liked it, it resembled wearing little jewels on her hands but did not pose the inconvenience of real jewelry. She feared she might become a little addicted to the girlish habit.

Asami herself chose a deep crimson hue for her own nails, which fit well with her usual elegance, despite the bloody tone.

“It’s a success!” Asami clapped her hands after the paints had dried.

“It is kinda pretty.” Korra chuckled, feeling more girly then she ever had in her entire life, the sensation was a little embarrassing but fun as well.

Asami grinned and looked at the large clock over a nearby table while putting everything away in the box.

“Well, let’s go change; it’s about time to go.”

“Change? Go where?” Korra genuinely confused.

“Into your new outfit. We are going to a party.” Asami smiled secretively.

“What?! Why didn’t you tell me? I don’t really like parties, you know that. You saw me at those city functions I was dragged to.”

“You’ll like this one, trust me.” Asami was already walking towards the packages of their new purchases.

“I hope you’re right, Asami. I really am.” Korra sighed in defeated for the second time that day and got up, dragging her feet to get changed, wanting to humor her friend but really not in the mood for any more excitement.

“Oh, I am.” Asami simply kept smiling mysteriously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: Another (long) fun fact for y’all- The art painting one’s nails and finger tips for esthetic purposes has been around for well over 5000 years but the first line of nail polishes to be sold to the public was patented and released in 1920 and was based on the formula used to paint automobiles, making it a tad more metallic, heavy and streaky but very resistant. Only several decades later, in the 50’s did a more modern formula appear that popularized more matte and less streak prone nail paints. Since Republic City’s universe is vaguely based on the 1920’s I figured it would be safe to introduce this little fun-fact in a bonding scene between Asami and Korra, specially given how the satomobile was developed by Asami's family (hence the paint formula).)


	18. Party Time With Old Friends

Korra found herself in front of a large full-body three sided mirror in Asami’s quarters. The dress they had purchased was indeed lovely and despite the weight Korra had lost, it still clung appealingly to her curves. The boat cut showcased her smooth shoulders and throat beautifully, the dark indigo brought out her eyes, the deep navy boots Asami had borrowed fit perfectly and her sparkly new nails really did pop in a very unique way. She had briefly considered wearing her hair lose like she had at a certain party in her honor long ago but the memory was bitter so she kept the new hairstyle intact.

She was flattered by her friends’ efforts to be with her and she did feel like a beautiful woman for the first time in her life, after all she had never really bothered with appearances, preferring simply to be herself. It was amazing how deepening her friendship with Asami and falling in love so intensely had altered her perception of herself, even if any other day she would still be her tomboy self.

Korra had never felt prettier and yet she had never felt so sad either. Deep down she missed Noatak so much, she desperately wished he could see her then, not as the tomboyish belligerent Avatar or the caring but messy-looking healer in a cave but as the elegant woman that now looked back at her from the mirror. It was a staggering feeling, that of being so pleasingly proud and yet so terribly depressed at the same time.

To add to her discomfort she was feeling tired as she had for the last week and she had a knot in her stomach that she simply assumed was due to the fact that she had to appear in a social event, the sort of event she usually disliked with a passion.

“I was right. You really do look gorgeous.” Asami appeared behind her in the mirror as she waltzed up from behind a pretty lacquered screen with a soft smile on her features. The raven-haired woman wore a long black dress with a plunging neckline and the base of the skirt faded into deep maroon thanks to many little beads that matched the crimson sash around her waist the shawl on her shoulders.

“Thanks, Asami. You look pretty hot yourself.” Korra tried to grin but could see herself in the mirror failing dismally.

“Are you ok?” Asami moved in front of Korra with a caring expression. “Still nervous?”

“Something like that.” Korra replied avoiding her friends’ eyes.

“Korra…Everybody can tell you’ve been down. If you need to talk, I’m here you know.” Asami tilted her head down so she was looking at Korra’s eyes again.

“I know. Thanks Asami but…maybe later.” Korra took a deep breath and attempted to smile again. “Shall we go? I don’t want to make you late.”

Asami eyed her with concern for a moment then nodded.

“Alright, let’s go.”

Mere minutes later Korra found herself being ushered into a satomobile with Asami, but this time there was a driver designated to take them to their destination. She was still clueless as to where they were heading until she spotted a familiar face outside a large building.

“Bolin?” Korra nearly stuck her head out of the vehicle as she stared at the figure with slicked back hair and wearing a dark brown tailcoat suit with an emerald green vest with yellow ties and a with high collared white shirt with green and yellow trim and knotted ties, the only thing that seemed out of place but was the obvious tip-off that this was the earthbender was the fact that he had a reddish furry little creature over his shoulder.

Asami seemed distracted and didn’t answer but they soon stopped right in front of said white stone building and Korra confirmed that it was indeed Bolin that stood nervously by the entrance.

“Bolin!” She waved as he smiled and walked closer. “What are you doing here?”

Bolin smiled but seemed a little fidgety as he looked from Korra to Asami.

“I…er…Asami invited us.” He replied before leaning a little comically away and doing a little spin. “Don’t I look fabulous?”

“Absolutely.” Korra chuckled.

“But you though…” He whistled. “Wow, I mean you’re stunning!” Bolin was really backing up to admire her now and seemed to be blushing slightly.

“Thanks.” Korra didn’t know how else to reply as she too was feeling a little flustered.

“You too, Asami. Total knock-out.” Boling made a googly eyed getting-knocked-out gesture that made Korra laugh again even though she agreed.

“Thank you, Bolin.” Asami smiled politely. “I take it everyone is already inside?” Asami asked Bolin but her eyes seemed to be scouring for something near the entrance.

“Yup. Shall we?” The earthbender beckoned towards the door and all three walked up the small stairs to enter the very refined looking structure.

Korra didn’t really know what to expect but she assumed she’d find a bunch of tables scattered around and plenty of fancy dressed people lumbering around and talking or dancing to some boring ambient music. But she was so wrong.

As soon as she walked through the door, noise exploded all around her in the form of many voices.

“SURPRISE!” Everyone seemed to be trying to yell in unison but many were off timing.

Korra was stunned for a moment as she looked around. Every single face in the large bright white, brown and green marble hall was familiar- some were simply important acquaintances but most were people she knew well that brought along their own guests. She saw Tenzin and the whole family, all in formal wear that she had seen before; Lin Beifong came escorted by Commander Bumi of all people, general Iroh in the company of a lovely older lady with grey streaking her black hair, the humble tramps that had helped them so much during the war though even they wore sharp clothing today probably thanks to Asami, Mako was there in a suit much like his brother’s but burgundy instead of green and buttoned to both sides with his scarf always in place. Those were a few among many others, even Katara was there accompanying an old lady with white hair dressed in green and standing perfectly straight despite her old age. The only people missing were her parents but Korra knew they weren’t comfortable leaving the village.

There weren’t as many people as a large social event, instead this was a small but elegant party.

There was a only a single long U-shaped table at the end of the large hall and a small but competent band in a corner and hanging from the stone ceiling was a large glittering yellow crystal chandelier made in a unique cross-hatch pattern and from it hung an immense navy blue banner that stated in bold silver characters- ‘Happy Coming-of-Age, Avatar Korra’.

Korra was stunned; she didn’t know how to react to the sudden surprise. Her hands were raised to her mouth in shock and she didn’t even notice that she was crying until a tear trickled down her cheek forcing her to dash it away quickly with her palm. She had completely forgotten what day it was in her sadness of missing one man, but even if she had remembered she still wasn’t used to celebrating her birthday since it wasn’t customary among the Water Tribes except for coming of age ceremonies and she wasn’t aware that anyone knew when she was born. However when she looked at Katara, who she had also missed beyond words, she realized that she was probably the reason they all knew and although she was so very happy all of a sudden she also realized with some moved astonishment that this must the anniversary of Avatar Aang’s death, which was exactly why she avoided speaking of her birth date around those who had known the previous Avatar.

Katara was the first to approach her and Korra hugged her so tightly that she felt like a child all over again as she cried with all the sudden emotions that poured out of her. Katara was more than a mentor, she was family.

“Oh Spirits, it’s so good to see you again.” Korra finally broke the hug, staring at the aged lady that she loved so dearly while dashing furiously at her moist cheeks.

“I missed you as well, Korra.” Katara smiled as gently as always and Korra noticed she was a wearing a pretty sky blue short wrap tunic with a white sash and a long dark cobalt skirt with three rows of white fur at the bottom, along with that she wore her wedding necklace and the old woman’s hair however was knotted at the top of her head but braided behind her and missing her typical hair loopies.

Korra proceeded to greet everyone in attendance, hugging Bolin, Tenzin, Pema, the kids and Asami with extra enthusiasm until Mako surprised her by hugging her too.

“Happy Birthday, Korra.” The firebender spoke with a warmth she didn’t remember hearing from him since before she had left for those three months.

“Thanks, Mako.” She smiled and felt grateful that they were eliminating the gap that had grown between them in past weeks.

Lin Beifong was wearing a sharp deep green and mahogany dress that seemed completely out of character for her but she still looked lovely and a little stiff as she surprised Korra with a gentle one-armed hug rather than her usual polite bow and Bumi, who was in uniform, had boisterously hugged the Avatar and lifted her from the ground, he was fond of claiming that since she was the reincarnation of his father they were like family and Korra liked the sound of that.

The last people to greet her were general Iroh, who was also in uniform, the woman who accompanied him and the old lady who had come with Katara.

“Good evening, Avatar Korra. I wish to congratulate you on this happy occasion.” Iroh took her hand and kissed it lightly with polite grace before directing Korra’s attention to the woman next to him who wore a deep red dress down to her thighs with brown embroidery and a black foot long under skirt, her long straight hair was knotted at the top with a golden flame ornament but fell behind her like a curtain. “This my mother, Ursa. She was in the City for political business so I asked her to accompany me tonight.”

“It’s an honor to meet you, madam.” Korra bowed a little, well aware of the status of the lady before her.

“The honor is all mine, Avatar Korra.” The woman bowed her head equally in a sign of great respect, her voice was soft and deep with a slight rasp to it. “I wish you a good birthday and I would like to thank you for saving my son during battle.”

“It’s in the past, no need to thank me.” Korra smiled humbly, remembering exactly how she had helped and been helped by general Iroh during the war.

“I’m sorry to intrude but I’d like to introduce someone to Korra.” Katara was at her side though she smiled fondly at Iroh and Ursa, indicating they all knew each other well and had probably been catching up as they waited for Korra to start the party.

“Not at all, Katara.” Iroh bowed at the elder lady too albeit more casually.

Katara then directed Korra to the elderly woman that had accompanied her. She had white hair pillowed up behind a green and gold Earth Kingdom head-band and her fringe fell overly long over her eyes; her dress was long emerald green and lime, double layered and heavy with thin white waist ties and a matching shawl and some sort of dark metallic armlet adorned her right bicep, she looked lovely and her face was not as heavily lined as Katara’s, almost as if the lack of wrinkles indicated a lack of the facial expressions that caused them; she seemed uncomfortable in the clothing although remaining perfectly straight. But it was her eyes that drew Korra in- they were milky green and stared at nothing in blindness.

“Korra, this my good old friend Toph.” Katara smiled introducing the majestic woman.

“So, this is Twinkle-Toes’ successor, huh?” The woman spoke turning to the side of Katara that was opposite to where Korra stood. After a few moments of awkward silence she said with a sulky frown- “I’m facing the wrong way, aren’t I?”

“Yes, Toph. Here.” Katara chuckled softly at her friends’ antics and helped turn Toph in the right direction.

“It’s these darned shoes, I tell ‘ya! I never get why Lin makes me wear these things in public, everyone already knows I’m always barefoot.” With that the woman unceremoniously kicked off, and away, the aforementioned jade pumps and turned to Korra.

“Hello…Are you really _the_ Toph? Toph Beifong? Lin’s mom?” Korra’s voice rose to an excited pitch even though she knew the answer.

“Well, duh!” Toph’s tone was mocking but she grinned proudly.

“It’s such an honor to meet you! I didn’t even know you were alive!” Korra was almost jumping with excitement.

“I’d give you an autograph but I can’t write.” The old woman joked.

“Just meeting you is amazing! I heard all your stories from Katara, you were all so awesome!”

“Were? Honey, I’m still awesome!” The crone cackled before tilting her blank face towards Katara. “Is she really Twinkle-Toes’ successor? He was never this boisterous…Ok well he was, not but not as an adult like her.” Toph nudged at Katara.

“Korra is far different from Aang but the gentle heart remains the same, Toph.” Katara replied with a gentle tone.

“Twinkle-Toes? Where have I heard that before?” Korra was curious but she seemed to recall something from one of her visions about Aang.

“That’s the nickname Toph used for Aang his entire life.” Katara seemed entertained by the memory.

“Well, it fit. Always floating around so I could barely _see_ him…” Toph was muttering a little but grinning and Korra knew that by sight she meant her ability to sense things through the earth with her feet.

“So what did you call Katara then?” Korra was eager to know.

“I don’t think that…” Katara was cut short by Toph’s eager reply.

“Sugar-Princess! Among others.” Toph beamed smugly.

Korra actually laughed a little before composing herself down to snorts, not wanting to offend her master but too amused to keep a straight face.

“And as for you, kid, I think I’ll call you…” Toph slapped Korra’s arm while thinking of some nickname but flinched with a slightly puzzled look before moving her hand back instinctively and staring at nothing for a few moments of silence. “You know what? You’re too much of a mystery, I’ll decide later.” The old lady smirked knowingly before quickly changing the subject. “Happy Birthday, by the way.”

“Thanks.” Korra was somewhat mystified by the woman’s reaction but still smiled.

Tenzin soon called everybody out and they all shared a rather rowdy meal, dominated by laughter and stories about the adventures of the equalist war and Pro-Bending. There was plenty of food for all tastes given the variety of ethnicities at the table but Korra merely snacked on the lightest foods, she was enjoying herself greatly and having fun even boasting about her Pro-Bending techniques during the tales about tournament matches but war stories reminded her of Noatak so she tried to keep away from those, besides the knot she had felt in her stomach was worse than ever making her slightly nauseous; she had expected it to melt away as soon as she realized it was an intimate party and not a social event but it had gotten worse and she simply had been expertly ignoring it until the food reminded her off its existence.

By the end of the meal toasts were made in Korra’s honor and she was absolutely overwhelmed by the amount of affection and respect that radiated towards her from all sides, it was touching and she felt bad for having worrying everybody for so long but she felt awkward to have everyone praise so intimately, she would usually have boasted with pride, and maybe a little too much self-importance, and take all the praise as Avatar with little humility but when the praise became so intimate and heartfelt that she become uncomfortably lost since she felt her usual reactions would somewhat spoil the mood. However, once everyone was done she stood.

“I thank you all for being here. I thank you for your kind words, they touched me deeply, in fact I’m a little ashamed that I don’t have any words to properly reply and I know I can be a pain sometimes so I’m glad you like me all the same so what I’m saying is… Well, I am so grateful that…um…it’s hard to define.” She made a pause looking for words but found none as she blinked away the sting in her eyes. “Anyway isn’t this supposed to be a party? What are we waiting for? Let’s party!” She finished by yelling energetically and inciting people to just have fun.

Meelo, Bolin and Bumi quickly echoed her last words and in a matter of minutes everyone was sharing drinks, talking or even dancing.

Mako was trying out his firebending techniques against Iroh and for once the general acted like a young man and not a seasoned general, it was interesting to see the difference; Toph and Bumi seemed to arguing but when they both burst out laughing it became obvious that they were simply old friends and kindred spirits sharing war stories in which Lin would participate somewhat warily but with good humor, especially when Toph started speaking of…melons?

Korra herself had played around and challenged Bolin to a little match while he shared drinks with the hobos but Asami pointed out that the hall was not the appropriate place for earthbending so she gave up and eventually began entertaining the little airbender kids with waterbending shapes and effects while they made requests around her excitedly. Korra was about to demonstrate how to bend a glob of water into a spinning spiral when she felt her strength sap and the water fell with a splash as she fought to stay upright. People began to stare so she cleared her throat trying to sound normal.

“Ops, got distracted.” She rubbed the back of her head with an apologetic grin at the wet children but they laughed it off, maybe thinking she had splashed them on purpose.

Katara anticipated Korra and bent the water from the floor back to its place in an animal skin pouch with unusual grace for someone her age but all the while she was watching Korra with concerned eyes.

Bolin soon approached the embarrassed Avatar and asked to dance. Korra would have liked to have said no but Bolin seemed so innocently hopeful and gave her such puppy dog eyes that she didn’t have the heart to say no. So they danced, clumsily and loudly but it was dancing nonetheless and it made Korra smile and forget all about the waterbending failure.

After Bolin came Iroh asking for a dance and she was too polite to deny him but he was much too graceful for Korra who ended up stepping all over his feet, after all Korra was a fighter not a dancer and although she was capable of amazing grace in a fight, on the dance floor she was a menace. Every time he winced ever so slightly she would apologize and complain that she had warned him about her bad dancing but he simply smiled politely and led her in the dance floor until the song was done, like a true gentleman.

By the time she had danced with two or three more people and caused several foot bruises, Korra declared she had had enough dancing. Perhaps if Noatak had been there that might have been a very different story but he wasn’t and she felt too weary to keep up the clumsily moves, so she went to stand with Asami and Tenzin who were discussing the Council election- the final decision would be held in just a few days and Tenzin was ranting on about the qualities and flaws of the candidates when Korra approached. They included her in the conversation when she asked the name of the Water Tribe candidate that had agreed with her during the meeting she had summoned, but eventually Korra started feeling wearier and a little dizzy so she mostly spaced out during the talk.

At some point she realized Bolin and Mako had joined the conversation along with her hobo friend that she had met on her first day in the city and the latters’ loud peppy remarks were catching the attention of many of those present but she was still not really listening.

«Did I drink too much? I don’t think so but I feel dizzy…» Korra kept thinking to herself while looking into the cup in her hands.

“…agree, Korra?” Someone’s question snapped her back to reality.

“Hm?” Korra turned noticing Mako was the one asking the question.

“I said, Asami might disagree but she’d be a great Councilor, don’t you agree?” He repeated himself.

“Ah, yeah, sure do.” Korra nodded but quickly stopped since the motion made her nauseous.

“Are you ok? You look a little off, Korra.” Tenzin’s peaceful voice reached her and she looked at him.

“I’m…” But she couldn’t finish her reply. Tenzin looked blurry around the edges as her vision fogged which made her frown.

“Earthbender boy, grab her!” She heard old lady Toph order loudly and sharply from several feet away.

Bolin, who was to her right, seemed at lost for words and very puzzled and so was Korra until she saw the world spin and felt her body float to the ground against her will while everything quickly faded out to black. The last thing she felt were Bolin’s arms grabbing her before she hit the marble floor, the last thing she heard was the static of many loud voices and the stomps of many feet approaching her.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

_He was there, right in front of her, so close and yet so far away._

_She could almost touch him, almost. She reached out towards his masked features._

_“Noatak!” She tried to call out but her voice was a murmur._

_He was getting father away, he wasn’t really moving and yet the more she reached the father he got…_

_“Wait! Come…”_

Korra awoke. Her eyes were still closed and heavy as lead but she was slowly regaining consciousness. She could hear voices close by and her head was pillowed on something soft and warm but she was still too confused.

«Where am I? Where’s Noatak?» She questioned herself before memories started flooding back to her. «Wasn’t I at the party? What happened?»

Korra blinked slowly, clearing the fog from her eyes. She realized her head was on Asami’s lap, who was looking at her with concern, and they were still in the party hall.

“She’s awake!” Asami called out.

Several heads suddenly popped into Korra’s field of vision- Katara walking with Toph and Chief Beifong, Tenzin with Pema at his arm, Mako and Bolin. The only one not bearing the same worried expression was Toph, who merely looked blindly into space without a shred of worry.

“What happened?” Korra croaked out, sitting up and rubbing her still dizzy head for a moment.

“You fainted for several minutes, Korra.” Tenzin responded kindly.

“Yeah, I caught you just in time to avoid your head banging on the floor.” Bolin made mimicry of his head banging hard against his hand and Pabu mimicked that by flopping into Bolin’s arms.

“Only because Sifu Toph felt what was about to happen and warned you.” Interjected Mako.

“Thanks, everyone. I think I drank too much. Sorry excuse for an Avatar, aren’t I?” Korra laughed a little trying to lighten the tense mood and the silence in the hall but only a few people laughed along hesitantly.

“How are you feeling, dear?” Katara asked her as stood on wobbly legs along with Asami, ignoring everyone’s protests.

“I’m ok. Just tired, sorry for the scare everyone.” Korra spoke the last part loudly to the audience in general with a flustered smile. Truthfully she was feeling a little better now and totally ashamed that she had passed out in front of everybody.

In the end, despite her constant reassurances, Katara still insisted on using some water-healing just to make sure she was alright and everyone else demanded she relax for bit. She agreed with both so long as she didn’t ruin the party, it wasn’t easy but when Bumi declared the party was still on and ushered everyone back to the dance floor with good-humor and energy, the mood seemed to lighten a bit, even though all eyes were still on Korra.

The water-healing ended up being a good idea along with some overly sweet hard little Earth Kingdom confections that Katara told her to eat. In just a few minutes the headache that had started to thrum in her brain dissipated, the dizziness abated completely and she felt much more alert and less tired.

“I feel a lot better now, thanks Katara.” Korra placed her hand on the hold woman’s gently to stop the healing as she smiled with complete honesty.

“Are you certain?” Katara spoke softly.

“She’s fine, Princess. Give her some air.” Toph’s loud commanding voice came from behind them but soon she plopped herself in a seat next to Korra, still grinning.

“Well, if you say so, Toph.” Katara nodded, looking reassured.

“Quite a handful, aren’t ‘ya, brawny-babe?” Toph chuckled throatily.

“That my nickname now?” Korra grinned.

“Until something better pops up.” Toph nodded and after a moment added- “You should go home.”

“Huh? Why?” Korra felt baffled by the last comment.

“These things can’t take a lot of a girl, even a strong one like you or me.” Toph winked a blind eye in a slightly wrong direction. “You’ll need rest.”

“These things? What, the party? I can take it.” Korra was perplexed.

“Nah, not the party.” The old woman smiled knowingly.

Before Korra could speak further, Tenzin interrupted politely.

“Korra, we are going home, the children are tired and it is past their usual sleeping time. Will you come too or stay?” He enquired in a voice that told Korra he hoped she would join.

“Sure, I’ll go. No point bothering anyone else for a boat ride, right?” Korra grinned even if she knew that she could have simply slept at Asami’s home. “Just give me a sec, ok?”

Korra got up, bowing at Toph. She knew the old woman could feel movement by ground vibrations but she didn’t know if her bow would be detected although she felt a compulsion to do it anyway.

“It was a huge honor meeting you.” Korra spoke with absolute sincerity, she liked the woman a lot, they seemed to have plenty in common.

“Likewise.” Toph replied with a cocky grin that made her look years younger.

Korra walked to the middle of the hall and clapped her hands to gather everyone’s attention.

“Everyone! Thank you so much for everything but I’m probably a little tipsy and therefore I’ll go home now before I embarrass myself further. I don’t want to be the party-pooper though, so please have fun even after I’m gone. I hope to see you all soon.” Korra grinned with a little exaggerated bow, she wasn’t expecting applause but she still got some as she walked up to Tenzin and his family.

Everyone said their goodbyes and Korra said good night to all her friends leaving Asami for last, who she even hugged, maybe with unnecessary force, whispering a soft “Thank you” in her friends’ ear before she left, she knew Asami had been responsible for the whole party whether it had been her idea or not and Korra was very grateful.

The boat was a little crowed with the whole airbender family plus Korra and Katara who would be staying with them for a couple of nights but they made it to Air Temple Island in no time as salty water sprayed on their skin and warm summer wind danced on their hairs. Korra also noted that Commander Bumi wasn’t staying at the temple as he often did when he came to the city so she wondered if he would really be staying with Lin Beifong.

Once the boat docked in the little island harbor, Korra was one of the first to climb off and helped Katara out of the vessel as well. Even the fainting spell had not ruined her good mood thanks to the presence of her oldest master. She even helped prepare the room that was meant for the elderly lady, one right next to the children’s rooms which was a small relief because even though Korra loved having the kind master close by, she was glad to have a more isolated room in temple so nobody could hear when her nightmares woke her up.

Most of the children were half-asleep by the time they walked into the temple so Pema shepherded them all to bed following suit. Tenzin made sure everything in the temple was settled for the night and several minutes later followed his wife to bed, casting a still slightly apprehensive glance in Korra’s direction.

Korra herself accompanied Katara making sure the older woman was comfortable in the guest room, but before she could depart for her own quarters, her master’s voice stopped her.

“Korra.” She had a gentle but slightly warning tone.

“Yes, Katara?” She turned from her place at the door.

“Tomorrow…I’d like to talk to you.” The woman’s watery blue eyes stared right into Korra’s.

“Sure thing.” Korra smiled happily. “Good night.”

“Good night. Oh, and…Happy Birthday once again.” The old woman smiled gently before snuffing out the light.

“Thanks, Katara.” Korra whispered as she slid the door shut.

The Avatar walked absentminded towards her room, pondering all that had happened that day. She was aware that she was still in her formal clothing and by some miracle her plaited hair was still intact after the fainting scene but now that she was alone it didn’t seem to matter much anymore, what really weighed on her mind were the cryptic little things that she was only now beginning to assimilate.

At last she reached her door and slid it open carelessly but after a single step inside she froze. Her whole body was paralyzed with shock with her hand still on the door, even her lungs seemed to stop working, her eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat, all this simply because there was someone sitting on her bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: I know most fans assume Toph is deceased during the events of LoK but due to a quote by Hiroshi Sato in which he speaks about her in present simple rather than past tense, I choose to believe she might just be alive.)


	19. Happy Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Smut in this chapter.)

It seemed like hours but in truth Korra was only stunned silently for a few seconds before air returned to her chest and she blinked with surprise.

The man who sat on her bed and was currently looking directly at her was hooded and masked so she could not know for sure of who it was, but deep down she knew perfectly well and all she could think was- «Is this real?»

“You look stunning, Korra.” The deep slightly rusty voice confirmed all her assumptions as the man stood up straight clasping his hands behind his back.

“Noatak!” She wanted to scream but her voice came out barely louder than a whisper as she literally jumped into his arms.

He caught with easy grace and wrapped his arms around her as she hugged him with needless force, trying to make sure that their embrace wasn’t just one of her disturbing dreams. She could smell salt water and that typical musky cool scent that was all him, she could feel the warmth of his body in the stuffy night, she heard his slow breaths. It was real, it had to be or she would go mad.

Noatak himself refused to let go of her, for weeks he had been anxiously wishing for that moment and now that he had it he found that it was many times better than he had hoped. She had willingly run into his arms proving that she had not forgotten, proving that she still wanted him and she was clinging so tightly that he could easily tell she felt exactly the same need to be reassured of the reality of their embrace as he did. And Korra looked stunning, he had snuck in already aware of where her room was from the time Amon had taken over the island, and had quietly waited for her for so long that he had begun to fear he would not see her that night but then he heard the group arrive and a little later she had strolled in the room looking like some sort hauntingly beautiful dream. Everything about her was beyond words, the dress made her look like a queen, the scent of flowers that clung to her hair and the pretty glow on skin was celestial, every detail was simply perfect. To him she would have looked like the face of perfection even if she had been in rags but the way she looked now was like a gift for the senses.

“I missed you. Oh Spirits, how I missed you.” She spoke desperately into the embrace.

“The sentiment is mutual.”

He lifted a hand to push the new mask he wore over his head and the proceeded to tilt Korra’s lovely face so he could look into her eyes. He was surprised to find her crying and quickly swiped away the tears with his fingers before leaning to her for a kiss. Korra kissed back with desperate passion allowing their lips to meld together with need, robbing them both of breath.

At last she broke away and slapped his chest with anger but no real force at all.

“I was worried, you idiot! I told you not to make me wait too long!” She complained while once again dashing at her wet cheeks with her palms. She was amazed by how much she had cried in a single day.

“Forgive me. I came to you as fast I could after completing my tasks.” He caressed her still slightly moist cheek with a deeply scarred hand, attempting to appease her, noticing how much thinner she looked and wondering guiltily if that had been his fault. Only then did it really hit him that was no longer able to view her as the wild woman that had been his enemy, the only way he could see her was his reason for existence.

Korra relaxed into his touch for a moment with a sigh that seemed more of relief than resignation. She then examined him from head to toe; he wore clothes incredibly akin to those from the Amon days, the cut was absurdly similar but the red had been replaced by deep blue and the brown by graphite black so that his colors had become cyan, grey and charcoal. The cowl he wore was dark and trimmed with sparse off white fur and his boots seemed typical Water Tribe style, not the fluffy russet fur like Korra’s but a tough leathery brown. He was also moving freely and naturally showing no trace of any unhealed wounds left.

Finally, she broke away briefly to shut her door ensuring some privacy.

Before she could return from the entry, he was behind her and his arms went around her once more, his face rested on the crook of her neck kissing her throat slowly, almost sensuously, unable to resist how beautifully exposed it was.

“Now why has the Avatar arrived so late and dressed so extraordinarily, may I ask?” He hummed in her ear, feeling uncharacteristically amorous after six painful weeks of separation.

“If you must know, my friends threw a birthday party for me.” Korra replied with a small smile, leaning into his touch as her anger melted away.

Noatak paused for a moment. He had no way of knowing it had been her birthday but somehow he felt the day of her birth was an extremely important piece of information that he should known about and it felt terribly wrong that he didn’t. On one end he felt he had had more than enough time to enquire about it before and on the other he realized that the day this woman had been born was a day he intended to celebrate for the rest of his life because her life was the most valuable thing that he had ever encountered.

“I see.” He murmured at last. “Then I am just in time.”

With that, Noatak turned Korra and pressed her to the door with his own body as he kissed her again, more calmly and lovingly this time with his tongue gently dancing with hers.

“I bid you Happy Birthday, Korra.” He spoke between kisses.

“Right now, it’s the happiest one ever.” She replied kissing him again and again as if to make up for the weeks apart.

Exhaustion and fainting spells be damned, Korra wanted this man and she wanted him now, she needed him more than anything else in the world.

Her kisses became harsher and raw; she pushed him back without breaking the lip-locked embrace until they toppled onto her bed with the Avatar lying over the much larger Noatak. One of his legs was off the bed still touching the ground but the rest of his body was diagonally flattened out over the deep blue covers with her legs straddling his thighs and her arms still around his cloaked neck.

There was a distinct sound of light drizzling summer rain outside but neither of them cared. Korra only broke away from his lips to sit up and pull off his cloak, tossing the mask on the ground before her hands trailed his scared face that no longer seemed as severely marked as she remembered, possibly because her own perception was clouded by her feelings.

“Why are you wearing a mask again?” She asked with a semblance of tenderness even though inside she burned to touch him more with raw passion.

“I became aware that I am far to inured to shielding myself behind one and that I no longer feel comfortable out in the open, especially with my face as it is now. I believe I frightened even my own mother with such a visage.” His response was serious but his hands were trailing up her arms with sweet reverence.

“You saw your mother?” Korra was surprised; after all if the woman still lived in her home village then she must be very far away.

“That is not a tale for such an auspicious day.” He replied pulling her back down for a gentle kiss.

Korra allowed their lips to meld together again as she determined his story really could wait and her desire to touch him with all her might definitely could not. Soon she was undoing all the buttons in his clothing with impatient speed while she kicked her own shoes off and continued kissing him with unbridled desire.

Noatak could almost chuckle at her enthusiasm if it were not for that fact that he couldn’t wait to touch her bare skin again, as lovely as she looked in the outfit she wore he still wished to touch more than simply cloth. His hands found the knot of her sash and deftly untied it, pulling the offending length of fabric away and discarding it on the ground before his hands climbed up her covered thigh and hips, sliding under the tunic to reach the smooth flesh of her sides.

Korra reveled in the simple touch but his hands burned on her skin and she couldn’t take it. She broke their frantic kisses for a few moments to pull her beautiful tunic off completely and drop it unceremoniously away so she now sat over his built frame in only her chest wrappings and skirt that rose up her thighs seductively which gave her a somewhat fascinating older look while she gave him that old challenging grin of hers. She then quickly freed his belt and pulled off his own over-tunic along with all the unnecessary protective garments. He was about to pull her close again but she briskly pulled off his shirt as well leaving him before her in nothing but pants and boots.

It was quite an exquisite sight for Noatak- to see the Avatar so riled up and demanding. She anxiously kissed him again, allowing her hands to travel the expanse of his broad marked chest with demanding touches as her tongue invaded his mouth with passion and longing. His own hands had traveled up her sides and lower back, tugging at the wraps until they began untangling and sliding from her body on their own accord.

The kisses broke momentarily and her mouth found his jaw, kissing all the way up to his ear and nibbling it playfully and sensuously.

“The things I want to do to you…” She let the rest of the growled remark hang in the air teasingly.

“It appears I have awakened a dangerous side of you, Avatar.” He spoke with that hint of amused sarcasm that she knew so well. “It would seem you have me at your mercy.”

“It seems I do.” Korra chuckled, placing sweet tender sucking kisses down the column of his throat.

Noatak’s hands trailed up her back among the loose wrappings, caressing her like he would a wild animal before he found the plait of her hair and loosened it, allowing her chocolate locks to fall free, yet he couldn’t do much more as she appeared to have her own plans. Korra kissed the strong line of his collarbone sweetly before sitting up just long enough to help discard his boots and then gave him a predatory grin the likes of which he had never seen before.

She began trailing kisses over his marked chest, noting how he was quickly recovering his old well-built figure; the tips of her fingers and scintillating nails stroked down the sensitive sides of his body causing him to shift lightly with repressed tension.

“Why Noatak, are you ticklish?” She chuckled trailing her fingers in mischievous motions up and down his ribcage and sides until he was biting the inside of his cheek and shifting reflexively under her touches trying in vain to resist the provocation.

“Every human has his weaknesses.” He hissed out, trying with obvious effort not to react to the teasing.

“And yours is ticklishness?” Korra was actually laughing softly with honest innocent happiness despite the sensual situation. Who would have known that the big bad stoic mastermind could have such a lovable weakness?

“It might be one of two, yes.” He murmured out darkly as her hands finally rested at the edge of his pants.

“Oh yeah? And what is the other then?” She was smirking while yanking off the reminder of his garments with slow and yet eager tugs, the motion caused the remaining loose wrappings of her chest to drop down to her waist allowing her perky breasts to bounce free fairly enticingly.

“That would be you, Korra.” His darkly voice was steady but his ice blue eyes burned into hers and even his obvious vulnerable state of aroused nudity didn’t seem to bring an ounce of embarrassment to his features.

Korra did not know how to reply to such a statement, those simple words seemed to send little fluttery beings flying in her stomach as she suddenly became incredibly self-conscious of her own body and her impish expression nearly melted away with surprise. But in the end she recovered from the shock quickly and decided she wanted to tease him further, she might have been inexperienced but she was really no saint and there were definitely things her wild little mind she was eager to try out.

Her hands glided up his legs ascertaining that all wounds were indeed healed as she resumed the trail of kisses down his chest to his ribcage and down to the hard flat planes of his abdomen whilst her body pressed down onto his until they could feel the hard heated flesh of his shaft branding her warm supple breasts. Her hands fluttered to his thighs while she rubbed her silky skin and taut nipples to his harsh flesh and her kisses migrated lower and lower below his hip bone in slow tentative motions.

Noatak was at lost for words, he had not envisioned such a scenario nor had he predicted that Korra could be so carnal and mischievously domineering but for some reason it was incredibly arousing and he could not take his eyes off her even though his breath caught in his throat solely from the sensation of her sinuous flesh against his overheated skin.

In a split second her kisses reached his feverish rigid length, coating it with tender suckles of her lips as she mapped each little corner with obvious curiosity. Korra had never really taken the time to notice the details of that part of his anatomy in an aroused state and was quite surprised by the sheer girth and size of it, it made her wonder how in the world her body could fit so easily with his but at the same it was an undeniably sexy experience. She experimentally ran the tip of her tongue up the underside of his length and briefly looked up as his face- Noatak’s eyes were half-lidded with lust but he stared intently at her with hunger written all over his features, it was an incredible rush for Korra to see him that way because of her simple little actions.

Encouraged, Korra continued tracing his velvety skin with her tongue, exploring sensuously, leaving wet paths of saliva on his feverish skin before lapping a tiny pearl of moisture at the tip and savoring the interesting bitter tang it left on her tongue- she liked it and she liked knowing the taste of him, she liked discovering everything about him and she intended to discover his limits as well.

Noatak was actually biting down on his tongue in a desperate prideful attempt to choke the moans that rose in his throat. He didn’t know what was more arousing- the sensations of her actions on his sensitive flesh, the sight of her using her mouth in such a playful and sensual way or the knowledge she was doing it all of her own accord. It was overwhelming but when her lips closed around the velvety tip of his shaft and suctioned slowly and wetly he felt all rational thought fly right out the window he had climbed in from earlier.

Her mouth was searing hot and indescribably intense as she slowly suckled more and more of his length into her lips, allowing her tongue to swirl over his skin provocatively as she moved her head with graceful little bobs enjoying the bitter droplets of liquid pleasure that leaked from his shaft as her actions finally ripped low groans from his throat. The sounds merely seemed to encourage and excite Korra and she continued to tease him with delight, proud at the way she could make him crumble at her mercy; her teeth lightly grazed his feverish skin sending jolts of pleasure up his spine. He could feel the desire coiling inside him like a living thing about to burst out and he could barely believe she could drive him to the edge so easily.

Noatak caressed Korra’s cheek, quietly urging her to stop but she grinned naughtily and refused, in fact she actually sucked him in harder like a tasty treat she couldn’t get enough of as she fit as much of the shaft as she could into her mouth, curling her hands on the area she could not reach as she increased the tempo of her actions. His hands tangled in her hair and he groaned out her name as the pleasure rushed through his body and he found himself spilling into her mouth, branding her throat with blazing hot essence, and yet he was shocked to see that rather than feel repulsed by the unfamiliar fluid she merely swallowed as much as she could before pulling away from his body lazily with spittle threading from her lips and foggy puffs of hot breath misting from her mouth. At that moment she was most erotic thing he had ever seen and his eyes simply could not shift away from her form, even as she sat up curiously running a finger over her swollen lips with a wicked expression of smug pride.

He couldn’t take it anymore, he had enjoyed being at her mercy but it was time for retribution. He pulled her up and in one swift movement had her trapped beneath his body.

Korra saw that he seemed a little breathless and his eyes scorched with possessive want but he kissed her slowly and deeply nonetheless, savoring his own distinct flavor in the sweetness of her mouth while Korra wrapped her arms around his body kissing back almost frantically with desire as she petted the worst of the scars down his back.

“I didn’t know you had it in you…To be such a tease, I mean.” He murmured into her lips still mildly astounded but hiding it well. To him this woman was truly full of surprises.

“Consider that payback for last time.” She smirked apparently pleased with herself but at the same time seemed to be blushing and he couldn’t tell if it was from arousal or a hint of embarrassment.

He knew what she was talking about, of course. She was referring to how he had teased her and explored her when they had first made love…Another thought hit him like lightning for the second time that day as he realized that that was exactly what he did with Korra, they made love, and the thought was new to him since he had never looked at sex from that perspective before, not until he acknowledged what he felt for Korra and his whole world tilted and began to gravitate around her.

A slight smirk spread on his lips at the memories and realizations making his body respond like an eager teenager and he kissed her again before she began to think that he was snickering at her words.

“Do you know how lovely you look when you blush?” He asked as the kiss was broken and the back of his fingers travelled down her flushed cheek.

“Why don’t you tell me?” She dared.

“Impossible.” She chuckled with amusement at her rebellious streak.

“Why?” She cocked a brow at him.

“No words to describe it.” He kissed her neck, sucking the skin exactly the way that he knew would make her squirm.

Korra blushed for real this time, a little sulky at how easily this man could push her buttons, but then again, hadn’t it always been that way?

She shuddered, knowing for certain she’d have a whole new necklace of little bruises by morning but not really caring about it in the least as she tilted her head to the side and allowed him to kiss and suckle all over her neck and throat until she had to bite her lower lip to keep from moaning out.

Noatak’s hands traveled up her skin to her breasts, far too eager to dally on games this time, and began palming the soft firm mounds with his large scarred but capable hands, watching the way her back arched to press up to him anxiously. His mouth traveled heatedly down until it replaced one of his hands, caressing the cinnamon flesh with gentle kisses and nipping the little hard pebble of her nipple with slow demanding tugs of his teeth as his hand pinched and twisted the opposite nipple causing her to squirm and demand more in anxious moans. His free hand travelled down the flat planes of her belly and snuck under the edge of her skirt and undergarments, sliding slowly between her legs and cupping her heated mound. He could hear Korra sucking in her breath with expectation and it was a lovely sound, however it soon became a loud moan as his fingers slipped between her folds and stroked her moist slick sensitive center, dipping his digits into her liquid core and tapping the like pearl that made her nearly squeal, never once neglecting the aching buds of her nipples.

She was squirming and the urgent little noises that grew at the back of her throat became louder and frantic. She wanted more, demanded more, so he would comply- with swift graceful movements the rest of her clothes were flung off so she lay naked in all her glory right beneath his body.

Korra’s dark immaculate skin had a lovely glow to it and was silky smooth with the scent of flowers that seemed completely out of character for her and yet absolutely perfect and enticing as it melded with her own aroused natural scent. Her hair was entirely loose now and scattering across the dark covers of the bed; her ravenous sapphire eyes were heavy-lidded but staring at him dangerously with desire and demand.

“Don’t make me wait, Noatak.” She almost purred as he stared and caressed her sensitive skin.

He complied and kissed her deliciously plump lips again, molding their bodies together in a deliberate heated grind of sexual tension until her legs were wound around his hips and her arms wrapped around his neck allowing her body language to express exactly what she wanted. Noatak took the hint and while one of his hands gripped her by the hip, the other was in her pretty hair as he drove his body to hers, filling her sweet, melting hot, soaked core with his rock hard shaft with such impulsive momentum that the kiss was broken among gasps of abrupt pleasure.

Korra’s eyes shut at the sudden rush of sensations but Noatak kissed her again, swallowing the loud moans that escaped her throat as they moved together in perfect synchrony, undulating and thrusting in primal passionate ways as if dancing along with a tune as old as love itself.

They rolled on the bed and suddenly Korra was over his body, straddling is hips and grinding her body to his with uncontrollable lust and all he could do was hold her hips and squeeze her beautiful heart-shaped rear as he gave her exactly what she wanted with intense wanton movements.

Suddenly, Korra head was thrown back instinctively, tossing her wild hair around her as her chest thrust out; she continued to ride his body almost frantically and bit her lip so hard to hold back breathless screams that she was certain it would bruise but it didn’t matter because her whole body was seizing with electrical pleasure and fireworks exploded behind her eyelids as she climaxed, feeling the world spiral around her fantastically and droplets of perspiration glided down her back. She looked like a mirage, one of pure lust and gorgeous beauty and the sight as well as the sensation of her body rippling around his sent Noatak over the edge too and he allowed the tidal wave of pleasure to consume him completely as he too swallowed back moans and groans of divine overwhelming pleasure.

At last she gingerly lay over him, both of them breathlessly panting and embracing with their limbs feeling almost numb from the overpowering sensations but both their grins denoted how very well sated they truly felt.

“Korra, control yourself.” He whispered with amusement after a moment upon seeing how she was causing beads of their sweat to float midair and sparks of fleeting flame sparkled around them.

“Sorry…” She mumbled into his neck with a tone that said she was just as amused but the bending ceased immediately and the room was once again bathed only in only the pale light of the swelling moon that filtered in through the half-open window.

The minutes rolled by as they lay in comfortable elated silence, reveling each other’s company and still embraced despite the nocturnal summer warmth, detecting at last that there was a faint drizzle of dying rain being whisked away by the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: Another silly historical fun fact- Modern style brassieres have been around since the 14th century but were only recognized as garments in 1893 and only began to be mass produced in 1912. However, in many Asian cultures woman remained faithful to the wrap system well into the twentieth century. Since people involved with Water Tribe and Air Nomad culture in LoK and A;TLA seem to remain loyal to traditional clothing I assumed it worked that way for undergarments too.)


	20. Masks

“You’re hot.” Korra commented and looked up at his face, both of them still basking in the afterglow of pleasure.

“Shall I take that as a compliment…?” Of course Noatak knew what she was referring to but she was too easy to tease with her own words.

“N-no, I mean…Well yes, you could take it that way but it’s not what I meant…Not that I don’t think you are…” She was stumbling on her words. Easy to tease indeed.

“I know, Korra.” He ended her tripping rant easily with calm words, pushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

“Good. I meant…” She touched his overheated cheek. “Your skin.”

“It’s to be expected. It is not easy to control body temperature with burnt flesh.” He was speaking with casual practicality, but the slight disheartened look on her face made him add- “It’s not so hard, I’ve gotten used to it.”

With that he kissed her forehead, wiping away the frown that was starting to form.

“Well, ok I guess.” She rolled off his body to lie cuddled to his side and lay her head on his shoulder tracing his scarred chest quietly.

“Interesting hue.” He beckoned to her caressing fingers, indicating the gilded nails. “I never took you for one who appreciated such things but it does indeed look charming.”

“You could just say I look cute, you know?” Korra chuckled at his formal vocabulary.

“Unfortunately I’m afraid ‘cute’ does not qualify strongly enough to describe you, Korra.” He replied with the usual possessive dark tone that sent shivers up her spine.

“Um…thanks?” She chuckled proudly.

“No need.”

She nuzzled her nose to his neck, once again wondering if it wasn’t all just a pleasant dream for a change, but the thought quickly slipped her mind as they turned their sluggish bodies, lying comfortably with her back to his chest. Somewhere down in her unconscious mind she knew they couldn’t stay like that forever, he would have to leave before morning came, but she just wanted it to last, she wanted desperately that a day would arrive when they could sleep in each other’s arms without having to care about anyone else.

Noatak was thinking something along the same lines as Korra, but his realistic mentality shaped his contemplations so that he feared such a day where they could openly be together might be many years away. His hand traced up her side distractedly before something drew his attention and broke his line of thought.

“I never asked how you acquired this.” He traced a light diagonal scar on the left side of her ribcage.

“What?” She tilted her head to look at the scar. “Ah, that.” She scowled. “You don’t want to know.”

“Tell me.” He insisted.

“Tarrlok.” She shrugged mildly annoyed at memory, she didn’t want to remember the man the way she did from that fight because she hated him with a passion then; she preferred to remember him at that moment in the Air Temple attic, no matter how pitiful he looked, because he had been decent then. “Didn’t heal as well as the others, those didn’t scar.”

“I see.” His tone was grave. “After he had your friends arrested?”

“Yeah, tried to blackmail me. We fought. Ended up abducting me. You know the rest.” She was getting irritated and it threatened to spoil the mood.

“Did he bloodbend you?” Noatak didn’t know why he was asking, it was obvious she didn’t want to talk about it anyway and even though he wasn’t fully aware of what had happened he was certain his brother could never have won against Korra without their cursed skill.

It was just that that tiny scar made him remember that he hadn’t been the only man to hurt her and somehow he couldn’t help but feel bitter at the memory of his brother for that simple fact and nothing else. After all, hadn’t Tarrlok sworn never to bloodbend again? Noatak could understand that against Amon he would have to but why would his brother abandon his ethics against the Avatar? The answer was simple- corruption and power, plus an angry Korra was a force to reckon with. But it still stung him that she had had to suffer so much from both sides.

“I think that much is obvious, he would never beat me with just ice and water.” She huffed then tried to grin with sarcasm. “Sorry to say you weren’t my first in that department, buddy.”

“So am I.” He murmured heavily, not really finding the joke funny.

Korra looked around for something to change the subject and her eyes suddenly fell upon the mask on the floor, not far from the bed and she reached for it without having to leave the embrace, even though she snuggled closer to him afterwards. She held the light object in her hands, gazing at it for a moment.

“Pretty different from what you’re used to, isn’t it?” She waved the mask at him.

“I wanted something as far from Amon’s symbolism as possible.” He stated firmly.

Korra noted that it wasn’t all that different though since the polished wooden mask had the exact same shape and cut as the original, everything else however was different- rather than being painted, it was completely dyed blueberry black; although the carved lines in it were quite similar in shape to Amon’s mask, they were still distinct and held the original cayenne color of the wood, the designs were filled in with an ashy charcoal color and instead of the crimson sun orb it had a slightly smaller carved yin yang symbol shaded only in the same black dye and a delicate silver ink that seemed to only be visible in the right light,

“Where did you get it? Why black?” Korra asked curiously as her fingers trailed the carved surface of the emotionless mask.

“A person quite dear to me made it. It is dark because that stands out a lot less in the shadows.” His answers were cryptic but logical and the bad atmosphere that had been building up seemed to dispel quickly.

“A person dear to you?” There was a hint of possessiveness in Korra’s voice. “May I ask who?”

“Is that jealousy in your tone, Avatar?” He looked at her with a slight shadow of amusement in his features.

“Are you going to answer?” She sulked, pouting childishly.

“My mother.” Noatak tapped Korra’s forehead teasing her for her youthful jealousy. How could she suspect anything else? He couldn’t believe any other woman would look at him the way Korra did, not anymore, not even if he wanted it, which he did not.

“Oh, yeah you mentioned her earlier. So she’s alive?” Korra felt her cheeks heat a little and tried to deflect the subject.

“Yes... She’s no longer the same woman she used to be but she is alive. Living with a cousin’s family in our village but alive and well.” There was something sorrowful in his voice but Korra had no way of knowing what caused it.

“So that’s where you went for these six weeks?” She was curious.

“Not entirely but I did spend a few weeks with her, yes.” He was replying absentminded, he wasn’t accustomed to speaking so openly and freely about his private life with anyone but Korra was the one person who owned the right to hear his private thoughts. “I promised I would not let so long pass before I see her again. Nineteen years is too long.”

Korra nodded looking at his bitter expression, she didn’t really want to spoil the mood, she was just too naïve and pushy to know when to drop a subject.

“You told her about Tarrlok?” She questioned diffidently.

“I told her about everything.” He returned his attention to Korra again and she could tell he meant that statement in all seriousness. “I fully expected to be shunned but not only did she recognize me despite my disfigured state, she took me back with open arms and fretted for my safety even after I told her the entire story.” He seemed fairly astonished.

“That’s what mothers are for, I guess.” Korra smiled. “How did she react to…well…” Korra hesitated.

“Tarrlok’s death? She was heartbroken and shattered. She alienated herself for a few days, I don’t think she wanted to accept neither his death nor his actions in the city but in the end she dealt with it. I’m sure she will mourn for many years but by the time I left she seemed to be coping well.” He was once again replying with bitter endurance.

Korra didn’t want to voice out that although he spoke as if his mother was the one suffering, she was sure Noatak himself was suffering even more from guilt and resentment behind that stoic air of his.

“I see… I kinda wanted to know about your dad though. Like, did she have any idea that he was the reason you left in the first place?” Korra knew she was touching a nerve but she wanted to understand Noatak, she wanted to know how he stood with his whole family now that the issue was being buried.

“I meant it when I said I told her everything, Korra. She really had no idea, perhaps she had suspicions in the past but she loved my father to the point of blinding herself to his flaws and the realization of what he really had been must have been like a slap in the face. Still, she continues to honor his memory and states that she holds no sour feelings and continues to love her family. She is a puzzling woman but a gentle one nonetheless.” Once again he seemed astounded.

Noatak had always prized himself for the ability to read people, it was a necessary trait for a leader and a strategist especially one that needed to manipulate people one way or the other during stressful times of war, but now he wondered just how good those abilities were, after all Korra continued to surprise him and his mother was a confounding puzzle, he just could not comprehend how a person that had been deceived, lied to, robbed of her loved ones and betrayed could be so sympathetic and not hold a single shard of hatred in her soul.

“I guess it was a necessary visit; though maybe not a very good one for you.” Korra was watching the unreadable expressions that crossed his face.

“Not at first, of course. Much pain had to be endured and we had to mourn but the whole experience was cathartic and liberating. In the end it was, at lack of a better word, pleasant. Joyful even, to be reunited with her was something I had given up long ago.” He relaxed a little as if the topic was starting to bring better memories.

“Well, that’s good then.” Korra smiled again but waved the mask again with mild curiosity. “You said she made this? She’d pretty skilled but I don’t get the symbolism.”

“I planned on making one myself but she offered to do so and I hadn’t the heart to refuse and since she is quite good at such crafts I didn’t see the harm in indulging her.” Noatak traced the mask as well, remembering the details of the story before continuing. “When I stated I wanted its meaning to be different from what I wore before she requested the original design and I supplied it. She later explained that she decided to keep the structure similar for practical and comfort reasons, she intended the color to be a classic Water Tribe blue but over dyed it to black to keep the allegory neutral and because it’s more discreet in the shadows.” Noatak remembered for a moment how by the time the elderly woman had explained this he had truly seen that she understood him and what he intended to do despite all the unspoken words, it had fascinated him how deeply she could read him after so many years in naïve ignorance and it amazed him how such an innocent could read all his darkness.

“And this?” Korra pointed to the yin yang design, breaking him out of his memories.

“That was for you.” He replied and upon seeing her puzzled look he added reluctantly- “I told her about you, what you are and what you seeked when you found me, how you saved and changed me. I explained how we were polar opposites but I have grown to need you and love you. I said that you were the light to my darkness, the good to my evil, the mercy to my cruelty, the love to my hate.” Noatak leaned forward to her and gave a significant and absolutely honest gaze. “She thought the symbol for balance, duality and completion would be appropriate for us.”

Korra was stunned silent for several long instants. He did not seem the slightest bit vulnerable when he spoke so earnestly but the implications of his words ran deeper than she had expected startling her at his intensity and devotion but at the same time a proud warm sense of being loved bloomed in her chest and she couldn’t resist rolling over and hugging him, with her nose affectionately rubbing to his.

“Noatak, you sure have a way with words.” She kissed him sweetly before cuddling back to his body.

“I merely answered you questions.” He held her and kissed her back, finding her reaction truly loveable.

Korra smiled smugly and closed her eyes. Now that the exciting high was fading she was starting to feel the exhaustion she had pulled back returning in full and the vertigo was tapping at her body again, not in the spinning room sense but more in a way that seemed to make everything tremble and slip a little around her; but all that didn’t take away her good mood, she felt happier than she had been in weeks.

“What else have you been up to?” She murmured into his neck a little sleepily.

Noatak was silent for a moment, reluctant to reply, and then noticed she seemed just barely conscious.

“Rest, Korra. We shall talk more on another occasion.” He closed his own eyes and stroked her hair in that way they both had become so fond of.

“You’ll be gone by the time I wake up, won’t you?” There was hurt in her drowsy voice.

“I won’t be far and we will see each other soon, I assure you.” His hands still petted her hair, his tone reassured her.

Korra just nodded, she didn’t really believe her tired but relaxed brain could process any more information and his petting hands were lulling her to sleep, slowly but surely pulling her into the dark realm of dreams.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

_There are masks, everywhere, all around her. Each of them goading her, each of them attacking with hatred and disgust._

_“Useless…Reckless…Incompetent…Dense…” The masks echo around her filled with malice and spite._

_But they are not masks, they are faces. Old and young, human and beast, they surround her, closer and closer until she can feel their putrid revolting breath like slime all over her body. But she can’t move, no that’s not it, she can move but she mustn’t, not a single muscle._

_“Such a disappointment…” The faces echo, over and over until her head is hammering with the words and the rotten air twists her stomach like a punch in the gut._

Korra woke up, staring at the ceiling of her room and panting for air. Once again she was panicking, even as the dream degraded into mere flashes in her mind she could feel the putrid stench in her nose and the fear gnawing at her nerves.

She looked around trying to still her drumming heart and her revolted stomach and noticed that she was alone once again. But Noatak had not been a dream, she could feel it in her body and she was nude on her bed, despite the fact that he had pulled the covers over her before he left. The window was ajar letting in the cool morning breeze in the foggy hours of early sunrise and her clothes had been carefully pilled at the foot of the bed.

The Avatar sat up, pulling her knees to her chest and hugging herself reassuringly, still trying to steady her breathing but the panic was poking at her chest like a blunt dagger and the fact that she was about to retch again did not help soothe her nerves in the least.

“Calm down, Korra. Calm down. Just a dream.” She recited to herself in a grating whispering voice, secretly grateful that nobody was around to see her. “Calm down, no reason to freak out.”

She didn’t understand. She thought the nightmares were a product of her fear, worry and longing for Noatak but he was back, she knew he was and she was so happy for it, and yet the nightmares were still there. The last one had been distinctly different, in theme and development, but it was more terrifying and vivid than ever, leaving behind flashes that made her stomach roll every time she allowed herself to consider them.

«Oh no.» She thought mere seconds before lunging towards the window, heaving and retching. There really was no vomit just bile and spit, but the way her stomach clenched made her wish she would just faint again and get it over with.

After several minutes of torture the misty morning air and the smell of the sea seemed to calm her enough that she could simply collapse against the wall by the window with her head in her hands, taking deep breaths while the fragile rays of early morning sun caressed her face. She felt terrible.

“Ok, enough! I should be celebrating.” She spoke to no one in particular and took a deep breath of morning air.

Korra decided that she was going to be happy that day, whether her body agreed with her or not.

She got up warily and dressed in her sleeping tunic then grabbed her clothes and headed to the bathing room. It was very early and nobody seemed to be up and about yet after the late arrival the night before, so she took her time to wash the terrible taste of bile off her mouth and then slipped into the bath. Given how early and cool it still was, the hot water actually felt good on her stiff and worn out body but as she gazed at her reflection in the water she realized she was in trouble, she hadn’t really cared the night before but now that she noticed all the dark little marks of her skin she thought that she should have been a little more careful, after all what would people think if she showed up for breakfast covered in hickeys? It would be pretty disrespectful, whether she lied or not, to have it revealed that she had a lover sneak into the temple in the middle of the night for a little tryst… She shivered at the mental image that conjured up and congratulated herself for having decided to bathe so early, before anyone noticed the state she was in.

She finished washing up and dried her body the old fashioned way with a towel then she dressed, cleaned up and headed to her room again. Once she was back in the safety of her quarters she grasped that the summer top she had been wearing attracted too much attention to her blotched skin, so she changed into her old high collared sleeveless top, luckily that along with her armbands seemed to cover all the marks successfully with the exception of her slightly swollen lip where she had bitten too hard.

«Not bad, Korra.» She thought before her stomach growled, making her realize how hungry she felt now that the nausea had abated.

She carried herself off to the living area and noticed Pema was already up and fixing breakfast- the smell made her mouth water regardless of the fresh pinch of queasiness in the bottom of her gut.

“Good morning.” Korra greeted cheerfully, feeling her mood quickly shift in a much brighter direction.

“Good morning. Someone seems high-spirited today.” Pema smiled with a little hint of relief.

“I had a pleasant night.” It was true for the most part. The evening party had been wonderful and Noatak’s return had been exhilarating, obviously all that joy overpowered the terribly dreams and horrid awakening so Korra did not have to lie.

“That’s good.” Pema replied, pouring hot water into a ceramic tea pot which filled the air with the delicious scent of freshly brewed tea.

“Can I help?” Korra enquired.

“Could you please go wake the children? I let them sleep late because of last night but it’s time they got up.”

“Sure.” Korra nodded.

She hummed as she walked about the temple and reached the corridor where the children’s rooms were located, but Katara was already ushering them from the room, with Rohan in her arms, babbling incoherently.

“Good morning.” She greeted everyone with a smile that seemed to lighten everyone’s sleepy mood. It was then that she became aware of just how obvious her feelings had been, if even the children showed such relief to see her smiling honestly again.

“Korra’s back!” Meelo actually hugged her, still sleepy, a little drooled and sluggish, making her laugh a little.

Everybody else just said good morning and Katara was smiling benevolently as she passed Rohan onto Korra and they walked towards the delightful smell of food. Ever since the first babysitting disaster Korra had learned how to properly hold Rohan and now held him with her usual confidence.

It was an enjoyable meal. The Avatar felt that food hadn’t tasted this good in weeks and her mood was infectious. Soon they were all engaged in cheerful conversation about the previous evening while eating with gusto. Once again Korra felt at home and this time it was better than ever.


	21. Vision

Korra had settled at the gazebo overlooking Yue Bay and had been sitting there cross-legged ever since breakfast. She was happy and at peace, albeit eager to see Noatak again, and the weather had cleared completely letting the summer sun shine blindingly again, so she decided she might as well take advantage of the good mood to meditate and try to obtain answers concerning her disturbing dreams.

Meditation had never ever been Korra’s forte and after three hours of slow controlled breathing sitting in lotus position with her fists pressed to each other and her eyes closed, her legs were going numb and she was just about to give up out of sheer boredom and frustration. That’s when it happened all over again.

Just like when she had been trapped in a metal box by Tarrlok, flashes began pouring into her mind at unearthly speed. Even if she had wanted to break the meditative state she couldn’t, she was trapped in a whirlwind of images.

_There’s a young boy with Air Nomad tattoos, an older Water Tribe young man, a young man with a scarred eye, a flying bison, a young woman with white hair, a familiar looking Water Tribe girl with hair loopies and snow, so much snow, flashing in the images until the visions still into a single scene._

_The Air Nomad boy and the Water Tribe girl are speaking by a pond where two koi fish swim in hypnotic circles. There are others, but she’s not paying attention to them._

_«Katara!» Korra realizes. «Then that must be…»_

_Her thoughts were confirmed when the young Katara called her companion by the name Aang. They spoke about something…A spirit, she realizes…The moon…_

_«Yue?» Korra asks herself. «No…They are looking for the earthly form of the spirit so this must be before Yue became…»_

_At some point the boy had taken a meditative stance himself and is now immersed in an otherworldly glow, unaware of the noise and fighting raging around him._

_She is pulled into a world where everything is alien to her, where the laws of nature, of sanity itself, don’t seem to apply. Wild forests with trees and plants she has never seen seem to trap her in a maze of danger and wonder, creatures of legend and ghosts peep out with glowing eyes in every corner and the air itself seems to be inexistent. This world is wrought with danger and a sense of helplessness, but is also frothing with power, peace and awe-inspiring wisdom._

_«Am I witnessed the search for the Moon Spirit? Is this the Spirit World?»_

_Before the answer comes to her mind, the vision shifts and the amalgam of faces from her nightmare are screaming at her again, drowning her in putrid breath and a sensation of hundreds of sharp insect-like legs seems to crawl all over her body._

Korra’s snapped out of the trance with a scream, sweat drizzling down her forehead and fear pumping in her veins like poison.

Her startled eyes darted around and she ascertained that she was still alone in the gazebo, panting for breath and clutching her nauseated stomach, trying to shake the disgusting feeling of crawling bugs from her skin while a headache started to settle in from having snapped out of the meditative state too fast. It was horrible, it all felt too horrible and Korra could tell she was almost about to break down crying for no reason whatsoever.

“Korra? Are you alright?” A gentle elderly voice fluttered in the air, it was comforting but startled her nonetheless.

“Katara!” Korra turned suddenly, watching her elderly master enter the gazebo with a worried expression. “What are you doing here?”

Korra was still panting but blinked away the unshed tears and swallowed down the rising bile before standing on shaky legs, trying to pass off the vertigo as muscle cramps.

“You missed lunch and after a while I came to find you and heard you scream, child. Is everything alright?” Katara approached her still speaking with gentle concern.

“I’m…” «fine.» she wanted to finish but the lie wouldn’t leave her lips and she was shaking precariously.

“Here. Let’s sit.” Katara sat on the edge of the pagoda’s entrance and motioned for Korra to join her.

The Avatar nodded and sat carefully next to the aging master, clutching her fingers in her lap and slumping her shoulders. The sun was starting to dip west, indicating that noon was long gone.

“Ka-Katara…I think I just had a vision from Aang’s past. Or maybe…I don’t know, it wasn’t like the time about Yakone, it was more jumbled.” Korra finally broke the silence with a shaky voice.

“What happened?” The old woman asked with concern.

“I…I’ve had…nightmares. I wake up in a terrible panic every time. I thought I had found the cause and solved it, but it didn’t work. I came here to meditate but was about to give up when…” She hesitated, not really knowing the weight of her words anymore.

“Yes, Korra?” Katara urged patiently.

“I had a vision from the past. Last time this happened I was desperate and trapped during the war and I saw Yakone and Aang, I saw what happened and I didn’t understand but it was the solution to an important mystery. It was a warning.” Korra felt it important to emphasize the previous experience before she explained the current one. “But even though that vision was intense, I was fine. This…this is a whole other level.”

“I won’t ask what you saw if you don’t wish to tell me, Korra. But why did it upset you so?” Katara seemed understanding.

“No, the vision wasn’t bad. I saw…I _think_ I saw some of what happened in that story you told me, the one where Aang went into the spirit world to find out where the Moon Spirit was… but then…I…I don’t know!” She smacked her hands on her aching head and grabbed her hair in frustration. “I don’t know.” She repeated just a bit softer. “The emotions it all spilled into me…I can’t…” She was hyperventilating again, speaking of the issue was even worse that just enduring it.

Katara’s warm wrinkled hand caressed her back soothingly until Korra could breathe again.

“What does it all mean, Katara? Is it a warning or a threat?” Korra looked desperately at her master.

“Korra, I wish I could help you but my experience doesn’t seem to apply. I can enlighten you about Aang’s past as the Avatar but the way you experience these things is much different from him and as the Avatar it is your task to find the right path into understanding and controlling your abilities, all of them.” Katara was giving a solemn but mostly unhelpful speech and it seemed to grief her that she couldn’t help further.

“I know all that already! I just…I’m scared.” Korra hugged herself.

“I understand, Korra.” Katara gently guided Korra into her arms and the old woman hugged her reassuringly, still rubbing circles on the Avatar’s back. “I know it’s confusing but until the time comes when you have to worry, I think you shouldn’t let these visions disrupt your life. Aang had to learn that the hard way, self-conscious worrier that he was and with no one alive with experience to guide his path, but I hope you with your free spirit and impulsive positivity will be able to live in the moment.” Katara smiled gently.

Korra looked into the warm wise eyes of the elderly master and thanked the Spirits that she had someone like Katara to guide and reassure her, she knew Aang had never had that chance because after a hundred years frozen in ice all the people who had known Avatar Roku had long since passed away. Korra was grateful for what she had.

“Thank you, Katara.” Korra murmured earnestly after several silent moments trying to compose her thoughts.

She was still queasy and her head was hammering but she felt calmer, Katara was right, she had to live in the moment and file up what she saw for when she needed it, for when it would all make sense. Still, what if it was a warning that she couldn’t decipher? Would she pay a price later?

«Don’t think that way.» Korra chided herself.

“I see you are still distressed. That’s no good for you now. Come, an old friend always said a good cup of tea can ease anything.” Katara smiled rising to her feet and extending her gentle hand to Korra.

The Avatar nodded and accepted the offer, walking gingerly with the elder until they were back in the temple and just as Katara was preparing some tea, Korra remembered something from the previous night.

“Hey, last night, didn’t you say you needed to talk to me?” Korra was kneeling at the table watching as the skillful master bent the boiling water into a tea pot and it on the table along with a jar of cool water.

“Ah yes, I did, but now is not a time for that, you are much too shaken.” Katara smiled kindly and set a cup in front of Korra before sitting next to her.

“What do you mean? What was it about?” Korra’s curiosity was peaked and she blew on the surface of the steaming drink, hoping it would settle her anxious stomach.

“Just something my dear friend Toph noticed last night. Don’t let it worry you.” Katara sipped on her own drink mysteriously.

“Ok now you have to tell me.” Korra sipped the hot drink which was a mistake since it burned on her swollen lip making her wince.

“Bit your lip, didn’t you?” Katara smiled.

“D-don’t change the subject.” Korra pouted.

“I’m not trying to.” The old woman still smiled cryptically but something akin to worry seemed to taint her features. “Here, allow me.” Katara moved her hands bending some water from the jar onto her hands.

The liquid began to glow softly and Korra tipped her head obligingly and allowed the master to heal the minor wound.

“Thanks.” Korra sat straight again and smiled, sipping her tea more naturally now.

“Maybe I should heal those bruises on your neck too.” Katara offered with good humor.

Korra spit out her drink, literally spraying tea all over the table and toppling down her cup before she began to cough after having choked a little with shock. Katara merely patted her back softly, her wise eyes crinkled with amusement.

“Those…How did you…? Those are fine, no need to worry.” Korra ranted out flustered and still coughing.

“I’m sure they are.” Katara bent the water back into the jar carefully. “And as for how I noticed them…call it an educated guess.”

“What? How?” Korra was looking dumbfounded at her master.

“Oh don’t worry. My lips are sealed.” Katara’s warm voice was as honest as ever as she raised a finger to her lips in complicity but Korra still couldn’t relax.

Katara had simply noticed that after so long moping around like everybody had had witnessed, today the Avatar seemed unusually cheerful and popped up with a badly bitten lip and a large appetite. Those facts coupled with something the old lady might have overheard between two of Korra’s friends at the party the night before had made things click into place. After all, the others at the temple might be a little clueless but the experienced Katara could put two and two together.

“You’re not…You know…Angry or disappointed or something?” Korra quickly wiped the wasted tea off the table as she spoke in a hurry.

“Korra, I made a lot of wrong judgments in my youth so I try not to judge now. You’re a good person and I believe I have taught you well in far more than waterbending and healing so I expect you can make your own decisions as a woman now and I trust that you have your reasons to keep secrets.”

The amount of faith the wise woman seemed to have in the young Avatar was staggering, Korra felt herself developing a whole new level of admiration for Katara and the gratitude she felt was immense. She hoped that one day soon she could tell Katara all about Noatak, she hoped the aging woman would be able to understand what she saw in him, she desperately wanted to have their feelings validated by the people she cared about, but deep down Korra still wasn’t ready, she knew it was too soon to let her secret out and she feared for Noatak’s safety, so she took Katara’s vow of confidence with a grateful heart.

“Thank you, Sifu Katara. You humble me.” Korra wasn’t used to being so polite and formal, after all Katara was like a grandmother to her, but she felt it was the only way to convey her respect. However, she still hugged the woman tightly with all the affection she could muster.

“You haven’t called me that in years, now I know this is serious.” Katara joked but hugged Korra back gently with her typical smile. “How I miss the days it was ‘granny Katara’.”

“You’ll always be my granny Katara in my heart.” Korra smiled, feeling a little moved and blinking away the sting in her eyes. She really didn’t understand why she kept getting so emotional but right now she didn’t mind in the least.

At last Katara seemed to not have a reply. Her eyes mirrored the same emotion that ruled Korra’s orbs and she patted the young woman’s cheek nostalgically, remembering the little tomboyish, reckless, head-strong mischievous child she had watched grow up into a beautiful, impulsive, stubborn and pure-hearted young woman.

They finished the tea in companionable silence, with the original topic of conversation all but forgotten, until the children came barging in.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

Dinner was a lot more fun than usual. Commander Bumi had stopped by the Air Temple to enjoy the rare opportunity to dine with his brother and mother together and his naturally eccentric nature made the meal a unique experience.

But Korra’s mind wasn’t on the food or the stories or laughter. She was thinking of what she had overheard just before dinner. She was finishing helping Pema with dinner when she was asked to call the children, but as she walked towards the room where they played she overhead Katara’s voice.

She had had no intention of spying and just wanted to check what was happening but when she peeked in the room, Katara was on the telephone.

“Lin? Yes, I’ll talk to her.” There was a small pause. “Toph? I can’t hear you.” There was pause and a distant sound like someone yelling on the other end. “I didn’t mean you have to scream, you probably have the receiver upside down, just turn it around Toph.” Katara spoke loudly into the phone then paused. “Yes, that’s better. Yes, I know you like to yell but there’s no need to…” Katara listened to the person on the other end for a few seconds. “No, I haven’t talked to her about it yet.” More silence. “Because the right opportunity hasn’t come yet, Toph.” Again, a pause. “I understand that…Yes, I know these new apparatuses are confusing for you…Yes, if you wish I’ll visit you, I didn’t plan to stay here long but I might have to and I would hate to lose a chance to see my good friend…” A small silence stretched out for a few seconds. “No, Toph, not because we can ‘kick the bucket’ any moment as you so ominously put it, I just miss your company.” There was a much larger pause and Katara chuckled softly. “Very well, oh mighty Melon Lord, I shall be expecting thee.” She joked before adding on a more somber note- “Thank you, Toph. I’m sure everything will be alright.”

After that cryptic conversation, Katara had said her goodbyes and Korra, realizing she had been eavesdropping, had rushed off to collect the children for dinner.

And that was why at the moment she was rising her chopsticks to her mouth distracted enough not to notice that the piece of tofu she had been aiming for had fallen off them. She wonder who Katara had been speaking about, maybe she meant Korra herself since she had mentioned she wanted to speak about a matter Toph had noticed…But what could Toph possibly have noticed that was so important?

“What are you thinking, Korra?” Jinora asked, snapping the Avatar from her musings.

“Oh, nothing. Just spacing out.” Korra replied giving the young girl a broad smile.

“Am I boring you with my stories of little Tenzin, Avatar Korra?” Bumi joked, after having told a rather hilarious tale about a time a very young Tenzin had sneaked into Toph Beifong’s home to play with a little Lin far past bedtime and had been forced to hide over an air marble to escape the magnificent fury of master Toph, only to be accidentally exposed by a teenage Bumi himself.

“Not at all, I’m fact I’m enjoying myself.” Korra smiled in all honesty as she, Jinora and Ikki got up to clear the table.

After dinner, a much chagrinned Tenzin gathered a Pai Sho board for a game with his brother. It soon became obvious that the non-bender had an upper hand both in experience and by the fact that his loud personality distracted Tenzin, but they enjoyed playing anyway. On the other hand, Pema and the children were entertained by Katara with stories that Korra had heard time and time again about what the old master affectionately dubbed the Gaang.

Korra excused herself politely, claiming to want to check on Naga, and as she walked lazily outside and past the gazebo she shuddered reflexively. She had already informed Tenzin about her vision, wanting to share the meditation progress with her master, and was grateful that he had not asked many questions since she did not want to re-think about what she had seen and felt, then again she had claimed she was still figuring out what she had seen, so it was only natural that he would give her space.

The moon was already past the half-full stage and lighted the night quite beautifully as Korra walked quietly. She was already thinking of when she’d see Noatak again- would he come that night after everyone was asleep? Would he wait a few days? If so, how many? She already missed him too much to bear.

She walked into the enormous pen that was Naga’s home on the island and stopped dead on her tracks because she saw somebody was sitting in the darkness of a corner and she was willing to bet she knew who.

Korra moved closer and her suspicious were confirmed. Before the person could rise up completely from the ground she practically jumped onto him, pushing him onto the ground.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, snaking her arms around his neck and nuzzling his masked face.

She was facing him and sitting over his folded leg, his other leg was bent up at the knee for leverage and she pressed to him with her legs stretched out on either side of his hips. Her pose was absolutely childish but his arms embraced her nonetheless and his fingers laced behind the middle of her back as if to trap her.

“I was waiting for everyone to retire for the night.” Noatak replied in a low voice.

“I’m so happy you’re here.” And she was, it had been a confusing day and his presence calmed her worries.

She pushed back his hood and removed his mask, placing it carefully beside them, then she kissed him softly with gentle affection before nuzzling into his neck, vaguely aware that it was a habit she was developing since she liked the closeness and the scent of his skin.

“I did not expect you to find me but I am glad you did.” He replied after kissing her back.

They heard heavy padded footsteps as Naga walked lazily up to them. Korra spotted the polar bear dog approaching from Noatak’s back.

“Aw, I’m sorry I forgot about you, girl.” Korra spoke to her furry friend allowing Naga to lick one of her hands, when the beast huffed a little.

Noatak turned his head slightly to look at the animal whose snout was just inches from his head, only barely able to see it from the corner of his eye as his grip tightened around Korra out of instinctive possessiveness.

“I still don’t think she likes me much.” He said, but Naga rebuked him by liking the back of his head and raising his hair with polar bear dog drool in a comical cowlick.

“I beg to differ.” Korra snorted still pressed childishly to him with her arms around his neck as she shook with laughter.

“Glad I can amuse you.” He replied sarcastically with a ruffled frown, even if deep down he loved to hear her laugh.

“Sourpuss.” She teased, blowing on his neck playfully and knowing full well she was attacking a weakness.

Noatak shuddered, gritting his teeth and tightening his grip on her again.

“Korra…” He said warningly.

“Yes-?” She teased, tickling the back of his neck with the tips of her fingers as Naga slumped to the ground slowly, lying lazily next to them.

“Stop that.” He commanded sternly between gritted teeth as goosebumps rose of his damaged skin.

“Stop what?” Korra snickered and licked down his throat but just lightly and slowly enough that the tickling was unbearable instead of pleasurable while her fingers kept tickling.

Noatak hissed but couldn’t hold back a bark of laughter. It seemed to fluster him but Korra loved it, it was the first time she had ever seen or heard him laugh and she felt her heart skip a beat- he looked so young and sweet and happy even if his loud laugh was as raspy and deep as his voice. It made him look so free and so human.

She was so distracted staring dreamily at him that the very sulky Noatak took the opportunity to attack her ribs and sides in the same fashion with his long fingers. Korra wasn’t particularly ticklish in any area besides her feet but he knew just how the hit the most sensitive spots until she was howling with laugher and trying to get back at him.

When they finally stopped she was huffing and still snorting but she couldn’t stop smiling.

“Why is it that when I am with you I become such a different man, Avatar Korra?” He murmured pensively in her ear.

“Because I’m awesome and I bring out the best in you?” She joked.

“Indeed you do.” He kissed the curve of her neck. “If the world saw me right this moment I don’t think anyone would ever believe who I was.”

“I’ll keep it a secret then.” She smirked humorously. “So I’ll be the only one to enjoy this Noatak.”

“That seems appropriate.” He nodded.

They kissed again, deeply and intensely with their lips melding together sweetly with unhidden tenderness, then embraced content to be in each other’s arms.

They were woken from their stupor by Naga’s soft growling.

The polar bear dog got up and they realized someone was coming. Noatak disentangled himself from Korra’s arms as she stood, then he placed his mask and hood back on and disappeared silently out the back while Korra made a pretense of petting Naga’s snout.

“There you are, Korra. Uncle Bumi is about to leave.” Jinora walked in quietly, looking around inconspicuously before Ikki came trailing behind.

“Did you find her? Is she here? She said was going to see Naga, so she must…” Ikki stopped talking when she spotted Korra then beamed. “Uncle Bumi is going. Want to say goodbye?”

“Sure thing, kiddo.” Korra scratched Naga’s ears and even allowed the polar bear dog to walk with them as they headed for the harbor.

Korra’s mood was joyful again as they sent Commander Bumi off, now that she knew she’d have another nocturnal visit during which she planned not only to indulge in Noatak’s affections but also hoped he would listen to her worries about the vision and nightmares, she wanted him to reassure her, which was exactly what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: Next chapter Korra receives the biggest surprise of her life.)


	22. Surprises

Korra rolled her neck and shoulders, hearing the cracking noises of her tired bones as she ate her substantial breakfast.

She hadn’t slept much the night before but wasn’t complaining in the least. Making love to Noatak had been fun but what had really kept her awake had been the time she spent in his arms telling him all about the stressful experiences of the day, from the nightmare and the vision to being exposed to Katara, and he had certainly appeased her. He was frank and practical as always when he told her the old master was right but the way he gave his opinion made Korra feel a lot better and reassured. She had never really needed reassurance from others before, she _wanted_ acceptance and recognition all the time but didn’t _need_ reassurance since she always did what she wanted without caring much for those who disagreed, but with Katara and Noatak it was different; in Katara’s case because she had experience with the previous Avatar and had helped raise Korra with the principles she now held dear, and Noatak because she valued his opinion (even when she didn’t agree) and felt strangely protected around him.

The conversation had then spiraled into a talk of how Noatak’s father would have a stroke if he knew his son was agreeing with Katara, one of people he had hated the most in the entire world. Then, to lighten the mood and sate her curiosity, Korra had asked where Noatak was staying now that he had returned but the answer was surprisingly simple- he seemed to have a small apartment inherited from Yakone’s days in the ex-Red Monsoon territory, the area itself still bore the nickname Red Aurora district and not many people ventured in there, making it relatively secluded. It wasn’t something he had particularly wanted out of basic principle but he was not stupid enough to forfeit a perfectly good anonymous hideout simply out of pride, after all it wasn’t as if Yakone had actually _lived_ there, he had just owned a few of that sort of places to rent out at exorbitant prices and rip-off newcomers or hide illegal materials. The loft had been empty and abandoned for years so he took it over and Korra was pleased to know that at least he had a safe place to be when they were apart.

The night had been long and pleasant but in the end Korra gave in to sleep thanks to all the excitement of the day and when she awoke, feeling sick, terrified and miserable again thanks to her nightmares, it was already the crack of dawn and Noatak was already gone, leaving her wrapped in a blanket with a wild sprig of lavender next to her pillow. Any other girl would have been flattered to wake up to the sight of a stem of lovely lilac blossoms, but Korra knew how much deeper it went- lavender was known to relax and ease sleep as well as dispel dreams. Noatak may not have been the most romantic person in the world but he cared and his every action was filled with hidden meaning. How he gotten the sprig so quickly and placed on her pillow was where the real mystery remained.

Korra finished her breakfast and cleared her things from the table sluggishly, taking her time to wash the dishes with a slight headache starting to pound in her temples.

“Tired, Korra?” Katara walked next to her with Jinora as they carried their own tableware.

“Nah, just a headache.” Korra replied in half-truth.

“Perhaps you would feel better after getting some air?” Katara smiled kindly but there was a secretive tone in her voice that told Korra it was a request more than a suggestion.

“I’ll do that, I need to feed Naga anyway. Thanks.” Korra nodded, stifling a yawn as she finished the chore.

And that was how half an hour later, Korra was supplying Naga’s feeding manger with food for her furry friend. The polar bear dog hungrily indulged in what was offered as Korra petted her snow white fur, spacing out slightly and sighing at the memory of the previous day’s encounter just a few feet from where she stood.

“Feeling better?” A gentle voice called from the entrance of the pen.

“A little.” Korra replied as she walked towards Katara. “I take it it’s time we had that talk?”

Katara nodded and they walked quietly towards the bamboo garden near the spinning boards’ platform. Korra still didn’t manage to cross the platform avoiding every single board but she didn’t plan on surrendering any time soon.

The sat on a stone bench, it was early and nobody was scheduled to practice there that day so they were assured to have privacy. Katara seemed distant and deep in thought.

“So, what’s up?” Korra asked, leaning back against a bamboo stalk.

Katara pondered for a few moments, watching Jinora, Ikki and Meelo training forms in the distance far below them. “Did you know I wasn’t that much older than you when Kya, my daughter, was born?” She waved at the children.

All three kids briefly waved back and Korra greeted them equally before they returned their concentration to the practice.

“Nope, why?” Korra replied oblivious of why that mattered.

“I was just thinking that at the time it was so sudden, but it was one of the biggest blessings of my life… And then came Bumi, years later and by then we feared we’d never have an airbender to continue the Air Nomad lineage…Now, look at them.” She beckoned at the training children. “Four young airbenders and Aang isn’t even here to see his dream come true.” Katara waved at the whole island and sighed, she looked filled with sorrow and pride all at once.

“He knows, Katara. After all, I’m here.” Korra smiled, bumping shoulders with the old lady.

“That you are but you have your own dreams, Korra. Never give up on them even if circumstances make it hard to see them become a reality.” Katara’s tone was becoming slightly more serious.

“Alright.” Korra agreed but her curiosity was really nagging her. “What’s this all about, Katara?”

“I’m not sure how begin.” The old woman stared at the distant children pensively. “I believe it is best we start with the more serious matter.”

“Katara, you’re scaring me here.” Korra was only half-joking as she looked at her elderly master.

“Korra, the other night when we were at the party, do you remember when Toph was thinking up a nickname for you and touched your arm?” Katara asked, finally looking Korra in the eye.

“Yeah, so?” The Avatar wondered where this was going.

“I’ve told you before that Toph has the unique ability to see by touch, thanks to vibrations through the earth, she can also tell whether people are lying or experiencing heightened emotions with that technique and her sharp hearing. What I never explained is that she can also perceive things about people in bigger detail when she has an earthen medium under feet and touches the person at the same time, she developed that technique unconsciously in her early adult life while teaching metalbending. Something to do with movement of the blood in the body.” Katara explained in simple terms.

“So, you’re saying she noticed something about me? What, like something off or wrong?” Korra was more curious than alarmed but by the look in the wise woman’s face, she should have been petrified.

“Yes.” Katara paused for a moment to take a steadying breath, but for Korra it felt like she was building up suspense.

“What was it?”

“She was under the distinct impression that you are with child.” Katara spoke hesitantly.

The silence that followed those words was lengthy, the atmosphere seemed heavy and palpable and the temperature appeared to have plummeted ten degrees in a matter of seconds. Korra felt herself fall into a bizarre sensation of dreamlike unreality.

“So…she thinks I’m pregnant?” Korra’s tone was mocking and playful and she smirked as if it was all a silly mistake.

“She seemed fairly certain of it.” Katara nodded, still somber. “And Toph’s certainties are usually never wrong.”

Korra stared at Katara, still expecting the old woman to crack into a smile and reveal it all to be a joke, but the seconds rolled by and Katara simply held her gaze in grave silence.

“She must have been mistaken this time.” Korra broke the eye contact and leaned back again in a show of fake nonchalance. She was trying to think of all the possibilities but her brain didn’t want to cooperate and she kept losing her train of thought while feeling her insides turn to ice.

“Korra, I understand your disbelief but just answer me one thing.” The aging master still refused to look away.

“Yes?” Korra’s hands were starting to fidget lightly in her lap.

“Is it possible, even in the slightest, that this might be true?” Katara emphasized every word carefully.

Once again the silence stretched out, this time for several minutes. The cool foggy morning wind had dispelled into a warm breeze and the sun was shining in full glory above them, casting dancing shadows among the shivering bamboo stalks whose leaves broke the silence with whispered rustles.

“Yes.” Korra murmured at last, mentally retracing all the times she and Noatak had been intimate. Her body had gone rigid with tension and stress.

“I see.” Katara finally looked away calmly. “Then take your time and consider the signs, Korra.”

«Signs…?» Korra’s brain was still refusing to function properly or process information. «What signs?!»

Slowly, she began to grasp together several loose threads of thought. When was the last time she had had any monthly needs? She couldn’t quite recall but had definitely still been back at the cave, but that wasn’t so surprising she had never been very regular to begin with. What other signs could there be? She considered for a moment and a few ideas crossed her mind- what if maybe, just maybe, the dreams hadn’t been the reason she became nauseated? What if that was simply what woke her from them? What if her heightened emotional states lately were a sign too? What if the exhaustion and dizziness weren’t from depression and lack of sleep?

The new perspective was shocking but then even more terrifying contemplations emerged- What if the dreams and visions were really warnings or threats? Was it a coincidence that this was happening along with them? How could they have been so stupid and careless?

«No, it’s not that we were careless, it’s that it seemed so right and…and our reason was clouded somehow.» She was probably making excuses for herself but she began to remember the other dreams, not the disturbing nightmares but the demanding carnal dreams she had had time and time again and that had only ceased when she made love to Noatak…Thinking further back, she considered that maybe all her dreams and flashes since she set out for that beach had been pushing her towards this position, whether she consciously wanted it or not.

“Oh…” The gasped word slipped out from her lips before she even noticed it. Could it be that this was an overly manipulated design of Fate? Or of some Spirit, maybe? Was this some twisted answer to her requests for guidance?

“Have you come to some conclusion, Korra?” Katara was patiently waiting at her side while time rolled by and the Avatar immersed herself in a turmoil of confused thoughts.

“I…I think Toph might just be right.” Korra’s face was a mask of pure shock. “And I think maybe… maybe this wasn’t really an accident.”

“What do you mean?” Katara tilted her head with mild curiosity.

“I have just stumbled on a ridiculous theory…” Korra went on to explain, as vaguely as possible, how she might have been led by supernatural forces to the situation she was now. She gave Katara a skeleton of the tale of what had really happened while she had been away, focusing more on details of the dreams and her emotional and spiritual growth than on the information about the man she had fallen for and why he had needed saving in the first place. In the end the theory seemed absurd and silly, or at least so she hoped.

Katara listened to her words in silence and asked no questions, but by the time the story was over, the elderly woman seemed deep in contemplation while Korra was starting to panic and began to realize that she was actually starting to believe that she might indeed be ‘with child’ and the surreal sense of dreamlike theory was starting to fade into a sharp terrifying world of reality.

It was only when Korra got up and began pacing anxiously that Katara finally spoke up.

“Korra, I can’t yet tell if your theory is valid or not but like I said yesterday, perhaps it is best if we stay in the moment and not worry about the supernatural implications. I’m not saying to ignore them, just not worry too much.” The wise aging healer spoke with concern but warmth and as she watched Korra pacing faster and faster, she added- “And please, calm down.”

“Calm down? Calm down?! How…How can I…?” Korra was yelling in reaction to the words but the pacing really was making her woozy so she did attempt to cool down and sit back on the bench. “What am I going to do, Katara?” She looked desperately at the wise master, starting to hyperventilate just like the day before.

“Right now? You and I are going to have some tea with Toph Beifong and really confirm your situation. After that you can panic all you want if you wish but I’m sure everything will be alright.”

Korra took the kind words as an order and forced herself to quiet down. She pushed all the theories and worries to the back of her mind under a little ‘be right back’ sign and focused all her energy only on evening out the breathing before they walked down to the dock in order to await the arrival of an illustrious blind bender for a visit that might change her life forever.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

Toph arrived some time before noon. She was angry and irritable from having to travel on the ferry, she truly detested boats, she couldn’t _see_ a thing and being surround only by water was incredibly uncomfortable. Katara had offered to visit but in the end Toph had volunteered to go instead, her old friend never got much time to spend with her sons and the blind bender didn’t wish to deprive her of that pleasure, after all she could be with Lin every day if she wished and a little ferry trip wouldn’t kill her.

As the vessel moored, she felt the jolt of the hull bumping to the little harbor and her heart skipped a beat, she never admitted it to anyone but being so vulnerable without earth around her still managed to startle her greatly even after so many years.

She heard the voices of Katara and Korra in the distance as they approached steadily. Katara was calm as always but Korra’s voice was shaky and when she held out a hand to help Toph off the boat, the blind crone could tell the Avatar’s heartbeat was racing magnificently. So it was easy to deduce that they had had the talk already.

“Welcome, my old friend.” Katara’s warm mellow voice reached Toph’s ears.

“Yes, welcome.” Korra added hastily.

“Yeah, thanks. Now may I please get to dry land?” Toph was snarky and only relaxed her tense old frame when her bare feet touched the island ground. “Ah, dirt sweet dirt.”

Katara smiled a little and took her friend’s arm, leading all the way to the temple, with Korra trailing nervously behind them.

“So you told her then.” It wasn’t a question but Toph tilted her expressionless face towards her friend anyway.

“Yes, I did.” Katara replied.

They entered the temple and with a gentle smile, Katara guided Toph to her guest room whilst Korra was left behind to get some tea for the elderly masters. It was an excuse, of course, just so Pema would think it was a private visit between old friends but the little ruse worked nonetheless and soon Korra carried a tray of jasmine tea and berry cakes towards Katara’s room. She was so nervous that she forgot to knock and merely walked in, but neither woman seemed to mind.

Korra set the tray on the small low table in the middle of the sparsely decorated quarter, then shut the door and sat next to Katara, facing Toph’s hauntingly blank eyes.

“So, um…What-?” Korra was interrupted by Toph’s raised hands in front of her face.

“Wait.” Toph commanded loudly and Korra noticed that her head was cocked as if she were listening for something.

As they waited, the Avatar noticed that the old earthbender wore a simple and overly large lime and moss colored short sleeved tunic with matching short pants and a wide brown sash. Her headband was a simple metallic gold color and the same dark metal armlet still adorned her crinkly bicep.

“Alright, all clear now.” Toph grinned widely and took a sniff. “Oh jasmine tea! The…”

“Solution to any problem.” Katara said in unison with Toph and they both chuckled. Korra assumed it was a long-standing private joke.

“Ah, I miss the old dude.” Toph sighed with ridiculous exaggeration.

Korra was fidgeting with the edge of her top, feeling the little ‘be right back’ sign in her mind starting to rattle as all the worries and considerations seemed to want to gush out and flood her senses.

“Can we please get on with this?” Korra whined, frustrated and anxious.

“Seesh, ok ok. So impatient.” Toph rolled her head awkwardly. “I’m trying to roll my eyes, am I doing it right?”

“Yes, Toph.” Katara replied gentle.

«So impatient…» The words echoed in Korra’s mind and she remembered the last time someone had said that to her. It had been Noatak and just the memory gave her goosebumps.

“Oh, oh. Someone’s heart just sped up. Are you that freaked out?” Toph snickered a little.

Korra didn’t reply and just sulked lightly, anxiously waiting to know whatever it was she had to do.

“I don’t hear an answer. Did you nod or something? ‘Cause...” the blind bender waved her hand before her eyes repeatedly with good humor. “…remember?”

“She’s nervous. Give the girl a break, Toph.” Katara spoke warmly rubbing Korra’s back quietly.

“Fine, fine. Get over here, kid.” Toph patted the floor next to her.

Korra crawled over and sat next to the master. Before she could ask what she was supposed to do, the earthbender was grabbing for her top and pulling it over her head which startled her but squirmed out of the garment anyway and sat there nervously in just her pants and wrappings, thankful that only Katara could see the collection of different toned little marks around her neck.

Toph’s rather cool hands then skimmed up her arms and felt around for the right spot on her torso, poking her skin until they fell on her belly. The woman seemed a little lost thanks the wooden floor instead of stone but she didn’t really show any frustration and merely stayed still and quiet with her wrinkled snowy white hands on Korra’s dark cinnamon skin.

“Hum…” Toph was musing with an unreadable face. “Well, I’m still pretty darn sure there’s something in there but I can’t sense another heartbeat so it must be under three months. Want to check it out, Katara?”

Korra looked from one woman to the other, feeling like some sort of experiment and sensing the little wall on her thoughts starting to crack, still she stared at Katara trying to quiet her mind.

“Alright.” The master healer replied calmly.

The earthbender removed her hands and Katara uncapped her water skin, bending the liquid onto her hands and letting it glow strongly before setting it on Korra’s dusky skin with slow circular movements. It was an eerie sensation, Korra had felt it before, of course, but when there was pain of a wound to heal the sensation was easily disregarded, since there was no hurt now everything was just surreal and almost numbing. Korra herself had never mastered healing techniques like this, she could use the water to detect and repair internal injuries to some limited extent but if there wasn’t an actually injury or disruption of energy flow there wasn’t much she could detect. But Katara was a legend at what she did and if she couldn’t find anything in Korra’s body then there was really nothing to be found.

After several long minutes of concentration Katara receded and bent the water back into its flask. Toph had grown bored and was leaning back on the table with her dusty feet stretched out while munching on some cakes chewing loudly and yawning.

“Well?” Korra was pulling her top on again, avoiding her master’s eyes and mentally begging- «Say it’s nothing, say it’s nothing, say it’s nothing. I’m not ready yet, please say it’s nothing.»

“Well, Korra, I have to agree with Toph- I am fairly certain you’re expecting.” Katara spoke softly and kindly, setting a hand on Korra’s shoulder, possibly because she could predict the outburst that was about to come. “Before you panic, will you give me consent to tell Toph what you told me this morning?”

Korra nodded numbly. Now that the confirmation was out she couldn’t quite believe it, she still felt it was a mistake even if her brain told her it wasn’t. Her rambling thoughts were back and she barely heard the other women talk as she tried to make sense of things; she was so out of touch with reality that she didn’t even feel her nails digging into her palms.

“So, who’s the daddy?” Toph elbowed Korra with complicity.

“Toph. That’s Korra’s business.” Katara chided softly.

“Just curious to know who was brave enough to knock up the Avatar.” Toph shrugged.

“Toph, that isn’t…” Katara began but was interrupted by Korra.

“Can’t you ever be serious?!” Korra yelled and stood up angrily.

“I spent most of my adult life having to be serious, I don’t see why I can’t be myself around friends.” Toph replied not really reacting to Korra’s tone and still looking ahead of her blankly, although she knew Korra had stood.

“Ah! Whatever!” Korra yelled, huffing and panting with stress and frustration. Deep down she was ashamed of her lack of respect but all she could think about was him.

«How am I ever going to tell Noatak?» The question floated up the swampy mess that was her confused brain and bobbed in her mind unnervingly. Even thinking of his name made her feel warm and terrified all at once and the question was like boulder suddenly being dropped on her chest- she couldn’t breathe.


End file.
